AMAZING Dinosaurs in Games Review!!

Stomp, stomp, drool... I fucking love (Non Avian) dinosaurs! Seriously! If I had to choose my top 5 fantasy mates it would be dinosaurs. If I could have sex with anyone dead or alive it would be dinosaurs ALIVE! And there is nothing I like more than dinosaurs and other extinct organisms in computer games. I mean serious dinosaurs NOT this shit or this shit.

Here we go. Top however many I get to Greatest Dinosaur Games of ALL TIME

1. DINO CRISIS 1 & 2
Not 3 though because it has fake dinosaurs. Who would bother with making a game called dino crisis and then rendering fake dinosaurs. Anyway, you get to fight dinosaurs and pick up files bout dinosaurs like a Michel Benton book! The second one is better because you can run and shoot AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THAT IN RESIDENT EVIL 4! SPOILER Also, after being chased by T-rex through most of the game fucking Giganotosaurus eats it because it is bigger and some people still don’t even realise that T-rex wasn’t the biggest. Capcom are proper 1337 vertebrate palaeontologists!

2. JURASSIC PARK: OPERATION GENESIS
You can build your own JP and send palaeontolgists off to dig for fossils to make other dinosaurs that weren’t even in the fucking film! Also you can remove all the fences and get the dinosaurs to eat visitors. Even better Shoot Her Shoot Her Robert Muldoon tells you off for it EVEN THOUGH HE IS DEAD in the film. In addition the Dr. who does the research is called Dr.Wo.!!


3. JURASSIC PARK: WARPATH
You can fight with your favourite dinosaurs EVEN ONES THAT WEREN’T in the films! The best bit is that you can eat people to fill up your health bar. Even better if you fight through with one character you unlock EVEN MORE DINOSAURS! Also there is a museum where you can learn about your favourite dinosaurs, how old they are what noise they make and how to say their names in American!

4. TIMESPLITTERS
You can play as a dinosaur with guns! He looks like a T-rex but is very small so maybe he is a dwarf T-rex or a Nanotyrannus. Maybe he evolved on an island and that is why he is so small?

5. JURASSIC PARK
This was on the megadrive and it was well good because you could play as Dr.Grant but you could also play AS A FUCKING VELOCIRAPTOR! So what if it is too big in scale? That means it could be a Deinonychus, a giant Bambiraptor or a really small Megaraptor or a medium Utahraptor. Anyway it was hard but great.

6. POKEMON (All)
Okay so their names were changed but you could CONTROL an Ammonite, Trilobite, Coelocanth, Mammoth, Crinoid, Pterosaur or Opabinia! You could GET AN AMMONITE TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF A MIME ARTIST (albeit on a turn based way). That is education my friends!

7.SIBERIA 1&2
I haven’t even played these but they’ve got some of the best rendered mammoths I have ever seen! BETTER EVEN THAN WALKING WITH BEASTS

8. Turok
This was ok.

9. TOMB RAIDER
The first one had T-Rexs and Raptor things and the second one had T-rexs and the third one had Raptors and T-rexs in it too!!!!!!


DINOSAURS IN GAMES ROCK!! Send in dinosaurs you’ve seen in games (no fake ones) and I’ll tell you how badly they ROCK!! I've just realised I forgot EVIL DEAD: FISTFUL OF BOOMSTICK, SIPHON FILTER and PARASITE EVE 2. ROCK!!!

Comments

Richie said…
...Zombies are better
Cunzy11 said…
Lets not fight!

ZOMBIE FUCKING DINOSAURS!

How about that? Resident Evil -65000000Ma. Awesome.
Cunzy11 said…
OMG Animal Crossing!

You can dig up fossils, send them to the museum for identification and then put them in your house!!

ROCK!
Richie said…
Resident evil: Code Mesozoic

This game has Scenes of Explicit Violence and gore.

July 10th -70, 599, 678 BC
Racoon Forest
(noted for the first apperance of Angiosperms)

A elite group of Velociraptors (V.A.R.S.) have been set to investigate and outbreak of a possible mammalian invasion. These organisms have been noted to have fur instead of scales and have the ability to implant embryos (and incubate) internally.

Oh the geekery
Richie said…
Or did you mean Zombies "Fucking" dinosaurs? cuz if you did then you are a sick puppy.
Cunzy11 said…
YEAH!
chunkysalsa said…
two more games to moisten your keyboard:

King Kong
Zoo Tycoon

no fucking or zombies though. sorry.
chunkysalsa said…
You may also be interested in this:

dieyouzombiebastards
Richie said…
Oh there’s fucking hundreds of Dinosaurs in WoW!

There is a museum in Ironforge where Dwarves are mining for Palaeontological remains of the races of WoW. has some big T-Rex Skulls etc.

There are a lot of enemies in WoW which are dinosaurs, when you start the game you will mostly come across Velociraptors. There is even an Area of the world for level 48-55ish characters called Un Goro Crater, this is absolutely teaming with Dinos, It has Pterodactyls, and Dimetrodons it even had Hard-as-nails T-rex-like characters running about.

However this area has got fire imps, weird soil, and killer plants roaming about.

And one last shout to Palaeo-WoW, if you are a Troll you get a Raptor as a mount.
Cunzy11 said…
Why would you lie Richie?

I know there aren't dinosaurs in WoW! You are just lying so that I'll play it.

We could have a guild called These Guys!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! It's the beginning of the end
Richie said…
Links:

http://www.wowwiki.com/Diemetradon

http://www.wowwiki.com/Pterrordax

http://www.wowwiki.com/Stegodon
Richie said…
Yeah and then we can start recieving application forms from all our readers asking to join our guild and we can review them and only invite certain people, then we can make That Guys our guild page, give up our day jobs, live, eat and breathe WoW, renounce Sex or any physical contact, Speak only in Acronyms till the english language gets bastardised into a former shadow of what it once was.

~Wnak
Richie said…
And:

Sid Meier's Dinosaurs.

Its been canned though.
Richie said…
And #2:

The T-Rex thing on Demo one with the PS1 where you could rotatit about and make its moth open and stuff.
Richie said…
Opening Moths is a passtime of mine.

Games With Moths:

Resident evil 2

... anymore?
Cunzy11 said…
Dustox? Venemoth?
chuff_72 said…
Silent Hill 2 had a giant scary ass moth that didn't actually deal any damage.

Ok, any more games with moths and '2' in the title.
dr wo 69 said…
Godzilla on the SNES had Mothra in it however it did suck my balls and didnt have a japanese guy saying "its goadziiwwaa!" So bad on all counts.

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