Giant DINOSAUR enemy Guitar Hero Speaks Yet Again: Assasin's Creed review

Hi kids. Part three of our fanboys rantings after this inspiring post by Richie!. Here is part one and two.

Chuff_72: There are no interiors in the game (well there are a couple but essentially all the buildings are just pretty boxes - there is also no interaction, you can't remove a plank bridge to stop people following you for example.)


Cunzy1 1: Because that would be gay and you'd probably like it and spend all your time in toilet cubicles getting rimmed and thus not buying more over hyped games.


  1. Anonymous10:54

    Cunzy1 1: Because that would be gay and you'd probably like it and spend all your time in toilet cubicles getting rimmed and thus not buying more over hyped games.


    I'll stick with buying the over hyped games.

    Your intellectual superior,


  2. Anonymous12:14

    Hello again, stupid.

    I see no fear, hatred, hostility, or prejudice towards homosexuals, or homosexual behavior or cultures in the previous post.

    Perhaps if you were more confident in your sexuality you wouldn't see attacks where there are none.

    Speaking as a non-homophobic heterosexual male in a loving relationship with a woman, my advice to you is: Be gay, be proud, enjoy your toilet cubicle rimming - It's ok, I won't judge you.

    Your attempted deflection of the point that you seem to know a lot about being gay and spending time in toilet cubicles being rimmed has been noted, however.

    Still your intellectual superior,


  3. Dear Boy trapped in man body.

    Despite words to the effect you consider yourself to be of the upmost intelligence I can tell from your unabated know nothing forum speak that you are in fact,dross of the earth.

    Also, your emphasis on your shambolic "loving relationship" highlights your own insecurity. Have you smoked the cock? Try before you buy.

    Also, blossoming your sister doesn't count as loving. It's just sick.

    Now go back to fapping over Halo novels until your fanboy senses tingle because someone called Master Chief feminine.


  4. Anonymous13:01

    It's just too easy.

    Firstly, your knowledge of toilet cubicles and 'rimming' says more about you than the people you attempt to insult :)

    Secondly, you unwarrantedly call me a homophobe to which I yet again point out the errors of your illiterate bumbling.

    I notice you managed to skip that bit somehow.

    Thirdly, you allude to me being 'dross of the earth' for doing nothing more than make you look like an complete arsehole - I have to say, this is just uncalled for.

    (Also, there was no emphasis made by me regarding my relationship with my Mrs., only the imaginary emphasis you decided to put on it in a failed attempt to make your pathetic arguments work).

    By this time, as you didn't have a leg to stand on, you thought it wise to advise me to 'smoke a cock' .

    I'll have to say no thank you to your 'cock-smoking', I'll leave that activity to you and Richie while I play my fave over-hyped videogames.

    PS. You shouldn't really type out loud (metaphorically speaking) about what you and your sister get up to.

    Your intellectual superior, (even more so now),


  5. Oi! Dont drag me into this. Clearly the sexual tension between you two is electric. I dont want to ruin the mood.

  6. Yeah I guess I'm making it too easy for you. You must be laughing yourself wet!! It's nice to laugh at your own wit.

    Secondly read the rest of TGAM. It's an honour to be called Homophobic. It's a tradition. But we'll make a special amendment for you. Homophile.

    I called you dross of the earth because you are smug at your ability to whinge on and on like some kind of internet cliche. I'm not to sure about you making me look like an asshole. You want to buy over hyped games and seem happy about it. It's people like you that keep the bar low in terms of gameplay etc. You just buy it because you are told to. Nice work asshole.

    You mentioned your "Mrs" . that was emphasis enough. You know, just to clarify to everyone* that you weren't gay. Which was uneccessary. Also, I'm not arguing. There's no point to argue. What are you arguing for? Is it your sexuality? Why do you have to argue if you are so secure.

    I didn't advise you to I asked if you have. You haven't answered yet. You managed to skip that bit.

    Cunzy1 1

    P.S. Oh Lollercaust. Your sister more like ha ha ha. Oh and P.S goes after the rest. Prick

    P.P.S Shut up Homophobe Richie

    *Me, you and Richie.

  7. Anonymous13:42

    Oh dear.

    Actually, I wasn't laughing at my own wit: I was laughing at you, and still am (and will be even more by the end of this post). :)

    You called me dross of the earth not for some 'smug ability', but simply because you called me a homophobe when I didn't actually display any homophobic attitude or tendencies (and then when that point was made to you , you didn't have anything to fall back on other than name calling). Oh, the humanity.

    I didn't actually mention my 'Mrs.' until *after* you had claimed of emphasis. You're not very good at this reading/comprehension thing at all are you? I think I had clarified I wasn't gay when I wrote in the previous post 'Speaking as a non-homophobic heterosexual male in a loving relationship with a woman' or was that something you missed?

    Also, I didn't actually say you were arguing did I? If you look up 'argument' in the dictionary, you may find:

    3b. A topic; a subject:

    Yet for some reason you seem to think I'm arguing - no, I'm just proving you wrong, again & again.

    So! Vocabulary practice for you as well :)

    And yes, you *did* advise me to 'smoke a cock' when you typed 'Try before you buy'. I suppose that may infer something *completely* different in Cunzy language though, such are your lack of skills with English reading, comprehension and vocabulary.

    And yes *again*, I did answer when I typed 'I'll have to say no thank you to your 'cock-smoking'. lulz.

    That's a 'no', just in case you're having any further difficulty understanding.

    For fuck's sake, I've met a lot of stupid people on the internet, but you're on another level :)

  8. I know you weren't laughing at your own wit because you don't have any. Your wit extends to you saying "You more like" and then thinking you've justified your point. Which, is another example of your stupidity. Soon your stupidity will have it's own wikipedia page.

    You are saying I called you dross of the earth because I called you homophobic even though you aren't? Oh, you are sorely mistaken. You are dross of the earth. Fact. But when I did accuse you in the first instance it was because of your know-nothing-forum-speak. Learn to read and comprehend.

    So your girlfriend is different to your Mrs? Wow you must be really straight. Well done. Sorry to cause you confusion. I'll try to make things less ambiguous for your tiny mind to process in the future.

    You may think you clarified it because you say you are heterosexual and you are in a relationship with a woman. You have then gone on to say that you've never tried it (so you could be). Just because you said something doesn't make it true. Perhaps it's this gullibility that makes you believe what you read when Game Company X says "our game is great you must buy it".

    Also, Michael Barrymore was married to a woman but still gay so that doesn't wash dicklips.

    I see you've gone for looking up a dictionary to define words as a form of counter point. A classic technique for proving a point on the internet. Wow, you must be sure smart to look up words I bet you were really good at school. What are you now? A doctor in tautology? And you haven't proved me wrong in this topic/subject (because it isn't an argument) at all.

    1)Assasin's Creed is still mediocre.
    2)You still claim to like over hyped games. Which, is retarded. You keep saying you like games on the grounds that they are over hyped. You must have loved Driv3r then.
    3)You are still wailing on about not being gay despite what everyone knows about you. Stop trying so hard to convince yourself and everyone else. You will be much less of a jaded horrible jealous little man if you just accept yourself for what you are.

    So you haven't smoked a cock? Why not? How do you know you don't like it? Are you afraid? Do you not like it? Homophobe.

    You're still not getting it are you? Your arguments are flawed. You're like a broken record full of truisms. You've only managed to convince yourself that you think you aren't gay. Everything else has been cyclical arguments only true because you said them and you said them because they were true.

    Go back to school and get a GCSE in English, specifically persuasive writing. Then come back. No scratch that, you are hilarious stick around. It's like watching a dog chase it's own tail.

  9. Anonymous20:18

    LMFAO how much do you want him to be gay? Is that what it is love? None of the boys fancy you because they're all 'gay'? :D

  10. There has to be some reason why the men won't give me a meaningful relationship.

    My biological clock is ticking down!!!!

  11. Anonymous11:52

    The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have ignored most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn't
    really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering.
    But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this
    world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this
    was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to
    what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like
    parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
    emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a
    demand on you.

    On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
    deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone sex operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimous galactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't bother opening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime your way out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you.


  12. "Normal" people don't try so hard to be right in the squalor that is TGAM. It highlights that you have many defficiencies in your life that you write long comments in the Flametard101 tradition, yet think you are being clever and original when your epic "flame" is ripped straight from the internet. Speaks volumes about you. You can't even be bothered to come up with an original insult if you can just find one on google.

    Like you say it's like "sort of like parking in a handicap space". Yet here you are, hanging out with the spazzes.

    If you just need someone to talk to, to feel superior, just get a dog. Who knows, with training they may even lick your mangina for you.

  13. Anonymous12:30

    Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view, you fat ridiculous carnival freak.

    If your blog is intended as a joke, you've forgotten to include the punch line. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication.

    Your latest discharge of plebeian verbiage; in which, you have proven, once again, that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense. Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect your computer from the Internet.

    You see, the Anti-Moron™ software on my PC went crazy when I found that you were posing as a female on your profile - and that's really clever & original, eh?

    If there's an idea in your head, it's in solitary confinement. You are obviously suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing?

    You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? Hanging out with the spazzes? Thanks, but if I wanted to hang out with somebody with your IQ, I'd be at my local supermarket talking to the vegetables. I'd rather pass the world's largest kidney stone than read another post from you. No, 'laughing at' are the words you were looking for.

    Apparently this thread has caused the most hits you've ever had on your page. It must be amazing to feel relevant for once in your life.

    You have that certain nothing. Truly, you are about as interesting as watching a slug move slowly across a large rock. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet, or, better yet, suicide. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn't eat all those paint chips and lead pencils when you were a kid; if your weren't so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge would collapse if you ever tried to go Bungee Jumping off of it, or if you didn't have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. No, come to think of it, you would.

    Now, climb onto that Special Needs tricycle of yours with the fourth wheel attached for extra-ensured retard stability and pedal your fat ass down to the sports field and do some “outdoors” stuff for a change.

    In closing, I suggest the next time that you feel an urge to embarrass yourself and bore others, that you summon all your might, and resist.

  14. Anonymous13:36

    It has to be said that i think you are arguing with yourself. And if you are a Cyber Tranny and have 'outed' yourself for the sake of this little moment of cyber psycho breakdown then that is stunningly retarded. And after having a quick scan over your 'blog' it seems you have more than a passing obsession with dinosaurs. Was jurrasic park fapping material for you? Is Ross Gellar from friends your idol? Dinosaurs are dead. Consoles are shit and are marketed at people too cheap to buy a high end gaming rig.
    I really hope that it is a real person that flamed you, if not, there is surely decent psychiatric care out in the purple skied planet you live on with your dinosaur boyfriend.
    Good Luck with that,
    Peace out

  15. Are you still here? Impressive considering you hate it so much. Do you waste all of your life complaining? Chill out guy.

    I am a bit dissapointed that you still can't think up your own insults. Just try once without using google. You might find it liberating.

    I like the way you whinge about how boring and stupid it is here, yet once again, here you are showing the other three people that read this that you are most "clever" with your internet ripped insults. It's a shame because you were so creative at school yet it's come to this. I also like it that you think responding to you makes TGAM "relevant". Get over yourself. None of this video games stuff is relevant.

    Your anti-moron software joke was really funny. Nicely copied and pasted. I presume you are building up to an OSD joke next. Classic. You should get a job writing for college humour you're that funny. That was sarcasm by the way just in case your Detect-Sarcasm software isn't up to scratch. Ho ho. I made that one up myself!

    As for the gimp who can't stand consoles, Wow! that is a fresh perspective on video games. Enjoy spending all your allowance on "hi end gaming rigs". No one will think you are a sad twat at all. Not for a second. I can also tell you that it isn't a real person "flaming" me. It never was.

  16. Anonymous17:11

    Wow! It looks like all of QA are here. Working hard ladies?

  17. Yeah, it's no wonder mobile games are so shite.

  18. Anonymous18:54


  19. Anonymous10:24

    Here Cunzy - Ah pumped yer maw last night.

  20. Anonymous10:30

    Maw maw? From Micro maniacs? Dude...

  21. Anonymous10:36

    Cunzy, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

  22. Hay gays.

    None of that's really relevant is it. We all know the burning question is who would win in a fight between Lara Croft, Master Chief and Paperboy.


  23. Anonymous10:53

    Still pretending to be a woman then Cunzy?

  24. So, we went a long way around it but we all agree that Assassin's Creed is enjoyable but could have delivered more?

  25. This comment has been removed by the author.


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