Posts

Showing posts from March, 2007

Let's Do........ Griefing: A Guide

Image
Griefing has been in games for a long time. A modern definition would certainly be mostly about racism, sexism and all the other 'isms' towards other players particularly in multiverses, MMORPGs and online games with text or voice chat. However, griefing has been around in games for a while. Lets look to the origins of this much maligned behaviour.

Griefing first originated in games where you could directly affect other players. For me and the Catch The Monkey And Other Games B69 (the name given to the merry band of gamers that I used to play with) peeps the first precursors to griefing behaviour could be found in Micro Machines on the Mega Drive.
A well timed nudge before a jump or on a thin walkway would send the other player spiralling to doom. Remember this is a Micro Machines before weapons and powerups. Then strategies would start to develop to counter act nudging. The classic braking before someone goes to nudge you means that they end up facing the other way and you can …

GoW Death Threats Spark Call For Help?*

Creator of the original Playstation, Chuff_72 has called for Dr Wo 69 to "give him a hand".

This follows a number of actual frags caused by Marine34 which has forced Chuff to hide behind one of the sofas on the first floor of the Mansion map.

Chuff_72 was called a "Pokeyman" on Gears of War by Marine34 late last night on a round in The Mansion level in online multiplayer. Chuff_72 is now refusing to leave his hiding place behind a sofa on the first floor. "I'm afraid to leave cover. In the chat in the menu screen he was pretty adamant that he was going to 'smoke me and then hump my corpse' he has done it to me before on other levels" Chuff said from his cover earlier today.
He has called for Dr Wo 69 to "Get upstairs and cover me".

Whilst fighting in Gears of War is common Chuff is convinced that Marine34 is stalking him because he repeatedly tagged Marine 34 with smoke grenades which in competitive play is seen by some players as a bit …

Wanna Know the Name?

Image
Devil may Cry but an interesting report (via Bug's Blog) shows how people who play different games view themselves. A survey of 5000 gamers from around the world was taken. Here are the results.

Interestingly 80% of people who play mobile phone games at least once a day do not consider themselves gamers (this is more than I play games!). Compare that to 10% of console gamers and a whopping 64% of PC gamers surveyed.

Of the console (including DS, GBA and PSP) gamers 22% consider themselves 'hardcore gamers', but no definition of hardcore was given. 56% of them were in a relationship, 30% of them in a long term relationship (5+ years). The average age of a console gamer is 29 and there is an almost 50-50 split between the sexes. The favourite genre of games were puzzle games, life sims and 'adventure' games (some of these titles are a bit vague). 70% of console gamers play together, both co-operatively and against each other with family and friends.

Of PC gamers only 12…

S.I.C.K

Image
With the PS3 dead on arrival, the Xbox 360 dependent on me having a reliable broadband connection and the Wii having four games, three of which, are launch games, it is down to the DS to keep gaming alive in the world of Cunzy1 1. AND WHAT A WORLD! There's fossil league which I need for the DS dinosaur goodness and only £20. Then there's Bionicle heroes which promises to be as good as Metroid. Let us not forget Puzzle Quest: Somedy Blah Blah which I can see myself sinking days into. Elite Beat Agents and the new Phoenix Wright are calling my name RIGHT NOW TOO!. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl should be out sometime soon and I'm still wading through Advance Wars:Dual Strike, I've got one more round to do with Resident Evil Deadly Silence, Dr Kawishima's going to kick my ass next time I go on Brain Age and there is still a bazillion and one things left to do on Animal Crossing Wild World. :( There just isn't enough time or money to do them all and I haven't even s…

JT is a cunt

Image
Yeah so Jack Thompson (cunt) decided it would be a smart move to slag off rockstar, though in his recent slagging off rant he decided to rip-on the scots... Cunt. He says, "What else would one expect of Scottish sociopaths sipping their single malt Glenlivet in between brainstorming software programming sessions?". I resent this, it is a marr on everything that is scottish, and i feel that it not only hurts our nation but also hurts the good people at Glenlivet. As we all know Scottish sociopaths do not limit their drinking of Glenlivet to brainstorming software programming sessions, generally it is an all day thing, intesperced with downing a "boatle a' bucky". After which we watch Celtic Play Rangers, beat our wives, invent the steam engine, struggle with our ineptitude at reading /writing/arithmatic, then after tossing a caber in out kilts we sit down with a luke-warm bowl of porridge.

Hey JT, go fuck yourself

That Guy's A Hypocrite

Image
Yeah. Yeah we're hypocrites. Not so long ago we used to call the Xbox 360 the Gaybox 360 (back in our homophobic days but, like all my friends are gay so whatever) and we used to call the Wii the StupidNintendoNoReleasesInEurope-Machine. We still call the Wii the StupidNintendoNoReleasesInEurope-Machine but that's besides the point. Now we are widely perceived by the mass readership as Sony-haters. Well, Mr. I don't particularly like or hate Sony in the same way that I don't love or hate Rowntrees, Oxo or YKK (the zip brand. I fucking hate YKK as a first name and I hate people who call zips, zippers).

Anyway,here we cum buckets for Sony and this is why:

1) Timesplitters and Timesplitters 2. (Yeah but the GameCube..NOPE)
2) GTA (Yeah but the Xbox...FUCK OFF)

Here is TEN reasons why you should buy a PS3, right now:
1) Because you are a bender (robot not rear gunner).
2) To go down in history as the 5th person to buy a PS3 in the world.
3) To prop up your TV.
4) To tie to someone…

That Guy's Eye on the Street

It's PS3 launch day here in the United States of Europe and pretty much full time That Guy's Chuff_72 was our eye on the street:

Dude, pretty funny, apparently the Dr (Dr Wo 69) had 22 peeps eager for The Grill (the box, the blockhaus, the PS3) at his store at midnight, pretty good considering the area! But in a strange twist of launch logic Sony has over supplied, by a lot! Of the 25 pre orders, Sony saw fit to send 80 consoles! I mean yes, you could have one hell of a barbacque, but seriously, 80! Their storage room is packed, how long is it gonna take to shift that many Big Black Bricks?

On the way to work I first stopped in The Game, first thing I heard was the manager saying "can't believe I got up a 4.30 for this..." It's bargains gallore, there's a selection of games that you can get for only £35 if you buy a console and HMV are giving away FREE copies of Virtua Tennis (which costs £50 on PS3 and £40 on 360, uh pretty sure it's the same game, and…

You know what I miss?

Image
I miss Darkstalkers.

Darkstalkers was Capcom's risqué monster beat-em-up. It was always 2D and featured some rather fun unique and crazy characters. I don't wanna go into too much detail as I have a link to a much better site explaining it all, suffice it I'm all nostalgic about it and gutted I cant play it (unless I buy a PSP and a copy of a crap rendition of it) So how about some pictures of the birds from the games:

First up we have Felicia, she's half woman-half cat

[Enter pussy joke here]

Next up we have Morrigan, look she's part bat, part woman and has big tits, we love Morrigan here at That guys, she's special.

Gotta love that look in her eye


Finally we have Lilith she's similar to Morrigan but has smaller tits, and frequently is seen pictured with Morrigan in erotic pseudo-lesbian poses.

She even has a catchy one lines (Note: Hope this isn't Chris's blood)

Anyways check out this link here for a full and comprehensive darkstalkers fansite.

And also I …

Reasons Japanese people are Mental #267

Image
Pokemon Noodles...


1. Note that those noodles depict some of the newer pokemon, therefore combining Spoilers and Food for the first time ever in videogame history!
2. Do the Noodles actually contain real pokemon, if so... would you? I mean look at the cute little faces...
3. Do Grass-Type Pokemon count as meat?
4. It has to be alright, I swear I saw Ash eating a burger in the cartoon, that has to have come from a Miltank or a Tauros.
5. Pikachu is technically an electric-rat, Rat meat? Would you?
6. What type is the brown pikachu with the clouds over it? Has to be a flying-type of some kind.

World of Wankcraft!

Image
Dragonball MMOOh my God I'm Drowning in my own ejaculate (tastes funky).

No reason to buy a PS3

Image
If you had asked me a week ago, "Do you want to get a PS3?". Despite Cunzy's AIDs analogy I would have said, "maybe" for only a few reasons:

1. The controller. I have no idea where people get off mocking the PS3 controller, as far as I can see, it is nothing but an improvement on the "best-controller-ever" for the PS2. This time it has no wires, and is motion sensitive. The lack of a rumble pack, killed me slightly inside, but apparently that has been sorted. Whatever company was suing them about it had lost. (You may have heard rumours that the rumble pack was not included due to the Motion sensor affecting it, this was "Sony Lies", well not really, it does affect the motion sensor they are gonna include an on/off switch for the rumble feature letting the user decide whether or not they want this feature.)

2. It's the PS3. It seems that everyone has become quite jaded towards this word, despite all the worry and the excessive costs it'…

Sony has the all-clear

Image
It's true. Once tainted with the gay disease sony has gone into remission and is now clear of dirty bum disease (DBD). What prompts this contentious message you ask? Well looks like the PS3's Home may well destroy or at least take the limelight from Second Life. Check it.

Although I don't agree that this will be the case it's a step in the right direction. All of those clammy handed Second Lifers who are currently complaining that Second Life has become "too commercial" or "too popular" will be the same Second Lifers who will be in Second Life the day they switch the servers off. Unlucky San Fransicians, looks like everyone else has copied your idea and they'll be doing it better anytime soon. Some SLers have fought back by saying that "platforms" or dare I say it "multiverses" that are too popular will be filled with griefers and teenagers who "don't play in the spirit of the game". Better that than a bunch of 4…

Guardian Games Blog In Shameless News Stealing Scam

It's true readers. Check their post on Friday the 10th of March. Now check our post on the 8th of March.

You know reader/Richie it's this kind of stuff that makes me sick. We work really hard here at TGAM to bring you cutting edge reviews and news about videogames and then Guardian Games Blog steal our news and our readers. Look at all their comments! The only reason we don't get comments is because TGAM is blocked by almost every filter imaginable. If you are reading this reader, then I'm afraid we are a dwindling minority. The Germans will come and find us here any day soon.

UNTIL THEN- We will be emailing Guardian Games Blog every two days with the following email:

Dear Guardian GamesBlog

Remove all of your posts and delete your blog or we will be forced to
reveal the mediocrity of your blog to the world at large by linking to you from
the World's Second Greatest Videogame Blog, That Guy's a Maniac. If this were to
happen the millions of people that would visit you…

Second Zzzzzzzzzz

Image
Avatars. We love them and upcoming releases like Spore and LittleBigPlanet fill us with excitement. Customising avatars is fun. It's even better when you play against, or with, someone else. They're funny things. Some people are happy with understatement and can fully relate to a man in white underpants and black boots. Other people go crazy to get as far away as possible from the classic humanoid avatar. Here at TGAM we've been making avatars since V-Rally 2. Ok, so you could only enter your name and it would appear on the license plate of the car but that little difference made the game so much more fun. Next, was probably Quake 2 which would let you enter your name and choose a colour. Again, not a massive jump but it made a difference. For me WWF Smackdown 2 was the next big milestone. We went crazy creating our avatars and I still remember my character Zombie1 1, who for a while was dressed exactly the same as Ash Ketchum from the pokemon series albeit he was a 6ft bl…

Finally!

Image
Oh readers....... Who am I kidding? Hey Richie. It looks like after all our years of desperate attention seeking someone has acknowledged our cutting edge-videogame blogging. Yes, yes it may be unfortunate that I was slightly harsh about this guy's site a bit earlier but legendary webcomic artist Tim Buckley, creator of videogame themed webcomic Ctrl-Alt-Del has given That guy's a Maniac a nod. Check it out. Genius recognises genius.

Whaddya mean you can't see it. Check the second panel:

For those of you who still can't see it, Lucas says "Yeah That's.. That's awful. THAT GUYS do that...". It's as clear as day. Thanks for the props Tim although I suspect you were just phising for more traffic by getting all of our readers to check you out. Sorry for rating you third greatest videogame themed webcomic of all time but Chef Brian has to go and never come back.Image © 2002-2006 Tim Buckley and Ctrl+Alt+Del Productions. All rights reserved.

Sony in AIDS remission?

Image
No, of course not. That's impossible but check this screenshot.


Big Whoopdies I hear you cry but look at the big version.


You see them? At the bottom there. AMMONITES. They could have been dinosaurs, granted, but ammonites are halfway there. This is from some game called LittleBigPlanet yada yada but it's all about the prehistoric organisms. Sony you have managed to fuck up a bit less.


For those of you who don't believe me, or think they might be snails here is a zoom in using TGAM patented technology:

Watch-Ray Delayed

Today Sony announced that their new technology that allows gamers to watch and hear videogames, 'Watch-Ray' has been delayed until November 2007.

UPDATE: It's been delayed until Spring 2008

UPDATE: It's been delayed until November 2008

UPDATE: It's going to be four times the price in Europe when it comes out in January 2009

UPDATE: It's going to be motion sensitive like the Wiimotes. By moving around the room you'll be able to see the game you are playing FROM MOST ANGLES!! That is when it comes out in March 2009

UPDATE: It's never coming out at Europe

UPDATE: It's going to cost £1000,000 for the Europeans and it's still not coming out in Europe

UPDATE: The protoypes were just radios in a box marked 'Watch-Ray'. Sony confess that there is no 'Watch-Ray' but they own the patent

UPDATE: They don't even own the patent. Nintendo do

UPDATE: Sony to appear in court in May for stealing Ninty's ideas and for lying about 'Watch-Ray…

Why you shouldn't blog until your hymen pops

Image
Because blog the eye of Google will blog see you everytime blog. Even when you blog make key blog mistakes when trying to make a blog point.

What's Harvind1 up to?

Image
You may remember a while ago when we proved, scientifically, that we are the Second Greatest Videogame Blog of All Time In the World, we were beaten by a true legend, Harvind1. His blog was exceptional.

Seeing that now Richie is Deadcraft again I thought we should see what ol' Harvind1 is up to....

OH SICK. HE IS TRULY THE GREATEST VIDEOGAME BLOGGER OF ALL TIME. Did you see how long his post was? Very long indeed. Also he talks about real issues! We tried that once but it din't go very well. We were accused of being Homophobic even though one third of the TGAM team was gay once. It was just a phase but it means that we can't be homophobic. Well done Harvind1 you are an inspiration to us all.

In other news:

SONY of America has decided that TV compatability will no longer be available for the Europe PS3s. Instead SONY are releasing a new device called "Watch-Ray". Watch-Ray will be the biggest thing since the Walkman or the Playstation or Blu-Ray said SONY at 6pm GMT n…

Guitar Hero-age

Yeah so I have been fucking about with Guitar hero 2 for ages now, and well I'm better at it now (better as in not being beaten by so many girls) I am able to"5 star" afew oftheexpertlevelsongs. I have even wandered into the territory of the Bonus songs and found myself actually enjoyingthem (Recommend: Parasite play that on expert, if youdon't complete it then end your life, it is piss easy). Anyways bragging aside, I actually haveapoint here, I recently decided to go back to the first Guitar hero. Andwell wasI ever shocked. It's so easy! I went through Expert mode, with the exception of Cowboys from hell and Bark at the moon,start to finish, no problems.Well I say,"No problems" actually there was one major problem: The hammer-ons and pull-offsdon't work, Guitar hero2 is way more forgiving in that respect. This all-in makes me look forward to the 360 version basically in the hope thatitcan be possible to play Guitar hero 1 tracks with the Guitar he…

World of Postcraft Part 3: The Burning Crusade

Yeah so my Journalism Project? Well whatI was doing was applying to Edge.Recently Kotaku announced that edge were hiring so, I thought what the hell,despite its numerous spelling mistakes,I'll callthatguysmyportfolio. At the very least I was aiming toget a trip to their offices in Bath, that way we can all wnak over howobscure theJapanese are, whilst discussing the"Uncanny Valley" in a mild yetpretentious tone.The things I was supposed to have:1)Excellent writing ability, with an enthusiasm for grammar, research and structure as well as for expressing your opinion and communicating your passion.
"One word, Wnak"2)An in-depth knowledge of videogaming, its history, and its culture.
"Dude, check the site! We still play PS1 games! AndI can get 96 worlds complete in SuperMario World on the SNES in one sitting.3)A real curiosity to fill any gaps in that in-depth knowledge.
"Yeah I am missing August to December 1999"I'm sureI had a Dreamcast, but cant …

Sony has AIDS

Hey guys, girls and gaymers. It's paradox gaming time! That's right, where you the reader get to change the future by answering some hypothetical questions about games. Add your answers in the comments and I'll put them up here.

1) Would you pay £500 to be able to play one game for a month. It could be any game at all. Think of your favourite game, would you willingly pay £500 to play it?
Cunzy1 1:My favourite game of all time is probably Timesplitters 2, TGAM Game of the Year 2006. I don't think I would pay £500 to play it for a month though. I'd wait until it was cheap or free.

2) Would you pay £500 to play NHL 2K7?
Cunzy1 1: Hah! Fuck off. I've already got a NHL game. You only ever need one. It's like football games. No. Never.

3) Would you pay £500 to add a massive block of plastic to the already tight space under your TV. THe piece of plastic does nothing except play NHL 2K7?
Cunzy1 1: No. I need the space for my PS2 which can play all the Playsttion games I…