Enemy Skill


I need help from you! (by you, I mean Richie and our pseudo-anonymous commentor). I recently bought myself a DS (Yeah, yeah. I know the DSlite is coming out soon but I'm a big guy and I'm worried that i might either eat the dinky thing or end up covering the touch screen with my fat digits).

Anyway, I have Mario Kart DS, Advance Wars Dual Strike and Nintendogs. Of course you understand that Nintendogs was part of a bundle, despite what the man at GAME will tell you. It wasn't Mario Kart at all.
I still have to train my dog properly (at the moment he sits down about 1 in every 10 times I tell him to, despite the fact that on his tricks menu he has "learned" this skill), I still have to finish the missions and the 150cc cups and I've still to finish campaign mode not to mention my desire to go online with MK.

But I want a new game too. Due to Nintendo's passionate hate for Europe (Wario Ware Twisted anyone? Have you tried to buy a gamecube game or accessory anywhere other than online recently?) I live in daily fear that the games on my want list may soon dissappear of our shelves to be replaced by the new top ten games and the latest Sponge Bob pish. Here's how it goes:

Phoenix Wright I yearn to play this crazy game for its japanised touch screen click and point goodness
Trauma Centre Surgery on the tube? NEED THIS
Resident Evil: Deadly Silence I don't care if it'll be the 4th time I've played a slightly tweaked game (Resident Evil & RE Director's Cut on PSOne & the Gamecube version). The zombie threat is a real one and with protable daily training I'll be more prepared. And it's different (again). And it's got a touchscreen. And it's WIFI (I still shed a tear, nightly for you RE:Outbreak and your nasty nasty multiplayer lies).
Those stupid Japanese pocket monster games Aaaarghh! Now there's two of them (soon anyway). I know it's inexcusable but after 600 hours (I checked this last night 285 hours on Sapphire, 100 hours on Silver, 106 hours on Yellow and 160 hours on Fire Red not including the fact that I've restarted Fire Red any of the Stadiums, Colloseum or emulated Pinball. The card game doesn't count and I've never played that anyway....) of playing the other ones; Pokemon have literally nested themselves in the dark recesses of my mind that houses addiction, blindness to finances, the wonderfullness of interconnectivity (Even though I've only ever traded with two people any fought only one) and the need for sleep.
Metroid Prime: Hunters Portable online FPS?
Animal Crossing: Wild World Okay I know, that my Gamecube AC town is knee deep in weeds and that all of the residents hate me because I visit so rarely. I also know that Tom Nook has got a hit out on me because I've owed him a million bells since April. But if it's on the DS I will look after the town. I swear. And its online!
Prof Kawashima's Brain Training So I can show my other friends that gaming isn't sad or geeky its actually intelligent and culturally significant
New Super Mario Brothers Nooo! stop
Jump Superstars Fake super smash brothers with Dragonball and One piece characters. Aaagh!
Electroplankton ............
Micro Machin............

ItChy, TAsTy


  1. Right

    Phoenix Wright - Good but just a kinda lawyer version of Trauma Centre
    Trauma Centre - I like the idea of this one, but in sating tha I have a hard-on for Biology
    Resident Evil: Deadly Silence - Do it! Do it now! I must say i'm disappointed in your hesitance
    Those stupid Japanese pocket monster games - Right now they are gay ca$h-in games, fuck them till they bring out the now "Proper" ones with another 200 new pokemon!
    Metroid Prime - Mnnh, I aint a big fan of the series. Plus the gamecube ones werent that brilliant, I think I'd prefer a 2D version
    Animal Crossing: Wild World - Do it!
    Prof Kawashima's Brain Training - So I can show my other friends that gaming isn't sad or geeky its actually intelligent and culturally significant - Dont Bullshit me... anyway this game has Cunzy11 written all over it. Do It!
    New Super Mario Brothers - hmm yeah whatever... the next mario game i'm playing is the galaxy one, nothing more. That italian duo have disappointed me too much recently, sell-outs.
    Shonen Jump Superstars - AMAZING!!! I cant believe that this made it on your wish list, this is a must buy for me! however i dont know if you will know many of teh characters etc... and i think thats what this game relies on.

    In Conclusion, buy them in this order
    1. Resident Evil: Deadly Silence
    2. Animal Crossing: Wild World
    3. Prof Kawashima's Brain Training

  2. Oh, BTW (ergh!). How much do we have in the That Guy's special offshore accounts. Maybe I could use it to buy some of these games for research..

    And then I could buy Pkmn Dash and the other one. Just a little bit. I need my fix. Diamond and Pearl are sooooooooooooooo far away.

  3. I'm afraid I cannot allow a purchase of that kind... We all know that the games will be shit, soul-less, money-rakers for the poor hapless fans of the series. deal with it, move on. And if you have to buy Pokemon XD.

  4. I might be able to get Mew. Or Celebi. Maybe Deoxys? They might let me bring back Aeris, get Lara naked, play as Sephiroth?, WHAT ABOUT THE RUMOURED "HOT JYNX" MODS.....

  5. Ha! I heard they have commectivity to the WoW servers allowing you to play as giant Pokemon aginst 40-man raids, and If you defeat them, Jynx/Ashs mum/Machoke loses a piece of clothing.

  6. Yeah Commectivity! its want the cool kids call cross-platform connectivity... you wanna fight about it...

  7. And We all know that Machoke is Nintendo's nod to Zangief. So if you turn the colour of the monitor of IT IS ACTUALLY NAKED ZANGIEF!!

    If you are good enough that is

  8. Yeah, "of the monitor of" is L337 for "of the monitor off" just because you're a Noob. Gay.


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