Mobile Gaming?

Yeah that’s right, I am posting about Mobile games! As well, unfortunately I am an osmotic expert in this area. Now I know ‘gamers’ quickly dismiss mobile gaming, and quite rightly so, there is a myriad of terrible cash-ins, all because there are fucking retards out there that are willing to buy screensavers, wallpapers, ringtones and games based on fads (Crazy frog anyone). And all these fucking mobile distribution fucks do is charge it to their mobile accounts for a picture or a midi file, if anybody just realised the 90% of the phones out there have pc connectivity you could download a better jpeg/midi file and be slightly more individual. Conclusion if you EVER even THINK about downloading a ringtone from one of those FUCKING ADVERTS on music channels, you are a braindead fuck who doing nothing but contributing to the lowering of standards of media everywhere, YOU “SUN” READING FAECAL ABORTION!

All that’s aside in amongst the shit there are actually some good games which are well worth looking into. In my opinion for a mobile game to be good it cant be too involving or require any skill in kitting those buttons, as we all know most mobiles are not ergonomic/responsive. Here is a list of mobile games worth playing:

1. Skipping Stone.

This is originally a Korean game, and as such has a wonderful collection of “Quirky” graphics. The game, as you may have guessed, is a challenge to keep the skipping stone bouncing, to do this it is a matter of pressing “5” at just the right time when the stone hits the water. The pure simplicity of the game sells it to me, and as a timewaster on the bus, it more than works!

2. Chu Chu Rocket.

A wonderful port (and apologies I know this is a port but this game should have been made for the mobile phone!), if not long overdue, of the Sega Puzzle game where mindless space mice must escape in rockets and dodge the evil space cats… A premise like that cannot be beaten.

3. Doom RPG.

As much as I hate to say it (because everyone is) this game is good! And even with the old 2,4,6,8 controls, this game still rocks, worthy of being on a handheld device such as the GBA/PSP.

4. Agent V.

Ok this one is brilliant! And over-looked due to it being a game that “ships” with the Nokia phones. It uses the camera and you have to zap viruses in the air by moving the phone about. Wonderful concept, however the camera is a little dodgy.

Anyways that’s the cream of the crop. Aside from snake maybe…


  1. Anonymous13:05

    The possible worst mobile game has to be Monster Hunter Freedom because it is unpausable!!! Still you are actually on a hunt so having this feature actually improves it in a quirky way. Also is a great way of getting out of homley jobs,

    "Could you help with ......."

    No I can't I'm on a hunt. Excellent.

  2. Anonymous13:11

    Plop, mobile as in phone, not mobile as in on the move, anyway point still stands!

  3. Anonymous13:24

    I think you missed a couple of vital points there richie, which is the process of getting the game to the handset you have and whether it is optimised to run or not. I have an SPV C600, the best “Smart” phone on the market (whatever I don’t want to start a thread about this) and you know what? There is not a single game that is designed for it, there bastard thing won’t even play java games unless you create a specific folder/file name and put it in the right place in the directory!

    Seriously, why would I spend my money on something that is not optimised for my device, doesn’t utilise the hi-res screen and joystick control. Apparently the best match up are games made for the Razor or whatever it’s called, bearing in mind that my phone is built round Windows Mobile, you would think someone would support it.

    And you know what the pisser is? If you pay someone to unlock it then it has the capacity to run Quake for fucks sake!

    I don’t know, at least it has solitaire on it.

    Oh and Ancient Empires (1&2) is an excellent rip off of Advance Wars.

  4. Anonymous13:25

    Man I gotta stop moaning...

  5. Anonymous13:26

    No, really...

  6. I thinks its time you played Haunted Maze, you know cheer yourself up a bit.

    Ed Federmeyer, we salute you again

  7. Hang on! Why don't they make Haunted Maze for mobile phones? If it took Ed Federmeyer 3 weeks to make with a Net Yaroze back in 199whatever why can't they get the Fedster to come back and bring the world's greatest game to the "casual" mobile market?

  8. Yeah I got a windows mobile too, I hate the "little" fucker with a passion.

    Yeah it is more of a geeky phone, most other phones have java seamlessly integrated, however with this one you are meant to know about filesystems etc. but what you lack in games on that phone, you make up for with Excel and Word… Woop de doo.

  9. Anonymous13:56

    Man, you know you can get a mobile version of the Chaos Engine, that's one of my all time favorite games. God knows how impossible that would be to play!

  10. Anonymous14:00

    What the hell is Ed doing these days anyway? He should be running EA or something. I can't remember, did Haunted Maze load screens have stuff like "Have you tried moving yet?" Shit, maybe Ed was a Nazi. Ed are you a Nazi?

  11. And Chuff wins the That Guy's Godwin award.'s_law

    Congratulations Chuff, how do you feel?, how do you feel?

  12. Anonymous14:22

    And I would of gotten away with it too... etc etc



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