Second Zzzzzzzzzz

Avatars. We love them and upcoming releases like Spore and LittleBigPlanet fill us with excitement. Customising avatars is fun. It's even better when you play against, or with, someone else. They're funny things. Some people are happy with understatement and can fully relate to a man in white underpants and black boots. Other people go crazy to get as far away as possible from the classic humanoid avatar. Here at TGAM we've been making avatars since V-Rally 2. Ok, so you could only enter your name and it would appear on the license plate of the car but that little difference made the game so much more fun. Next, was probably Quake 2 which would let you enter your name and choose a colour. Again, not a massive jump but it made a difference. For me WWF Smackdown 2 was the next big milestone. We went crazy creating our avatars and I still remember my character Zombie1 1, who for a while was dressed exactly the same as Ash Ketchum from the pokemon series albeit he was a 6ft blue zombie. I also have fond memories of my WWF women's champion 'Farley the rapist'. Along with the other members of Catch The Monkey and Other Games B69, 'Dr Wo 69's Cow Pie head', Blinko's 'Lord of Crap Legs', Robisgay's Hairy Mclarey and the unstoppable combination of Reno and Craig Hardy. I can remember the highs and lows of the careers of the characters we used to play endless seasons with. Nowadays with Animal Crossing, the Sims and a plethora of other customisation-focused games, character customisation almost comes as standard, if not it is often noted by it's absence.

Which brings me to my main grumble. In recent years there have been many one line art exhibitions or publications showcasing people and their avatars. Which is great. City of Heroes and World of Warcraft are often featured. The new Home avatars and Miis are also bound to make an appearance. Robbie Cooper's Alter Ego, now a book, was some well crafted stuff. What really gets my goat though is all the Second Life stuff like this 13 most beautiful avatars, a somedy something Any Warhol zzzzzzzzzzzz. There have been hundreds of these Second Life avatar jobbies from Uncanny Valley to the most recent 13 most beautiful avatars shabang. Now this is all great, it's good that these kinds of expos are going on, but MOST SECOND LIFE AVATARS LOOK LIKE SECRETARIES. All the possibilities for customisation, you could be a dragon, a beaver, or a panda robot being driven by a little panda and yet many of these bandwagon expos and news articles focus on the metaverse of secretaries. Check here again (Wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, would, wouldn't [Homophobe], wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, might, btw). Most beautiful? Most beautiful? Most generic more like. So here is TGAM's 10 most beautiful avatars from "it's been ruined since people from outside of San Francisco have joined in" metaverse chatroom Second Life.

Yeah, I know that they are just taken from the outdated 2nd look site but these 10 avatars are more beatiful than 100 generic secretaries. From top left to bottom right: Big samurai women, Banjo worm, Titty mermaid, snoopy, hello kitty, patchwork lady, white man, baby seal, middle seal, fat seal. And all woulds except middle seal.

So please, go about your own second life business as you wish, be a secretary if that is what you want but for all the people out there doing meta-verse expos because you were never that good at art, more of an art historian if your degree is to be taken seriously, but it's easier to take screenshots or to just ask people for their screenshots, then please try to not do another 20 most beatiful secretaries skit. We've all seen people who look like secretaries but we've never seen a banjo playing worm or a ginger samurai women. Also, can we all stop pretending to use second life for more than just cyber sex. We all know that everyone in Second Life are retarded fatsos or 10 year old boys so lets drop the pretense. Okay?

Nooch Cunzy1 1