That guy's a Maniac...

Right well I promised a review of this bad boy A while ago, but it was postponed till Friday 14th July. I have now bought and played this title. This title was intensely anticipated as it is a Dragon ball Z game which was created in collaboration with the original Streetfighter II bloke. This game was originally released in Japan for the arcade machines and it was called Dragon Ball Chou. The Streetfighter II elements are quite evident in the game, the signature “Kamehameha” beam move is the same button input as Ryu’s Hado-ken, and they even gave Goku (the main protagonist of the series) a “Dragon Punch” with the same controls. And that’s is where the coolness ends. The moves don’t translate well to Dragon ball Z, pulling of a combo, feels to contrived, the other Dragon ball Z games seemed to have created a system which is more suited to the universe, with rapid, punches and kicks, rather than the SF II system of Light Punch/Kick, Medium Punch/Kick and Heavy Punch/Kick. Along with a

What will gaming in the FUTURE be like? In like the year 2010? Some kind of crappy flailing game to do with Arse-sassins is our prediction. Some media progresses but gaming will always be geared around pleasing folks who wear Metallica T-shirts and the like. Sad really.

Right well apparently there is a Radio site called WNAK . Excuse me while i mop the tears of laughter!

News just in. That Guyer Chuff_72 has just been busted by MR.GAME during a not-so-undercover operation. Tell it like it is Chuff... I just got busted in the name of That Guy's, trying to take a picture of the top ten in GAME, according to the resident retard it is apparently company policy, "because". Anyway I think it was something like this; 1. Cars 2. PotC Dead Man's Chest 3. Over the Hedge 4. The Wild 5. Stormbreaker 6. Winnie the Pooh 7. Trolls 8. Licenced Nikelodeon game 9. Licenced horse game 10.Sonic Advance Battles 2 (or something, yay Sonic Team) This is proof. Empirical proof that Mr.Game is up to something ITS A FUCKING COVER_UP. Commendable Chuff but don't give up now. This war has just begun! Look at those charts and lament.

We've just had brilliant news! On the back of our 69th post (see post 69) we've been offered the chance to make a That Guy's film by a big Hollywood Studio (That's all we are allowed to say). The title is That Guys's A Maniac - The Official Movie which is a brilliant title! WARNING SPOILERS It's going to be much better than Stay Alive and has been described as a bastard child of Dude Where's My Car/Road Trip/Freddy Got Fingered/Hackers/Lawnmower Man/Final Fantsy Advent Children/Rainman and Lolita. Here is the cast list Cunzy11 - Cunzy11 Richie - Richie Anonymous - That bird what played the Empress in Never Ending Story Chuff_72 - Freddy Prinz Jr. Dr.Wo. 69 - Angelina Jolie ChunkySalsa - Steve Buscemi Quadbee - Stiffler Guy Cocker - Ben Affleck Ed Federmeyer - Ed Federmeyer Sherry From Resident Evil 2 - Kate Beckinsale Marlene From FFVII - Tatu Monfuche - Sienna Guillory dressed as Jill Valentine It's going to be set in post 2005

Cunzy : So we made it this far. Not bad girl? Our 69th post what an auspicous occasion! It's been tough, real tough but we made it. What was your favourite post? Richie: My favorite and possibly most neglected ones is Geekonator2000, I feel that, that one should be continuously expanded on... But i fucking hate the Londonage posts what the hell was i thinking? Cunzy: Yeah that was a good one! I think my favourite post was this one . Because of the high quality of the comments and nothing at all to do with that filthy picture. No sir! I'm still writing my post to Mr.Game by the way! Richie : Lets not forget our commentors, we've had at least 5, Dr Wo, Chuff, Chunky Salsa, Quadbee. Do you remember the time that possibly a girl made comment on this post? Cunzy : Yeah! She was all like "Cunzy is a dick and Richie is god". I never suspected that it was you at all and I still don't! LOLLERCAUST! Favourite comment? Richie: It has to be this one for the "

Wow! Now instead of having to look it up on Wikipedia, you too can add a L337 signature to the bottom of every fucking forum you are on! Just type your text into the left hand box and your L337 will appear in the right hand box.

Funny things that can be done with the Wii's name: - Wii-tard - Wii-tarded - Wii-d - Pot-Pour-wii - Care to come round for some Wii and Scones - Vitamin-wii - Bachelors deg-wii - Courtn-wii Cox - Grand P-wii - Easy as A. B. Wii, 1. 2. Wii, Doe. Rae. Wii - Amput-wii - H. I. Wii - Wii-nis - Hepatitis-Wii - Rup-wii - Wii-nal Dialysis - Wii wii - Wii laddie - Wii Willy Winkie - Lavat-Wii - Wii-ness extra cold - I need a Wii - Can I see your Wii - Can I touch your Wii - Can I drug you and then put my Wii on you? - Hap-wii-ness - Eev-wii - Wii-ndows Xp - Wii-nal colony - Dry entry Wii-nal Justice - Final Fantasy Thr-wii - Wii-3PO - I can smell your Wii from the other room - Can I put my Wii in your X-box? - Wii-sa Gonna die? - Son-wii. Wii S Wii - Rich-Wii and Cunz-Wii-11 - Guitar Wii-ro - War-wii-oWare Inc. - Super Smash Bros Mel-wii - Resident Wii-vil

In an attempt to appease the recent surge of Girl Gamers:

For those of you who dont know, Sony recently released this Ad: And there was a shed load of controversy about the racial connotations behind it. Well apparently Sony have now apologised for this and withdrawn the advert. However the Guardian Gamesblog (See link on sidebar) has given me an idea: Controversy Sells, The guardian was talking about whet next campaign they will come up with next, offending religions? Well lets leave the racial offendingness aside, How else could Sony market this “ P retty S hit P roduct”? Ideas?

Here they are! With my got/need status Animal Crossing GOT Animal Crossing: Wild World NEED Deathtrap Dungeon GOT Demo One Awesome T-rex thing GOT Dino Crisis (not 3) GOT Dinosaur Hunting (not yet released) NEED Disney’s Dinosaur NEED Evil Dead Fistful of Boomstick GOT Jurassic Park GOT Jurassic Park 3: Dino Attack NEED Jurassic Park 3: DNA Factor NEED Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis GOT Jurassic Park: Warpath GOT King Kong NEED Parasite Eve 2 GOT Pokemon (All versions) DON'T EVEN WANT DEFINITELY HAVEN'T GOT Siberia NEED Siphon Filter GOT Star Fox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet NEED The Lost World: Jurassic Park NEED The Lost World: Jurssic PArk Arcade NEED Timesplitters GOT Tomb Raider 1, 2 & 3 GOT Turok: Dinosaur Hunter NEED World of Warcraft NEED WWF Smackdown 2 GOT Zoo Tycoon: Dinosaur Digs NEED There is also Power Rangers Dino Thunder which I refuse to include in this list and about 140000 other Jurassic Park spinoffs. Jurassic Park seems to have gone t

I fucking love (Non Avian) dinosaurs! Seriously! If I had to choose my top 5 fantasy mates it would be dinosaurs. If I could have sex with anyone dead or alive it would be dinosaurs ALIVE! And there is nothing I like more than dinosaurs and other extinct organisms in computer games. I mean serious dinosaurs NOT this shit or this shit . Here we go. Top however many I get to Greatest Dinosaur Games of ALL TIME 1. DINO CRISIS 1 & 2 Not 3 though because it has fake dinosaurs. Who would bother with making a game called dino crisis and then rendering fake dinosaurs. Anyway, you get to fight dinosaurs and pick up files bout dinosaurs like a Michel Benton book! The second one is better because you can run and shoot AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THAT IN RESIDENT EVIL 4! SPOILER Also, after being chased by T-rex through most of the game fucking Giganotosaurus eats it because it is bigger and some people still don’t even realise that T-rex wasn’t the biggest. Capcom are proper 1337 verteb

Right well I have been quiet for a while as I have been trying to write a definitive guide to Web-comics, and well… FUCK IT! There’s to many of them, I can’t even hope to try review/rate them, as there is a shed-load of shitty ones out there. I mean how do you review them? It’s like games, some of them are quite pretty yet are not funny/interesting/good. And some of the shitter looking ones are actually funny. You get my analogy? Anyways here is a few web comics we have come across God Mode Online VG Cats Little Gamers And here’s an archive of pretty much EVERY web comic you can ever hope to find/read: The Web Comic List

Penny Arcade is perhaps the most ridiculous web comic on the internet. The site is broken and the strips are lame. Their humour can be described at best as Canadian (see Something Awful for Canadian-o-rama). Also they clearly have copied this site. Putting a penny arcade cartoon on your site has become the new sticking two moist fingers into your anus. Girls (attractive and British) cannot and do not play games. It is a lie made up by guys who pretend they are girls online so that they can cyber for gold/gil/bells. WoW sucks. The only way to progress through this game is to spend a lot of time on this game, sure, this is true of all other games with the exception that other games are challenging. I bet there are more people at LvL60 on WoW than haave completed Super Mario Brothers 3. Because SMB3 involves things like jumping and not hanging around a hub. All the people who play RPGs are fat ugly goths or ex-goths anyway. Anime, and anime games, are stupid. Drawing a shit cartoon with

Awesome site! Basicly it is a list of reasons that people have quit WoW, I dont think I have found one invalid one! Link My personal favorite: Its said that 1 cigarette takes away 5 minutes from your life. Waiting for your raid to buff up takes 20 minutes. The conclusion is to stop WoW and start smoking.

From here "One of the criticisms that’s always been levelled at the ... [virtual world reporting done by Wallace and others] is that it takes these things too seriously. “It’s only a game,” is the constant rejoinder whenever we call into question the things that go on in these virtual spaces and how they are managed by the companies that run them... But, as we’ve maintained all along, it is not in fact only a game. These places are models for the kind of society we’ll live in, in the not-too-distant future. They’re worth paying attention to — close attention, since much of what happens in them has a direct bearing on the way we will live... [T]he societies that are developing in these places point the way toward the societies of the future, whether online or off. To a great extent, if you want to know how we will live tomorrow, look at the way we live now in a place like Second Life." In the immortal words of UK:R is it because you are shit at Tekken? If virtual socie

First off I have to apologise that this is a bit late especially if you want to enter, but GameFAQs yearly contest has started. In the past few years they have pitted Video game characters vs. other Video game Characters, and the most popular (most voted for) wins. This year however they have decided, instead of Characters vs. Characters, to do Series’ vs. Series’ i.e. popular franchises up against each other. Anyway from the extensive list I decided that after all the eliminations that Final Fantasy will win. Unfortunately I checked my entry today and, low an behold apparently Mega Man is more popular that Suikoden. Damn, already fucked up at the 1st hurdle.

Here was me thinking our site was shit Also look what I found on Richie's computer. Disgusting, dude she is like 8.

This month the “That Guy’s a Maniac…” Award goes to: “Brice Mellen” Right Straight up, he's blind! This kid (17) has been kicking ass at fighters and killing the non-sight impared gamers. Now apparently he does it all through listening... Quite a feat. However I really fucking like his attitude, He freaks out people by facing away from the screen, Brilliant! What I like the most is that he is gonna train for Video Games Design. As much as i am a fan of pretty games, most of the titles nowadays are beautiful yet souless, hopefully this guy will breathe some fresh air into game mechanics, if you get what i mean. Good luck in Design Brice, and Congrats you are a Maniac

Yes Kids! Once again, I get on my high horse and complain about things I have no right to be complaining about because I probably couldn't do any better. Today it is my favourite subject. Crates and Barrels! I wrote the funniest article ever here until some cunt wrote serious shit over the top of it. The only bit that is still mine is the bit under sources. This is what the regulator says after destroying the best piece of games related writing to ever appear on the internet : (Rework of page to remove subjectivity (sarcasm) and make conjecture obvious as such. Also reworked some phrasing to improve flow.) Mother Fucker! How dare you judge me! Also by "Reworked" he means "make boring like the rest of this shitty Wiki written by people who masturbate over pictures of broken PCs with bits coming out". Well, Mrs. Humorless here is my original article that you so callously deleted. First Use of Crates and Barrels Appears in: Every Game Ever

Today Nintendo announced WWi: Childbirth . The game, aimed at the female market, comes with a foetal attachment. Players then insert the controller, (umbilical chord) nunchuck and foetal attachment into the appropriate body cavity and then have to give birth within a time limit. On screen is a vaginal tearometer as well as an oxygen gauge for the baby. If the oxygen gauge reaches critical, players then have to wave the foetal attachment to get the baby to "wake up" or press the A button (ABORT) on the controller. If the vaginal tearometer reaches critical then players can attempt to stitch it up with a Wi-Fi connection to a special version of Trauma Center: Under the Knife. The Foetus attachment comes in a range of colours to match the range of colours for the controller. Whether or not a blue version has been considered is unknown at this point. This revolutionary game will give women who haven't yet had children an excuse to actually experience how painful childbi

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! There is no point in porn any more! There is game soon to be released called Battle Stadium D.O.N. This will end any need for sexual stimulation ever again! BS D.O.N. Is a cross over game for 3 Shonen Jump franchises, D ragon ball, O ne Piece and N aruto, please see the side bar for torrent links to episode of One Piece and Naruto, and Find Dragonball for yourself, just dont watch the original Japanese, the voices are highly irritating. Umm yeah, expect reviews soon, along with guides on how to masturbate at the same time as playing. Fuck you sex! we dont need you any more! P.S. Dragonball is divided into 3 series': Dragonball - 153 episodes. + 3 Movies Dragonball Z - 264 episodes. + 13 Movies Dragonball GT - 63 episodes. + 1 Movie

Ha! "You don't need to know the rules. Just touch and go" What an excellent Tag-line for a page called touch generations. If a computer game themed carry on film was ever made Nintendo would be Barbara Windsor, forever accidentally saying filthy things innocently. Saying that, there is nothing better than putting Jill in a corner and touching her up as the zombies get closer and closer. Oh, oh did I just type that?

I have had this "game" for well over a month now and well, despite what ANYONE says, this means you Gamer Blogs. The game is PISH*. The songs are repetitive, in theory it is just really fast space invaders with an incredibly awkward controller, and the unlockables suck. Reasons to hate guitar hero: 1) The controller makes you look Stupid, no adult holding a Fisher-Price Guitar can look dignified. 2) If you play it too long you get “guitar hero eye” where everything distorts due to looking intensely at the moving fret board. 3) The crowd goes “BOO”, and that bugs the shit out of me. 4) Anything above hard mode demands a definite lifestyle choice, where all you ever do is play guitar hero, practicing every fucking hammer-on and pull-off (hehe, pull-off). 5) Girls are better at it than me. P.S. Guitar hero doesn’t suck It’s a great game (Do me Harder Red Octane! HARDER! cum in my armpit) , I and just suck really bad it. *Pish - Scottish vernacular for

And so with the inevitibility of FPS including barrels, or any RPG having an ice level, England have been knocked out of the world cup. And I am happy. Not because I am one of those pseudo-neomen of the 0's who is so secure in his sexuality that he would rather go shopping with his girlfriend than watch football, or one of those people who complain about the world cup taking over everything. Respectively I would say to those people: 1) Give up mate because she isn't putting out even if you do pretend to give a fuck about whether her shoes match her toe-ring. The women of the 0's are characterised by only putting out to sleezes they meet whilst "finding themselves" in Cambodia. They aren't interested in knobbage that doesn't give them a great story to tell when they meet up with their similarly boring-but striving to be interesting girlfriends for their weekly lunch. 2) If you don't like football its because you were either a) Really bad at spo

I have decided to write a little review on this baby as I have just completed it after a year of not playing it, and I should note that it wasn’t the quality of the game, that make me not play it, it was that goddamn World of Warcraft, it came into my life and well, all my "other" gaming has suffered. Anyways, shall we? Devil May Cry 3 it’s the third in the series, but in name only, this game (at least plot-wise) is a prequel to the first Devil may cry. For those of you who don’t know Devil may cry, it is a 3rd person action game centred around “Dante” a sword and gun wielding half-human, half-Devil. This time round Dante is not the cool smooth anti-hero he was in the other games, he is a mouthy, angry fun-loving teenager, which is a very welcome change from “Devil May Cry 2”, where Dante appeared to have lost all of his quirky-ness and remained a virtually silent protagonist. Dante, to the non-devil-may-cry-aware, may seem a little cheesy, the concept of a demon in a re

So everyone and their dog is doing this at the moment thanks to this site here but what the hell. If you are going to steal them at least call your old lady Cunzy11 next time you bang her.

Here is my first ever review of Resident Evil: Deadly Silence written in the styles of some popular magazines. The HEDGE review "As I put the catridge into my DS there is a sudden tightening of my trousers. I put down the DS on my perspex limited edition Katamari table in my expensive North London penthouse squat and venture into the bathroom. I strip naked and watch myself in the mirror whilst fondling my manhood. I write for HEDGE, I write for HEDGe. The pummeling gets faster. I am new games journalism I pant. I'm going to lick it off, I'm GOING TO LICK IT OFF...OH.... NMmmmm. I replace my now flacid new games journalist member. I decide not to lick it off . That idea was madness. But I do write for HEDGE magazine- 7/10 " The Official Redendo Magazine review "This is perhaps the greatest version of Resident Evil on any console ever. The only resident evil game to feature a microphone and touchscreen. Can't wait for the Pi i version. If you like this you&

Now I have to admit it... I really like gamespot I love their reviews! and the Podcast is actually funny. But enough Arse licking! I was reading a cool article on "Top 5 games you haven't played but you should. " with some quite interesting stuff in there. And plus it scarily shows up how ignorant these guys are, and they are supposed to be the forefront in games news. However, and this may just be blatant jealously because these guys work for Gamespot writing articles for games for a living, the first article on the "Top 5 list of why we shoudn't work in the games industry" is written but a guy who has perhaps the FUNNIEST name i have ever heard EVER: Guy Cocker. Guy Cocker! the list of gay jokes are almost limitless! I feel like writing to this guy and making him do an article on "Top 5 gay jokes based on my name" That would be good reading! The second pleb to get interviewed for the "Top 5 reasons to not listen to the Gamespot UK reviews&

lWhew! I am alive. I wasn't dead. Here is what happened About a week ago there was an incident involving zombies in the outskirts of London City. During this incident my father was murdered so I went seeking vengeance with a big sword . After finding a pirate , who I thought was responsible, and beating him I learned that it was me who killed my father. I went mental for a bit and ended up wandering into a science facility . No sooner had I turned up than something happened transporting me to an alien planet . After what seemed like forever I was picked up by a passing ship . Upon arriving on earth I found out that my mother have died so I flew to my home town . After the funeral I stuck around and found out that the old hood was in a right state so me and my homies set about cleaning it up that was until a giant monster turned up. We eventually felled the foul beast and I went back to my house only to find it wasn't my house anymore. So I moved to a new house in a new cit

As a sort of follow up to this post , I’d like to give you guys a little insight to the “endgame” in WoW, or at least my view so far on it. As far as I can see there are really only 2 directions you can go in once you hit lvl60, the first is PvP and the second is to go raiding. So I have dabbled in a bit of both: PvP: This consists of doing Battle Grounds over and over. When you do battle grounds you gain two things Reputation and honour. You gain reputation with the faction you are fighting for the more you get of this allows you to buy cooler things from their vendor, usually armour and weapons. You gain honour for killing things in general in the game for any PvP activities including just killing a random player from the opposite faction. Honour is well complicated but essentially, your characters PvP activities are calculated every Wednesday morning for the whole week and you gain honour from it, as you proceed up the ranks, gaining more honour you are able to buy very cool armo

I was thinking right, with the invention of ePaper that there will be more and more and more need for regularly updated sites, so that people can check it whenever they want. And you know when do people want a quick read? In the toilet! And well I think we should corner this market and change our name to “That Guys a Maniac… why’d he bite me? Updated every time you go for a shit.” We may need some market research: How often do you expunge your bowels? What is your estimated reading time when making a deposit? Opinions?

Right you see this Smug bastard: He’s the fucking cunt responsible for the depraved filth seen on TV nowadays, and I am not talking about weird porn or snuff films I mean this fucking Advert . It’s disgusting sickening and I’m sure it can be linked to recent homicides in the UK. For those of you who care these are the lyrics: They’re gonna taste great They’re gonna taste great Tony (Cunt): Well everybody knows Frosties taste great. Even ladies who wait. Or a pi-rate. And you teenage brother who’s out on a date. If you live in Aus, Mate. Or the empire state. They’re gonna taste great They’re gonna taste great They’re gonna taste great Fuck you kellogs.

Yeah so today’s GameFaqs Poll is "Who do you think will win the next-gen console war?". For now we set aside the fact that this is blatant propaganda, and is unjustifiably fuelling the fires of hate for game systems every where. But let us also note the winner, or at least the current contender for winning. It’s the “Wii” by a whopping 45%. This really does seem promising people are seeing that although underpowered the games will be good. Well that’s one interpretation of it, of course it could easily be that its only morons who like the novelty of the wand controller. Or indeed GameFaqs could just be over-run with Nintendo fan-boys… Hmm I wonder. FYI: I voted for “I think they will all do well” not that I am middle-of-the-road fuck, but also because they all will do well. I have a feeling Xbox360 will get the finger out soon and drop the price, they also have Xbox live arcade which is brilliant, Sony will be a specced-out beast with Final fantasy’s Resident evils and

So you’ll probably have noticed that Cunzy11 is missing from That guys … Well that’s because he has gone AWOL, presumed dead. We’ll be tracking him down and we expect him extracted from whichever Circle of hell he’s got himself trapped in this time, soon. We’ll be checking Circle #7.3.2 first, as he usually ends up there…

Right well the Transformers live action movie. From the scraps I have found on the internet: 1. The main plot is that there are 2 humans (boy and girl, spewy romantic potential). 2. Bumblebee is not a VW Beetle. 3. Megatron is not a Gun, but a spaceship(?) 4. Soundwave will be a CD player. 5. There will be transforming Xbox360s and iPods. All this may sound shit, but check out the site : When it started up I think I came a little bit. And here’s a little MP3 to keep you going till July 2007.

Right so for a laugh I am doing an online Gaymers survey now, so far the test has been quite innocent, aside from the making me feel guilty for clicking “never” for things like “actively playing a part in your (offline) community” or “Contacting a local MP”. I have now reached page 2 and things are hotting up! “In Western societies, our culture tends to try to impose a binary categorization of gender, a socially constructed notion of what is feminine and what is masculine. Where would you place yourself on this continuum?” I won’t get bogged down in the semantics of “imposing a binary categorisation of gender” as I can’t really be bothered with the ambiguity of the statement! But what a brilliant question, needlessly wordy, might I suggest, “Do you consider yourself:” as an alternative to that question. The answers are almost as fantastic as the question e.g. “My concept of my own gender is not on this continuum.” Oh crap… “Have you ever been romantically or sexually attracted to a v

First of all, for those of you who don know, Bif Naked is primarily the main singer in the band "Bif Naked". But she has also been known to dabble elsewhere. Notably as the voice of Zoe from SSX Tricky, “ I can see my house from here ”. But had also starred in the terrible film House of the Dead , and had made loads of TV appearances, including Buffy: the vampire slayer. Anyway so for like the first time EVER Bif Naked has performed in the UK as a support act for some pishy band called Alterbridge . And well She played on Friday 9 th June at the ABC venue in Glasgow , So I paid my money just to see Bif Naked, and fucked off before crappy Alterbridge came on. Well, the gig was short , she played mostly new stuff but it was still awesome! However! No one knew her! I was gutted! A crowd of lifeless plebs all just staring blankly! I was RAGING! “APPRECIA TE THE BIF!” So on behalf of Glasgow I want to extend an apology for the MINDLESS PHILISTINES! And we a

In the small hours of Saturday night/Sunday morning I finally did it! I reached Level 60! After hours and hours of grinding , questing and farming I finally did it, My Mage hit Level 60! Let me take you through it: Me pointing at the "mob" that's gonna take me to level 60 Me hitting level 60! Me dancing on the remains of the "mob" If you are interested, or want to give me Gold/Items/Cybaaaaaaaar, my server is Runetotem, and I am a Human Mage called Richie….

He is actually still-a-fucking- alive . Ed, we're not worthy! We're not worthy. For those of you who haven't read this blog or played disc 12 of PlayPlusses (or Some old magazine) Demo Disc, Ed Federmeyer is a god. Do you remember Net Yaroze Playstations? They were black and people could program really shit games. They cost about 4 grand and for a while every magazine used to have a section on their demo disc with a selection of the same 9 homebrew "This is what you can do with Net Yaroze"games. Most of them were poor but one game, Haunted Maze , was head and shoulders above all games then and since. You played as a man in a maze..... anyway the best game ever, and whilst it loaded the game up it told you that Ed Federmeyer made it in three weeks. Even now when we have a get together at some point in the evening Haunted Maze goes on and it takes a force of nature to get it turned off, so we can carry on playing not-free, this gen games.

Well, yesterday I found this article (on Game Girl Advance , well you've got to pretend right? Whats the point of going online if you can't pretend to be a girl anyway), read all three posts, and thought WOW! They have kinda done what I mused about here . A great place for people to go and game in comfort, with leagues, big screens, spectators, games for sale usw. usw.! So I checked out the Game Time Nation homepage and it's been closed now for about two years. Nevermind. That's that experiment I can cross of my list of things to do.

Just as a follow up to Cunzys Letters to Mr Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo: I realised in some way each one of these companies is striving to get you to play the games that they want you to play: Example 1: Sony – Hmm, these are the least evil, however they pile out any shite possible on the system. Example 2: Microsoft – Quote: “Fuck back compatibility! You will only play our (Huge range) of new 360 games… Dicks.” Example 3: Nintendo – These guys are the worst! Not only are they fucking releasing what they feel like localising to Europe , but they also tell you how you should play it! Fuck that if I want to play Animal Crossing for 6 hours then not touch it for a month I will! Laters

Yeah that’s right, I am posting about Mobile games! As well, unfortunately I am an osmotic expert in this area. Now I know ‘gamers’ quickly dismiss mobile gaming, and quite rightly so, there is a myriad of terrible cash-ins, all because there are fucking retards out there that are willing to buy screensavers, wallpapers, ringtones and games based on fads (Crazy frog anyone). And all these fucking mobile distribution fucks do is charge it to their mobile accounts for a picture or a midi file, if anybody just realised the 90% of the phones out there have pc connectivity you could download a better jpeg/midi file and be slightly more individual. Conclusion if you EVER even THINK about downloading a ringtone from one of those FUCKING ADVERTS on music channels, you are a braindead fuck who doing nothing but contributing to the lowering of standards of media everywhere, YOU “SUN” READING FAECAL ABORTION! All that’s aside in amongst the shit there are actually some good games which are well

Ok so, yesterday was a bit ranty so here is some medicine to remind me why I bother. For years I’ve lived a double life. In the day I do my job, I ride the bus, Roll up my sleeves with the hoi polloi. But at night I live a life of exhilaration, Of missed heartbeats and adrenaline, And, if the truth be known, A life of dubious virtue. I won’t deny I’ve been engaged in violence, Even indulged in it. I have maimed and killed adversaries, And not merely in self defence. I have exhibited disregard for life, Limb, And property, And savoured every moment. You may not think it to look at me, But I have commanded armies, And conquered worlds. And though in achieving these things I have set morality aside, I have no regrets. For though I’ve led a double life At least I can say, I have lived. Still as effective now. Video here. Although almost everyone is naked in this vid.

Mr.Nintendo What the fucking fuck are you up to. You are the penultimate offender on my list but you re the worse. Simply I tell you: If you hate European gamers soooo much then don’t bother at all. Just fuck off. You re so bad that this genius has set up a site just to track how crap you are. Let’s examine your naughtiness. NES, SNES and N64. Okay these were alright despite the fact we only ended up with 30% of the games that came out in Japan and America but an impressive backlist nonetheless; Goldeneye, Super Mario everything, Killer Instinct, Zelda etc. (I say etc. but what I mean is that is it. Perfect Dark doesn’t count. It was terrible. It really was). You even managed to make Star Wars games good which was a first. Gameboy. King of handhelds, can’t be faulted still going kinda. Awesome right on dudes. Gamecube. This is where you stopped not giving a fuck about Europe and started actively hating it. The launch games came out two years after the console. Any original or good gam