That was close

lWhew! I am alive. I wasn't dead. Here is what happened

About a week ago there was an incident involving zombies in the outskirts of London City. During this incident my father was murdered so I went seeking vengeance with a big sword. After finding a pirate, who I thought was responsible, and beating him I learned that it was me who killed my father. I went mental for a bit and ended up wandering into a science facility. No sooner had I turned up than something happened transporting me to an alien planet. After what seemed like forever I was picked up by a passing ship. Upon arriving on earth I found out that my mother have died so I flew to my home town. After the funeral I stuck around and found out that the old hood was in a right state so me and my homies set about cleaning it up that was until a giant monster turned up. We eventually felled the foul beast and I went back to my house only to find it wasn't my house anymore. So I moved to a new house in a new city. But then that got attacked by a dragonand my house turned into an angel thing so I moved out again and I am now homeless living in a box ...... just a cardboard box.


  1. Anonymous09:40

    did you have to talk to the dog to get through the small alleyway, then search around in the bins 50 times to find a picture of your new house (box), only to find your house (box) actually came from the same nursery as your other house (box) you "just forgot"

  2. Oh yeah, I forgot that bit maybe because I've been using too many GFs

  3. Anonymous14:10

    I don’t know, Cunzy, I think you probably fell in to the Earth’s Lifestream, fracturing your mind in to various versions of your conscience, only to be reconstructed by an ridiculously proportioned woman who entered your mind (constructed mainly of floating rock islands in a sea of purple) and convinces you to resemble yourself. It is then possible that you realised that you were in fact an alien form “somewhere”, only then to find out you were a “clone” of said alien, and therefore not your regular every-day alien. And this is (possibly) why you don’t remember.

    I am sure there are other portions to this tale but for some reason these are made inaccessible because you live on a small island surrounded by what appears to be a “repulsion” field, designed to deflect innovation and creativity and to deny us the “good shit.”


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