That guy's a Maniac...

I was in WHSmiths in Waterloo Station on Saturday, I won't bother you with why, and I spotted one of the local newspapers with the same headline as the title of this post. Turns out, the newspaper surveyed some of the Thames yoofs and they said they preferred playing outdoors to playing video games. Firstly, the survey is a bit pointless because, through no fault of their own, children are essentially stupid small adults. I imagine that most children would prefer to spin around in circles until they threw up rather than go to school. I reckon they would also prefer to play videogames than eat vegetables too. For some reason these surveys (I know they are out there) never seem to make the headlines. Secondly, no fucking shit! I'd prefer to play outdoors if I couldn't play games like Resident Evil 4 or GTA: San Andreas because of the ratings. Also, I'd go further than playing outdoors, if I was stuck with playing shitty multiformat pixar/disney/other CGI film maker t

Cunt vagina vaginal wnaky wnak gay ghey penis cock cocker queer Jill sandwich self-gay homophobe twat prick pish poof misty annelid cybaar faecal abortion tits breast mammaries marvin wicky-wa Barry koffing lvl60. Look it might not be that shit

Well Well Well! Looks like thumbbandits decided to take my Claire post and make it rubbish. P.S. Does anyone else find this picture arousing? I mean she has no top on, and is holding the joystick in a rather provocative area.

THAT GUY’S A MANIAC: THE MOVIE Screenplay By Ray Cortana and Hugh V. Brown PART 1 EXT-SAN FRANCISCO 2026 An American high school of the future. Flying cars drop children off at school. Some of the children arrive by jetpack. The children are wearing androgynous silver boiler suits. Some of the children are playing sports in the background with “virtual” equipment. All of the buildings are covered in white plastic. A futuristic alarm sounds and the children run to class PART 2 INT- CLASSROOM Children enter the class room. LEON, a tall boy, sits down at his desk whilst chatting to SHARONA. MR. FREEMAN enters the classroom slamming the door behind him. The children go quiet. MR.FREEMAN writes “Digital culture 101” on the Holoboard using a futuristic Wii controller. He then writes “Resident Evil” and underlines it. MR.FREEMAN Okay, who can tell me about Resident Evil? LEON looks hesitant and raises his hand MR.FREEMAN Leon. Please enlighten your classmates LEON Resident Evil was a series o

Broken all broken. I'll fix it soon though so don't worry. Can you believe it? On the upside though you can see all the alt text. As a really boring game you can guess what the images were from the text and see if you were right when it gets fixed! P.S. Don't forget to delete me when you are done.

Fed up of the male-centric glut of gaming magazines featuring scantily clad women draped over the hood of an Xbox 360, That Guy's are launching a girl gaming magazine to cater for women who play video games and are proud of it. The first edition of the magazine, called Pads (working title), should be out Q4 this year. Here is a sneak preview of one of our articles: Are you and your non-gaming boyfriend compatible? Answer the following questions noting your answer then add up the points to find out if you and your non-gaming boyfriend/girlfriend are compatible: 1) You settle in for an evenings session on Burnout (your "clan" came over at the weekend and busted some of your top scores) and your boyfriend unexpectedly comes home early from working a late shift. You offer to turn the Playstation off, but he says he doesn't mind, he's tired anyway. Does he then: a. Sit with you asking questions about the game b. Sit down for five minutes huffing and puffing bef

Dear Mr Capcom, I am writing to inform you of a major error that I think your publishing department may have missed. Resident Evil 4 has been inappropriately named as it, indeed is not the fourth in the series. Without counting any of the gun survivor or Outbreak games there has been 6 major Resident Evil games. So for the sake of continuity we at thatguys.co.uk would like you to arrange the games in the following manner: Resident Evil Zero. Resident Evil 0 Resident Evil. Resident Evil. Resident Evil 2. Resident Evil 2. RE: Code Veronica . Resident Evil 3. RE 3: Nemesis Resident Evil 4. Resident evil 4. Resident Evil 5. We would appreciate a worldwide recalling of all games/cartridges and re issuing of the games in a correct manner, Nooch n’ Hugs, That Guys P.S. Itchy, Tasty... P.P.S Do Resident Evil outbreak on the DS this time properly with the online working

A lot of people regard music in games quite highly. Personally I think that recently Music has gone downhill in games I know for a fact that I’m bored shitless with the WoW music, and the only good track in Oblivion is the opening track. You would think if games like these are willing to fork out for a fully orchestrated score they might as well get a decent fucking composer in! Now I’m sure we are all well versed with the classic theme tunes that stick in our head Mario, Sonic, Bubble Bobble, oh god Tetris. But what was the last epic score you heard on a game that you loved? That’s right Final fantasy VII, VIII IX and X. All done by a fucking awesome composer Nobuo Uematsu . But of course that’s all changed now FFXII does not have him as the composer. So what I’m pondering is will the game be just as good, does music have a factor with the gaming experience, or is it tacked on to fill the silence. When it comes to PC gaming thankfully we get the option to mute the sound and ru

Hey y'all! As we are told by Microsoft that gaming is a lifestyle and not just sitting on your ass all day pretending you are a woman charged with the grand task of saving the universe by collecting rings/coins/pearls/gems or whatever. As such, I like to spend my non-gaming time talking about gaming, writing about gaming, listening to game theme tunes on my ipod with Dante stickers on it, reading about games or playing "house" with Vincent Valentine and Aeris (not Aerith) action figures. When I'm not doing that, I download GMVs, formerly lumped with AMVs until evanescence and the Naruto guys sued AMVs for over use of their IP. There are some monumentally shit ones out there, but here are some of my favourites. Why I am I reviewing them If I've already stated they are my favourites? Because I hate some of them but that's why I love them. "I'm An Asshole" - Halo Music Video with Denis Leary This imaginitively titled GMV is actually very good. The s

I'm sure someone has written something about this somewhere else but hey! Who cares about them. Now, as much as everyone laments about online etiquette or lack thereof, there is also such a thing as offline etiquette. I don't mean treating NPCs nicely or anything, jeees that would be terrible. But this issue recently came to light when my good buddy and old skool CatchtheMonkeyandOtherGames B69 member, Robisgay and his lovely girlfriend moved into my house. You see, he plays games which is great but also terrible because the rules of offline etiquette don't tend to cover such situations very well. Let me explain: When playing multiplayer games, regardless of skill level or experience, your gaming chi is directly affected by which player you are. Player 1 Player 1 has excellent gaming chi, master of the menu screens and ideally placed in the top left corner of the screen in split screen games and on the left, from the start of the round, in beat 'em ups. Even in gam

Yeah so for the past week or so you may have noticed that That guys has been in a state of flux. Well we have it sorted now and up and running! Sorry to all of those loyal fans who have missed their That guys fix. FYI: All the other homes That Guys has had: http://iamanicepersontoknow.blogspot.com/ http://iamanicepersontoknow2.blogspot.com/ http://totko.blogspot.com/ http://tgamaniac.blogspot.com/ Sorted.

As if there weren't enough tits and cunts in WoW already.

Oh shit! For anyone who is interested in games and on the internet you have probably by now learned that E3 is getting downgraded or something. Well paint me yellow and call me supersonic if I'm not over the fucking moon about it! As much as I love to download shaky-cam videos of fat Americans saying "So like so like so like totally awesome" (we don't have the proper internet in Britain so we have to save everything to VHS) I couldn't give a monkeys about E3. Here are this years highlights as I have observed them... 1) Reggie Sans Amie telling everyone how to play a fucking Zelda game. Oh really, the big button? Mental. 2) Over 200 hours of FMV sequences for sequels to popular games giving absolutely no insight into what the actual game may look like or how it plays. 3) More Sony lies, but the new Motorstorm video was pretty amazing. Not since MGS on the playstation has terrain been so realistially modelled in real time! Those footprints in the snow were a

6Gun 2 - Developer - BattleBorne Entertainment Ahahahahahahaha Avalon - Developer - Climax Studios Ahahahhahhah Dark Sector - Developer - Digital Extreme Ahhhhahahahahahahaha The Darkness - Developer - Starbreeze Studios Ahahahahahahahahaha Devil May Cry 4 - Developer - Capcom Aha. What? Seriously........ EA Sports Fight Night Round 3 - Developer - EA Chicago Ahahahahaha Eyedentify - Developer - TBA Ahahahahahaha Fifth Phantom Saga - Developer - Sonic Team Ahahahahaha Final Fantasy PS3 - Developer - Square Enix Ah. What? No way. LIES Sony LIES Formula One PS3 - Developer - Developer - SCE Studios Liverpool Ahahahahahahahahaha The Getaway PS3 - Developer - SCE Studios Soho Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha Heavenly Sword - Developer - Ninja Theory WOOT!! I-8 - Developer - Insomniac Games Ahahahahahahahah Infraworld - Developer - Quantic Dream Ahahahaahahhahahha Killing Day - Developer -

Yet another weird sextoy add-on for the iPod . Is there really a market for this type of thing? Does timing of music really make a difference? Do Apple endorse this sort of thing? Do we have a female That Guys reader to review this? Do we have a female That Guys reader? Wait... I had a thought... If Lily Allen bought this and listened to herself whilst using it is that not like Self-Gay-Cybaaa Version 2.o? Either that or she can go fuck herself.

We love video games (or computer games as they are known). Be they epic sprawling adventures such as Ed Federmeyer's Haunted Maze or pick up and play wonders such as World of Warcraft. The hardware developers sometimes go out of their way to enable us to play all our old favourites on the newest generation so we don't have to own all the previous generations in order to pwn some classics. OR do they? Let's take a look at how Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo regularly shaft gamers for more cash. Sony Sony is hard to keep track of, especially with the PS3 lies which, have been covered here and elsewhere. Nonetheless, here are some golden oldies... PS1 Games - You can play all your PS1 games on the PS2, which is great but you do have to use your old Playstation1 Memory Cards in order to save games, which, are rapidly becoming an E-bay acquisition. Multitaps. Sony stiffed everyone when the other two ports for controllers magically dissappeared from the PS2 a similar thing seems to

To highlight the meaningless analysis of video games from people who claim to be gay, feminist, humanist, masculinists, journalists we have compiled a list comparing game developers and producers to female genitalia. It is about as relevant. Rockstar The Rockstar vagina would be huge but look a bit grubby if you looked in detail. Also everyone you know has played it Midway The controls aren't in the book, they are impossible to control and not even the fucking developers know how the fucking thing works. But if you bought the game for £5 you can't complain Capcom Absolutely top quality! But then a bit like vagina you've had before other times. Ed Federmeyer They would be simple to play, hard to master and wouldn't smell like a Chinese fish market in the morning in the morning. EA The EA vagina would be like a hysterectomy vagina, fun to play but ultimately pointless. Blizzard It would be massive, but the gays would have trouble getting in. (It woul

Well it had to end but Autumn is upon us (it rained yesterday), this summer has been unusually rife with exciting news. Normally, summers are long and boring on the games front with dribbling pieces of crap news like another Armoured Core game announced and Nintendo releasing a new edition of one of their consoles. Here's the summer round up: Leeroy Jenkins Video "fake" Nintendo Revolution to be renamed Games are art Girls play games! Child-killer once played Ridge Racer Games make you fat PS3 launch date brought forwards to three weeks ago Blizzard bans heterosexuals for inherent un-PCness Take Two sued for Grand Theft Auto London WoW expected to "take off" says lesbian programmer who did the letterboxes in Paperboy Another rubbish "media culture" author spends four years in second life promoting a free version of a very boring book with a shit cover Tekken 6 looking great Sega ends the Dreamcast Half Life 2 disappoints again RE4 "quite good"

This weekend I had two longish train journey's and a lot of waiting time so naturally the DS got a lot of love. Desperately trying to complete some of the games 100% for the Big List I ended up completing Sonic Rush with Blaze and Sonic (need to get the Zone 7 Emerald which is fiendishly hard), beating Resident Evil Deadly Silence, again as well as completing a number of Mario Kart DS Grand Prix. What I was stupidly happy about is that each of these games comes up with a message after the credits. Thanks for Playing (MKDS), Thanks for playing Congratulations (SR) and Wow what a tough guy (REDS). Now whether I just haven't been busting a lot of games recently or whether games have stopped saying Thanks for Playing! I don't know but it seems like ages since I've seen that. In fact if I was to go on EDGE online I would set up a thread on "When did games stop saying Thanks for Playing?". I would then have to post the first response "Fuck off prick"

...So this is post 100 and in order to celebrate the That Guy's crew, friends both old and new got together in WoW. Here is a log of the latter part of the evening. This post is by no means too long and not at all too hard to follow - Cunzy1 1 says - No, but you haven’t seen the Krabby’s! Richie laughs at Cunzy1 1 Quadbee says - I don’t get it…? Robisgay says - I always wondered what the beginning of that joke was Cunzy1 1 says - I kind of made it up Cunzy1 1 says - So the weather? Chuff_72 says - What up fools! Dr.Wo 69 snickers at Cunzy1 1. Chuff_72 blinks at Dr.Wo 69. Richie laughs at Chuff_72 Quadbee blinks at Cunzy1 1 Cunzy1 1 says - …….. Richie smirks slyly at Chuff_72. Quadbee says - So, lets go on a raid? Robisgay says - You want to go on a raid? Surely we should just hang around here. WoW is a platform not a game Robisgay says - Self-Gheye Dr.Wo 69 says - Gheye. Cunzy1 1 says - Homophobes Chuff_72 says - Gheyes Chuff_72 says - Homophobes Richie says - Homophobes Quadb

Right well, as you know I play WoW, and I am also a fan of playing later at night so that I can do some solo farming/questing without as many geeks hounding me for Help/Gold/Water/Food. But the downside is that, if you pay a visit to any of the Major Cities, the freaks are out looking for Cybaaaar etc. I have been approached to cyber someone for Gold (freaky WoW prostitute) and frequently I have seen on General Chat things like, Female Gnome Looking for BF . As I stated before I find this sort of stuff sad. I think it is inevitable though, due to WoW being a “Full-time” game as such RL doesn’t get much of a look in, and well people need their “releases”. Now to make things sadder, I stumbled across this site Now I want to do something funny so I have registered my Character. Now what I want the reader of that guys to do is suggest a few answers for the following questions: What do you do for fun? Favorite things? Whats the last thing you read? Personally I was hoping for more questi

Ummm, apparently americans pay money for kids to teach them how to use their Joysticks: Weirdos

Yeah so GameSpot are giving a Kodos shout out to Scottish Game show videoGaiden. and Guy Cocker's interviewing. Not interesting really, short of the fact that Guy Cocker is the interviewer, and that he has a funny name. So I suppose i should pad this post out a bit. hmmm Oh yeah. videoGaiden is Scottish and is better than all other video game shows out there, apart from Games master, but then that of course had Dominic Diamond, again Scottish. Are we seeing a theme here people? Here it is in leet speak. Scotland pwns The English Scotland > The English etc.

Whilst digging through bumph for the Big List I found this image. Ahh! The Sims. Here are some of my favourite images from the street I used to have. If I were to name some of the images like episodes of Friends , I would call them: The one where everyone burned up because there were no exits or furniture only fireworks machines. The other one where everyone burned up because there were no exits or furniture just fireworks machines. The one with the baby. The one when social services took the baby away. The one with the sad clown (HATE that sad clown). The one with death. The one where death takes Mary Jr. The one where the neighbour soiled the leopard skin in the toilet. The one with the zombies. The one where the neighbour was caught red handed. The other one with the fire. The one where the firefighters turned up a smidgen too late. DISCLAIMER If you found any of today’s post offensive, immature, sexist, racist, homophobic, heterophobic, xenophobic, not to your liking, not

Yeah, but definitely Would though. P.S This is sooo borind. UPDATE: She looked much better in the old picture. A lot less Chyna.

As most people know friends/family can really eat into your game playing time, and none more so than kids. Xbox 360s are now including the below h andy guide, printed on every plastic bag, on how to dispose of those pesky kids. As you are recycling the bag its good for the environment too!

We here at That Guy's have been working on a project to compile a big list of all the games we have to see how many of them we have completed awarding half a point for completing the game on normal settings and another half point for completing secondary objectives like unlockables, multiplayer skins, medals, 100% etc. There are over 150 games so far, and growing, but at the moment there are only a handful of games with the completed whole 1 point so morally these are the games we can rant about because we've played them through. Now, here's the Science/Sad (as if this project wasn't sad enough already) part, these are the games... Call of Duty 2, Colony Wars Red Sun, Def Jam Fight for NY, Fahrenheit, Grand Theft Auto III, ICO, Jurassic Park Warpath, Lego Star Wars, Mario 64, NHL 2001, Nightmare Creatures, Pokemon Colosseum, Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, Star Wars Battlefront, Timesplitters 2 and Tomb Raider 2. There are some pretty big ones missing from that list an

We love lists still. Today, what qualifies as something like the sixth list today: Excuses people use for playing games other than to fill up recharge times between masturbation: 1) To improve hand-eye co-ordination ( Presumably for imporved masturbation) 2) To find true love ( = Porn you can touch i.e Masturbation vessel) 3) To learn a different language, although I am suspicious of such claims I have learnt Chargement, Caricamento, Ladt, Laden and Cargando and Falso Crash (thanks Crash Team Racing) 4) To socialise with family online ( To cyber your sister/brother and not get charged) 5) To experience things you couldn't in real life ( ok ) 6) To experience being another gender ( To self-gay masturbate over your very own night elf doing a sexy dance) 7) To have fun ( ok ) Also as everyone and their dog has "discovered" Girls play games, therefore, girls play games during recharge times between masturbation, therefore all Girl gamers masturbate. Now t

This is not a history of games. If you want a history of games and games machines go to Wikipedia or something, this is a rant about “serious” games books, not novellisations or fan fictions (even though Barry x Chris or William Birkin x Yuna fan fics are great). Pick up any serious book about games and somewhere there will be a history section. It’s a rule laid down by publishers. If you want to write a serious games book it either has to be a history of games or the first three quarters of the book has to be about the history of games and it goes like this: 1) Write something about Egyptians playing games. 2) Write something about Babbage. 3) Write 1500000 pages on computers that look like this even though only two people in the world ever had one and they cost $168933 at the time . 4) Write three chapters on Pong including the fact that Pong. wasn't even the first game but write three chapters on it anyway. 5) Write two more chapters on Space Invaders. 6) Write epic

Ummmm I have to do a post because I'll be damned If I'm leaving the blog overnight with a fucking DBZ/Naruto post. After this weekend's SUPER FUN I decided to ask myself the question "Do people play computer games for fun anymore?" After 5 minutes on google I came to the following deeply pertinent, objective and empirical conclusions about why people play games other than to play games: 1) To wait around in an MMORPG, sometimes for days, to be called gay/ghey/gheye and then rush off to all the vegetarian forums to whinge about it. 2) To wait around in an MMORPG, sometimes for days, to be called dyke and then rush off to all the feminist forums to whinge about it. 3) To call other people gay/ghey/gheye/dyke 4) To write a games blog because their life is otherwise so vacuous that without the ability to copy and paste Wonderland links each post would read: Mood: Depressed (lonely) Listeing to: REM Everybody Hurts 5) To stand around the hub in MMORPG asking