Richie was asking about gay characters in computer games the other day. I wasn't I was watching straight porn, driving my massive 6 litre-4 cylinder-8 diameter alloyed car to play a sport whilst opening really tight jars for women.

However are there any? Other than Tara and Willow in the Buffy games. There are a lot of trannys and this seems to be ok with the Japanese and the Federation-of-American-Mothers-for-the-purification-of-filth-on-all-types-of-media-god-that-bastard-father-of-your-is-working-late-at-the-office-again. However, bona-fide out there gay characters seem to be a no-no. How about an aggressive gay beat'm'up character who says "Show me the Butt" when he wins?

There are the gay guys in vice city who walk around saying lyrics from YMCA (I presume they are gay. My American friend tells me that they all wear blue Hawaian Shirts and have ginger hair). There is also Squall who passes up the chance to tap Quistis to spend it moping around saying ..... to everyone he meets. Closet gay. I was never too sure about Vega.

In fact most computer game characters don't express their sexuality or their sexual desires. To protect the kidz I guess. To be honest the more they know about it before their first encounter the better. Still in rated games why not?
How about in RPGs having a horny bar that fills up over time and when it is full you can't cast spells or use items and all other characters become walking genitalia until you bone a pro, find a quiet spot and tap the masturbate button or cyber someone. (for WoW players read buy another version of Ipod, upload your ipodphotos to Flickr or feed your cat).

How come it's ok for Pokemon to have implied shagging and reproduction in it and yet any vague intent of showing two human(oid) characters flirting with each other, with more in mind than a crap kiss in the closing FMV, can't or hasn't been potrayed other than lame prostitute/girlfriend encounters in GTA. Even the sex minigame in Fahrenheit was seen a controversial. Personally I think the fact that Carla shags Lucas (Lucky boy twice in one game?) when he is technically dead is more of an eyebrow raiser.

Even Pyramid Head gets a bang.


  1. There is a lot of demand for gay characters.

    In my research I discovered a vast array of lesbian gamers that insist on writing naughty stories about Claire and Jill, Hitomi and Helena, Aeris and Tifa, the list goes on. I've even collected a vast array of JPEGs in my research. Those lesbian gamers are very industrious and skilled with photoshop I can tell you that much.

    Weirdly though it seems that all lesbian gamers choose male gamer names.

  2. I demand thise fan fictions/ pics be posted!

  3. Also for your reference:

  4. Squall does well for himself in Kingdom Hearts though... He ditches those ophanage losers, gets a voice (Angel aka David Boreanez), Teams up with Yuffie and Aeris.. and tavels though multiple cross-over dimentions.

  5. I also forgot the gay relationships you can develop in the Sims.
    Also, there are heterosexual encounters in the Sims and FFX, FFX-2. And if one more person emails me tryings with the example of Wakka and Lulu as a serious "sexualised" relationship in games then I will slap them because it is the most tedious and generic relationship to ever hit a console and or have a virtual baby (save Squall/Rinoa). 4/10 See Me.

  6. I get about 50 everyday from That guy.... fans.

    Don't you?


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