[PlanetEarth]: LFG Need Healer

If you were in the UK this summer you may have noticed that there was in fact no summer, we have lost “seasons”, we have expelled so may fucked up gasses into the atmosphere that we have effectively killed summer. It is this writer’s humble opinion that we have in fact fucked-up the whole world, beyond fixing. Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Seas drying up, and all sorts of other weather related extinction events happening on bigger and grander scales. This of course makes things like wars, oil, Jihads, Politics, Religion, PS4, the 9th WoW expansion, Nintendo doing a global release of a title, the end of Lost, the iPod-killer and the Spice girls re-uniting, all redundant.

And so what does our government do to try and stop this issue… it encourages us to use less carrier bags from the supermarket. Yeah nice.

The whole problem is that there is too many of us, and we have reached a point in our social evolution to the point where no-one cares, we work 9-5, then eat our tea in front of Coronation Street, and just hope that things will be ok. And nothing will change, bar some kind of social revolution, but none of us can be bothered because we are just counting the hours to the weekend.

In theory this makes everything redundant, science, arts, and yeah even gaming, as all of our progress will not be saved.

[1. General] [PlanetEarth]: LFG Need Healer.

So this is a big shout out to the Developers, stop delaying games, we don’t have much time left… especially if it’s all grind-fests. I bet if you were to weigh up the amount of hours left in the world versus the hours required to grind all classes to maximum level (including skills etc) for the MMOs already out there, it wouldn’t be that far off. The time left for classics to be classics is also dwindling.

Ok, let’s say for instance there is a big mass extinction and humans do manage to survive, what sort of future do we have to look to? And more importantly what will happen to gaming.

1. Matrix Style.
Arguably the best scenario for games, the machines take over then slot us all into one giant MMO, unfortunately it seems that the game we are stuck playing is a pretty version of second life, and you can only get funky moves if you take the red pill, and deal with RL stuff.

2. No-Technology.
Yeah this is bad news, what with the tidal waves, flooding, or the sun being blocked out by smog/volcanic ash. We have no real means to power 360s, let alone HDTVs. Also Microsoft would likely get destroyed, no more Critical updates for Direct X 13, and no customer support for the Red rings of death.

3. The resurrection.
God gets resurrected, he is so pissed off with what we have done to the planet, that he smites all the n00bs and haXXorz with his uber-1337 deity skillz.

4. Bizz-world
The success of WoW keeps stretching into the future, to the point where everyone on the planet has an account. They release a new patch, which integrated the worlds last remaining power sources actually in the game. Problem is some blizz-employee, spills his coffee on the main server.

/earth
The world (server) has gone down.
/exit earth

5. The dead shall rise from the grave
Mutations, and scientific experimentation to try and extend human life leads to Zombies. The last salvation of man is the new Carthage: Raccoon city. No games here, just a weak Resident evil link.

6. A Utopian society.
We learn to live underground, but not in a skanky Xion way, we harness the earths core for energy, living in a balance with nature/consoles, getting our exercise from the Wii 3 using the full body wii-mote, getting entertainment from the Xbox 1080, getting porn from the internet, Sony will still be there pushing blu-ray.

Etc…

Anyway remember this the next time you pick up a game you have not completed: Finish that bad boy because in a few years there may be no more gaming/humanity. And don’t feel bad about playing them either, as everything will be gone too, all those “worthwhile” pursuits such as Arts and Sciences with be worth as much as the games: Jack and Shit, and Jack just got radiation poisoning from the nuclear fallout.

Alternatively if you don’t want to complete it, go recycle something.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Omastar Is For Life

The Sheva from Resident Evil 5 Nude Cheat