I am a nice person to know. Know Me. Know my Game. Muthabitch

Right so as you may have noticed this site is quite Resident Evil orientated. I decided its time for our readers which are less Resident Evil-literate to be come more aware of the people/characters/friends/sex objects in it. First up we have Claire Redfield.

Claire Redfield made her first appearance in Resident Evil 2.

Claire who was currently on a 72 hour fuckathon during her spring break gets a call from her brother Chris who was desperately looking for some weed, as he had used up all his “Green Herbs”, “Blue Herbs”, “Brown Herbs” and even his Precious “Red Herbs”. Thankfully the guys that she was receiving Dry Entry Anal Justice from were dealers. She promptly dismounted, grabbed a nearby gun, killed all 4 of them, cleaned up, grabbed the weed, and then stole their motorcycle (Claire was always the black sheep pf the Redfield family, dabbling in drugs, anal sex, and Killing the undead from a young age). Claire arrives late at night in Raccoon City, where she attempts to go eat at a local diner, and some guy in what seems like a one-piece police uniform jumpsuit thing promptly tells her to “Get down” and shoots a Zombie in the head. Claire who has been killing undead for years is relatively unscathed by this. At which point she notices a passing flaming truck, she uses this opportunity to ditch the filth, and continue to find he brother. Due to the outbreak there isn’t any cell phone coverage, so she goes to the police station, where Chris Works (You get leads of Weed in there). Where she gets hounded by Police boy, demanding her to split up and search for survivors, along with some stupid girl called Sherry who is getting chased around the city by Daddy. Clare finds herself bumping into police-boy a few times, which makes here slightly cautious so she ends up giving her jacket (with Chris’ Stash) to Sherry… Any way after a series of events involving Zombies, taxidermists, and small girls getting impregnated, Claire ends up “Getting the fuck out of Dodge” with Police-boy and freshly “cleaned-out” Sherry. And just in time too, the city has a nuke incoming.

She then makes another appearance in Resident Evil: Code Veronica:

This title is more of a psychological look into Claire and her past in this one she has cleaned up her act and is now facing the demons from her past the major one is drugs which is manifested as international pharmaceutical company: Umbrella, for which she had been battling against since Racoon City got blown up. Along the way she meets a character called Steve Burnside, Steve may seem like an innocent little dick in the game, however if we delve deeper into his character we realise this he is just a personification for her father figure (family being a strong theme in this title). Steve is a disturbing little shit, which tries it on with Claire in her sleep, this is of course another manifestation a repressed memory when daddy used to come into her room at night while she was sleeping.
Steve’s primary role in the game is to protect Claire, much as daddy did, we even see quite extreme acts of heroism from him such as when he came to the broken home of drugs and corruption where Chris and Clare grew up. Later in the game we see that daddy, wasn’t always the protector and was prone to abuse, when Steve transforms into a monster and attempts to kill Claire. Clare overcomes the monster in a beautiful psychological event, thus overcoming her demons and issues with daddy, allowing her to then proceed and destroy the drugs company/addiction.

Either that or Burnside is not a metaphor but indeed just a smarmy, horny, flaccid cock.

And there ends the wonder of Claire, hopefully we'll see her again soon mentally cleaned up in the next RE game…


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