London Fashion Week vs E3

This is the first post in one of our signature 'series' that never had more than one post in it. You can find all the others (there aren't any and there never will be) under the tag of "Us vs them".

This Friday London Fashion Week um, it, well it comes to London? Although it doesn't really go anywhere else. London Fashion week will get miles and miles of column inches over the next couple of weeks from articles in those wanky glossy fashion magazines that look like future porn through to the columns written by plump middle class Bridget Jones wannabes who write for the Guardian.

Fashion is an okay thing for people to be interested in. Gaming not so much. Its fine to waste money on shoes, clothes and bags. Not fine to waste money on games. In an not so scholarly analysis we'll have a look to see why one interest is perceived as socially acceptable and the other as socially abhorrent by comparing two of the biggest events in each camps calendar. It's London Fashion Week vs. E3.

Where? LFW is all around London. Real people only really know where it is by the sudden appearance of garish marquees outside famous places. E3 is in Las Vegas which is in the state of California in the country of Florida.

Who? LFW Camp men and anyone remotely famous with/for a vagina. E3 Geeks and strippers.

What? LFW A chance for the world's top designers to show off new clothes whilst celebrities look at them. E3 A chance for the world's leading game developers to show their latest sequels off and to do some major dick swinging in the name of PR.

Why? LFW Nobody really knows why it happens or what exactly it is for. The clothes never make it to the high street because they are all totally unwearable. E3 Because for a few precious days all the worlds gaming blogs manage to keep concentration just long enough to cover the event.

Dress code LFW Anything that you wouldn't be able to walk around in broad daylight on the streets of London in without getting stabbed to death for being a homo. E3 Elf ears or magic the gathering T-shirts.

Guest List LFW Dita Von Teese, racist thug former super models, that woman on the TV who is the fit version of that other one who used to do T4, probably Madonna. E3 That guy who once hosted Saturday Night Live, one of the Brians from Kotaku and the fat cop from Heroes.

Highlights LFW Ugly skinny people dressing up like 80s tramps and walking down a runway and then walking back. E3 Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo blatantly lying about things, being recorded lying by over 40,000 different sources and getting away with it all anyway.

Behind the scenes LFW Skinny bohemians who dropped out of textile and design courses at university but who really really want to work in big fashion who are also good at sourcing the best coke. E3 Freelance geeks paid for by publishers who really really want to break into the game industry despite having no useful skills aside from have played a shit load of WoW and booth babes.

Real world impact LFW Literally none unless someone falls over then you'll see it years later in blooper shows. E3 For a couple of weeks the tiny percentage of people who play games and hang out on the web, a tiny subset of actual people who play games, get a bit excited.

Mass media coverageLFW Everyone will pitch in. It'll be all over the newspapers, LFW supplements in magazines, discussed in various TV culture shows and endless photographs of who is wearing what and who went to see which show. E3 Zero mass media coverage. A torrent of half truths, booth babe pictures rumours and lies will dominate the gaming blogosphere. If you are really lucky you'll find a live stream of the big talks on some obscure Finnish site you have to register for.

So that's that. And in true gamer style, in the only way we can express emotions to each other, the only way we can communicate complex ideas as enjoyers of digital entertainment here's the scores. LFW gets a passable 6.8/10, E3 gets a Ubisoft 2/10.

You've been wasting your time and we've been TGAM.

Czy1 1 XOXO


Popular posts from this blog

Devil May Cry 4: Best. Cosplay. Ever.

An Omastar Is For Life