Super Smash Brothers Brawl

OK there was that video and then the really good official site and then that hideous sound as 100 million Nintendo fanboys and fangirls started typing up their wish lists. There was widespread panic and confusion. Despite the fact that it was very clear this still happened (check out the retarded comments). My favourite is this

"Um…considering that Final Fantasy is only for Playstation, I doubt that they’d include characters from the series. If anything, it’d probably be a moogle or chocobo since they’re in pretty much every game of the series. I would, however, really like to see Sonic in this game (and Spyro)."

Oh how they got called a 'noob' because everyone knows that the worst 6 Final Fantasies before it ('it' being FFVII the most acceptable of the series. That's right acceptable, not as good as you claim it was. Especially the 'story') were on the SNES. However, I can out-noob all the noobs who pointed out that this guy was a noob because of all the final fantasy characters in that awful Mario Hoops 3 on 3 game for the DS. So shut up noobs, all of you.

Anyway we've just come back from an exclusive meeting over at Smash Brothers Towers and we can reveal the finalised character list. We've been told not to break strict embargo but we want to give the fans what they want:

Firstly: Cloud, Sora, Sonic, Shadow, Bomberman and any Naruto characters are not in it. Mostly because Nintendo don't want to touch FFVII after Ergheiz. Did you play that Cloud Fanboy89? No? Well go and play it and die of shame over your homo dream date. The same goes for Sora in that no one liked generic brown haired boys in Super Smash Brothers Melee, that's why Marth, Roy and Ness have been scrapped. Sonic and Shadow are some of the worst ideas for entrance in Super Smash Brothers Brawl. It's just not happening. Why ruin one of the most acclaimed game series with two of the worst videogame characters in recent years, and by characters I mean the ones from the game not the ones from your Amy RosexHarry Potter fan fictions.

The official finalised character list for Super Smash Brothers Brawl is:

Dunsparce (Pokemon)
and the annoying rabbit from Super Mario 64, the one that runs away.

Unlockable characters:
Dakrai (Pokemon)
Dakrai will be unlockable and you can transfer him to Pokemon Diamond and Pearl. However, if you do this you can no longer use him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Other Unlockables:
Some wallpapers and the videos from the Super Smash Brothers Dojo site.

Yep you read it here first, well probably on Kotaku and then you came here via a link


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