Where are they now?

Every self respecting games blog, at one time or another, runs out of ideas and does a hilarious "where are they now" post featuring a videogame character who was in one or two games but hasn't been seen since. They are often lame and it annoys me that no one can come up with something original these days.

In other news we've managed to catch up with videogame legend the Nemesis who has s.t.a.r-red (pun intended!) in Resident Evil 3, Resident Evil 3 (GC), Under the Skin and on the Silver Screen in Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

Cunzy11: So, you were fantastic as the relentless monster stalker in Resident Evil 3. In mario 64, what do you have to collect to progress into new areas?
Nemesis: S.T.A.R.S
Cunzy11: Absolutely. It must have been interesting for you to hook up with Jill and Carlos again for Under the Skin. I imagine it was a lot of fun! What game show am I describing: Musical talent show in which amateur lookalikes and soundalikes impersonate their favourite musical idols. Presented by Matthew Kelly?
Cunzy11: Need a clue? ______ in their eyes.
Nemesis: S.T.A.R.S!
Cunzy11: Sure was. Many gamers complained that the fight with you in the courtyard after you shot down the rescue heliopter was harder than the final fight. Word associtation, Night Sky?
Nemesis: S.T.A.R.S
Cunzy11: No flies on you sir! In the three (four including the Gmecube remake of RE3) roles you have played you must feel slightly typecast. Name a slang word for LSD?
Nemesis: S.T.A.R.S
Cunzy11: You know your stuff. Many gamers were dissapointed with Resident Evil: Apocalypse for a number of reasons including your role in the film. Any.......
Nemesis: Well that was fuck-up. I had a hand in writing my part, which, is kinda cool and also rare in Hollywood. However, when we came to filming Alex, (Witt) completely changed it. I mean it's an insult to me, an insult to Jill, Brad (Vickers), Carlos and worst of all Capcom. The Nemesis! A fucking, sorry, a bloody good guy at heart! Alex said it was because the G-virus was seen as a metaphor for AIDS and that the Zombies personified AIDS sufferers, my turning into a good guy was to show that AIDS victims aren't monsters. That was horse-shit though, he just wanted a happy ending. Not that it's going to end, I've heard the next one doesn't even have zombies. How come the Licker gets to be bad ass in the first film and then I wimp out in the second one. I did fight for the changes to be scrapped but money was tight at the time, what with my eldest off to college this year. It's one of my biggest regrets and I apologise wholeheartedly to the fans.
Cunzy11: Well said. Thanks for your time Nemesis. You can catch him in an upcoming episode of a popular surreal drama set on a desert island and he is due to takeover from Patrick Swayze in the West End production of Guys and Dolls in November. One last thing Nem, can you say it for us? Just once.
Nemesis: Oh I don't know.......
Cunzy11: Please? I told Richie you would.
Nemesis: Oh okay. S.T.A.R.S!
Cunzy11: Still got it pal, still got it. Thank you, goodbye and goodluck in the future!


  1. I'm glad nemesis felt that way because after that film i didn't have and nightmare's about him all i could do was dream happy thoughts about him ohhhhhhhh there was this one time where i woke up with the telly tubbies and fucking hell do there bed's suck it was so bad i woke with cramp in my neck and shoulders anyway we were just dancing and saying the same fucking words over and over again by the time the day ended i was nackered and just wanted to play my Ds in the corner quietly on my own with out tinky winky trying to hump me and poo asking me why tinky had a hard thing poking out between legs, but then i looked up at the laughing sun baby and saw this beam of light come from over one of the hill's and it was heading straight for the laughing sun baby and then suddenly the fucking laughing sun baby exploded into a million tiny sun babies but it all went dark and the tiny sun babies looked like stars in the night sky i was really confused but i looked more closely at the tiny sun babies and because of the explosion there faces looked burnt and melted on one side and i thought hang on they look a bit like......... ...... and then i got interupted by this loud voice in the background S.T.A.R.S!!!!!! i looked over my left shoulder and saw la la getting choked by the nemesis and that wierd tongue thing that comes out of his hand going into la la's mouth , i thought to myself why is nemesis attacking the telly tubbies there not stars but what i din't see was that when the tubbies got to bed on the screen it doesn't mean they go to bed in real life. I saw the other three got into there crappy house and come out wearing stars jackets just like brad's one and they started picking up rabbits and chucking them at nemesis ( deep down i was impressed with the throwing ability by the tubbies and kinda wanted them to win) but i was on the nem's side, i thought this is going to be good so tinky started to run towards nem with such anger but his third leg was slowing him down making an easy target for nem to stand there for about 10 minutes aiming with his bazooka and then bang tinky was everywhere a really bloody mess which left poo and dipsey, poo just stood there and shit herself after she saw tinky blow sky high and nem just picked her up and just ripped her to shreds it was the most goryest thing i had ever seen and then dipsey ran over to the remain's of tinky grabbed tinkys cock (which was just laying there) and beat the shit out of the nem but i had to interveen to save nem being beaten by a cock and just ran and kicked dipsey right in the go nads and then me and the nem teamed up, the nem done the pedigree and choked slammed dipsey and i climbed the house and jumped off the roof to frog slash and then we both finished off with a double tombstone piledriver bursting dipsey's head on the ground. it was a hard night's graft and it was a mess but me and the nem became the best of friends forever. True story


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