Yes. I'm capitalizing Iphone and I'm spelling capitalizing like a yank. It's going to be one of those posts. But we mustn't shun the new platforms when they come out we should welcome them with open arms to join the fold. Recently, Steven Gates (is he the apple man? It really doesn't matter) tried to prove that the Iphone was the shit because it had more games than the DS and the PSP.
By that reckoning the PC is then the best gaming device! Didn't think about that Gates did you, you lemon.
Anyway, much like the Nintendo DS, the Iphone does have a whole load of steaming shit available for it with the occasional warm gem hidden in the pat. Nobody is going to suggest that any of them are all time greats but here's a summary of the best presented in the tried and tested Top 10 tradition:
Top Ten Original Iphone Games.
There isn't a single original Iphone game. Every Iphone game is either a port, a clone or in the worst cases an adaptation of a mini game from another game proper. This is fact.
Top Ten Iphone Apps.
Apps sounds stupid. Then again so does Iphone. Iphone with a capital 'I' also looks stupid. Finding the top ten was difficult. In fact I couldn't find more than one. I may have made the top one up also. Here it is, it's called Icunt simulator 2013 and it is an app that turns your Iphone into a sign that says "I'm a massive cunt" every time you use the Iphone inappropriately. These instances include, but are not restricted to: showing people holiday photos in a pub or club, using twitter, messing around with trying to find that restaurant you were looking for for so long that phoning the restaurant for directions or asking somebody walking past or in fact just wandering around until you found it anyway would have been quicker, doing anything other than phoning somebody else. In all of these instances the Iphone would only display the aforementioned sign until it was put back into a pocket. If it is put into a special Iphone holder it continues to display the sign until the batteries run out.
Top Ten Iphone Games.
That Loco Roco clone, the Crash Bandicoot clone, the Mario Kart one, the bejewelled one, the one that is like that better version on the DS, that game that just displays the rude sign, the tower defense one, that one like that PlayStation block game that begins with a K, Kurushi!, is that ten yet? I can't even bring myself to count.
Overall score Because there is always a score. A-haven't-we-played-all-these-games-before-but-in-their-much-better-and-expanded-versions-buying-a-paint-tester-isn't-the-same-as-painting-the-house- 5/10. 3 of those points are for the fictional app game I made up/stole from a stand up comedian?