Read .............

This and try not to come. I hate viral blog referencing but I couldn't just rewrite or steal the article from 8 day old Wired News. That would be bad.

Anyway if you've already come a click to far to reach this page basically Final Fantasy characters will be unlockable in Mario Hoops for the DS. Great news huh?

No because a) It's Mario fucking hoops, why on earth is mario playing basketball? and b) Apart from moogle and cactuar the characters mentioned so far are generic Black Mage, Ninja and White Mage which are a bit pants and a bit too much Final Fantasy 11 for my liking if you know what I mean?

Are Square-Enix that retarded? If you own Cloud, Squall, Yuna, Tifa etc.etc.etc. why on earth aren't you putting them in the game? Unless you secretly know that it will be a shit game and are waiting for the That Guy's Game. In which case we accept but with the following stipulations; Tifa is always naked. That's it OK? Phone us tomorrow and we'll finalise everything then.

P.S. How do you get Aeris to come back from the dead? I heard there was a cheat or something


  1. I'm still fucking buying it though. Sheesh!


    Would but only in cosplay

  3. Anonymous08:12

    You want the cat to dress as Princess Edea and look moody?

    Yeah to get Aeris back to life you have to return to the City o Ancients after you have visitited Cosmo Canyon for the third time and after buying a Golden Pass Ticket and you must have talked to the guy in the tube on disc 1 and given him Marlene's special flower, he will give you some abused cheese, before you leave Junon make sure Cloud has cheese equipped when he performs for the President and if you done the whole routine including spinning the sword and wagging his wanger (super special secret) instead of Force Stealer you will recieve a Harpoon. Now at the City of the Ancients see that fish, Harpoon that mo'fo, watch cut scene, walk down the glowy stairs, Aeris is standing there in the next room cue cut scene (ohhhhh yeeaahhh).

    Then go on to complete game, however Aeris when leveling actually levels negativley.

  4. OMG Tx Good Doctor. I'm going to start again. I don't suppose you know the TOmb Raider naked cheat?

  5. Anonymous19:58

    Squint REALLY hard!


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