Still Homophobes

You may remember last week I was disgusted with the way that Kotaku just can't handle comments from a woman and my account was banned. It appears that my appeal to the masses was heard and my account has been sort of reinstated [see above] but I still can't comment I can only clip articles and follow friends.

This is the suxxor because:

1) Following friends on Kotaku is like swapping spit in an HIV clinique. Just because you've got it doesn't mean you should only hang out with others who do. In fact you should do the opposite.
2) Clipping articles is not something that I would ever do. The only thing I want to do is to tell the Brian who lives in Japan to shut up about his boring life and give us more games news. I hate it when site administrators rise above their stations. Would you like it if the monkey stopped mid dance and started to give us a comment on how it is to be a monkey forced to dance to a grind box day in day out? No! Dance you fucking dance monkey.

In other gaming new [via Kotaku]:

Mass Effect has Space Opera 'tits' and lesbians! Great. Because the sci-fi nerds needed more pandering to. I don't mind about the lesbians. What does fuck me off is that scores of twats who think writing about videogames is important or constitutes a real job are going to cite this scene forever more. Just because fucking is hinted at and almost shown doesn't mean this game is any kind of milestone, or ground breaking or important. In fact from the video it justs looks childish and a bit hollywood. Has anyone else had sex? It's not like that at all. With the lights and the slow moving and the cheesy "Wow you were great!" afterwards. It's more like "God, for someone so skinny she is so heavy. Quick move her onto the bed. 1,2, 3. Heave! Okay, heads you go first, tails me first. We've got about two hours before we have to dump her on the green".
Pandering to geeks who aren't great in bed is what this is. It's like fucking guitar hero. You are shit at guitar in real life but good on Guitar Hero. So what? You realise that you look like a proper tit when playing real guitar right? You look ten times worse playing guitar hero. The same for mass effect I predict. You are shit at sexing in real life but you might feel a bit better if some blue alien bint tells you you were great in the game. Show this scene to any potential fuck buddy and you will instantly lose any shaggability you may have once had.
Also, lets face it, mass effect, for all intents and purposes is looking like Fahrenheit which had two lots of fucking in it. ONE OF WHICH, THE FEMALE "LEAD" WAS SEXING WITH A DEAD MAN. She even comments that he is "cold". Blue alien lesbo is a step backward from sexing a dead man. What happened to progress?

DON'T SEX THE DEAD MAN! If only you could warn virtual people in the past through screenshots!


  1. Anonymous05:51

    this could be the most entertaining blog on the internets, but they say the same can be said of all religions.

    mad props for discovering dacav's tetris track, it's an instant classic.



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