That guy's a Maniac...

All the time, the cold lonely empty silence of the comments section and TGAM's email inbox seems to be asking me "Why if you are the official Capcom website do you never do anything on the Street Fighter series?". I'm sure that is what the silence asks of me. And if I were to answer it, my answer would be a three parter. Firstly, why do we only seem to ever write about Pokemon and Resident Evil? This is the bigger concern. Why pick out Street Fighter? Jeez. Secondly, I hate Street Fighter but it isn't because I think the fighting genre hasn't progressed at all in over a decade, it isn't because now there are stupid bars everywhere and nobody tells me what each of them mean or how to activate any of them so I just button mash until something explosiony happen and it isn't even because 'So there is this fighting tournament' has been the standard plot for fighting games since forever. Thirdly, the real reason why I hate Street Fighter is beca

From Dante to Mario. Can it be done? Started off quite hard because we figured we couldn't get out of Capcomland. But here's how it is done kids. Dante-Viewtiful Joe courtesy of Viewtiful Joe. Viewtiful Joe-Ryu courtesy of Tatsunoko vs Capcom Then we go Ryu to Mitsurugi courtesy of Namco X Capcom Then we go from Mitsurugi to that Link chap via Soul Calibuuuur 2. And finally from Link to the podgy plumber via Superu Smashu Brotheru! Can you do it with less degrees? Do have a go. And while you are at it see if you can beat: Mickey Mouse to Sonic the Hedgehog- 4 degrees. Master Chief to Solid Snake- 3 degrees (cheating a bit). Megatron to your own Mii- 2 degrees. And if you can get those you can get practically anywhere! Anywhere worth going anyway. Characters with no degrees to anybody just aren't worth it people.

Exclusive: Lady Gaga: Glitz, Glamour and Gaming. Ok well... when we heard about this we were worried that it was going to be some kind of soulless cash-in, but after chatting with the (undisclosed) developer we have reconsidered our stance a little. "We are attempting to encapsulate Gaga's individual fashion, glitz and glamour and translate that to a playable medium. It is not our intention to create some droll dress-up aimed for tweens, we want to create something iconic and playable, essentially a game worthy of the uberstyle that Gaga herself represents. Without giving too much away, fashion and music will feature highly in the game, along with re-imagining of many of the current gaming themes on the maket, but with a Gaga-twist." There you go, yet another Thatguys exclusive. Love and Disco-Sticks, Richie XXX

Artist rendition of how Miyamoto actually sees the world. So recently he said: “I don’t think everything needs to be 3D, or that just because we’re seeing more 2D games now, that everything’s going to shift back to 2D. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a 3D game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of 2D games were. When going 2D, you need the courage to not be so attached to visual appearance of the games and to really pursue the gameplay experience.” Interestingly this also reads well if you replace 2D for SD (Standard Definition/Poor-man's TV) “I don’t think everything needs to be HD, or that just because we’re seeing more SD games now, that everything’s going to shift back to SD. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a HD game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of SD games were. When going SD, you need the courage to not be so attached

Well the Hunk competition is over. After two years we've had no entries. This can be taken as proof that you can't trust the Machinima community. Fuck you Machinima community. Fuck you. How will the fanfiction guys fare? We're running another competition (wow now we're just like the official Mega Man site !). As you may well now, Wesker is to appear as a rip off DLC pish in Lost Planet 2. What we want to know is how did he get there? Feel free to dick around with the "Resident Evil Canon" as Capcom so frequently do but do make sure your fic. contains the following elements: 1) Barry Burton's daughters Polly and Moira. 2) Tits McGee from Dead Rising. 3) Dante slicing a whole train in half. 4) A non racist justification for Sheva's totally racist costume in RE5. 5) Jill and Rebecca talking about who they fancy in S.T.A.R.S. 6) Cheryl Jones' supplementary mission in it's entirety. 7) A recurring joke about how Mega Man is into Moir

Oooh ooh you have to shoot civilians! Boo hoo! It's all a bit morally challenging. SHUT UP. SHUT UP MW2 PRICKS. Nobody gives a shit anymore because we talking bout MUTHAFUCKING TOFU: You can shove your DLC, your customisable characters, your Valve Pish, your Fallout 3 stories. It's over. End of day. Shut up shop. Time at the bar. This is it people. Nobody does games with Tofu in them like Capcom. Review of Darkside Chronicles based on the single above screenshot : Game of the year. Game of the year. End of. Game of the century even! It's got Tofu in it. What more do you want? Tofu. Can I say anymore? No. But I will and that it muthafucking Tofu up in this muthafucking, muthafucka.

Sorry guys, look like our fantasy of being taken over by robots and molested and dissected for pure mechanical fiends' entertainment isn't going to be this year. Look like all so Scy-Fy (yeah!) writers were wrong again. Robots have only just learned, been programmed, become remotely controllable worked out how to do corners so that Pac Man can be played very very slowly . Sadly this means sex robots are still at least 1500 years away people :(

Was the front page news the Metro was running today. Is it the first ever gaming news front page in a publication with semi-decent circulation? Probably. Anyway to the story as reported by the Metro. One gamer, cut off by MS had this to say: "I was gutted, completely gutted. It's like telling someone their dog's just died" Our thoughts on this. 1) Why is only people in newspapers say gutted. They are always gutted about things in newspapers but we all know nobody actually says gutted since the late 90s. 2)It is not like telling someone their dog just died because normally dogs last longer than a console generation, you can play with your dog any time regardless of whether you are connected/Xbox is working, you can entertain more than two people with a dog at any one time without having to set up Rock band, people know what a dog is, a dog is fully compatible with any dogs you may already have, girls are interested in dogs, you can take your dog outside or on holiday

As if you needed more reasons to not play your Wii, here are 2 massive ones: Ant and Dec Fig. 1. Ant and Dec are playing Mario Kart, as you can see they are also making racist Asian faces, furthering their racist stereotyping, they are likely playing badly. Fig. 2. Ant and Dec are amused that the DS has 2 screens. Fig. 3. Ant and Dec playing with the Wii balance board, I couldn't think of anything funny here... Just observe their massive shiny foreheads and perhaps pretend they are making "NEEEEOOOW" Aeroplane noises  For those of you who don't know (i.e. outside of the UK) Ant and Dec are a TV presenting duo lacking any sort of talent. They are huge corporate cash-ins who are involved in pretty much every reality show in some shape or form. There is very little spark of life left in their eyes, further likening them to a money driven automatons and I'm sure you can envision where you insert the cash. Cheating Cockba

And this years most underwhelming promotion in video games goes to.... ... ... ... *Rustles envelope* ... ... A quiet hush captures the ceremony ... ... Congratulations Bayonetta!!! Nobody cares. Love and hugs. I find Mr Vaz's Modern Warfare outrage arousing, Richie X

Yeah well, we cant really call ourselves a gamer website without mentioning this. Consider it mentioned. Oh and by the way, Makro have it for £20, that's the cheapest in the UK. Love and Hugs, Right between the eyes Richie X

Theif and MP Keith 'clueless' Vaz, having got over being ridiculed for various tedious and hyperbolic lambasting of games based on no evidence whatsoever once again gets in the Daily Mail off the back of "outrage" at a big game launch this time over Modern Warfare 2. Read all abaaaaat it here "Outrage as new video game lets players kill civilians in terror attacks". Bored, bored, bored. Surely Mr Vaz has more important things to be sorting out? Or maybe he could plough back all that money he skimmed from the tax payer into fixing Leicester before attacking games? Change the tune Vaz. You're so out of your depth once again. How about instead of knee jerking every time you want a bit of press coverage, you do some proper research into the non issues you soap box? God knows the UK government is so shit at supporting the games industry, to be even more damaging when you make moronic comments is insult to injury. Do you want to drive the gam

So am I looking forward to Dragonage? You bet I fucking am! Its a huge expansive RPG on the 360!! (And some other platforms I think Sony's will run it. And I believe if you have a PC bought in the last 45 minutes it should run). Admittedly its a middle-earthy RPG with Orcs and Elves and whatnot, however Oblivion (the other middle-earthy RPG on the 360) has redeemed my faith that these archetypes no longer belong to Tolkien-fappers (Dwarves are just the right height to chow down on my "Garden of Elrond"*), Blizzard, and D&D mouth-breathers. Anyway I'm gonna lube up and find my industry contacts and get this game before Friday assuming I'm not too humiliated or the welts are still open. *Yes this is referring to lady bits, see we're not sexist we know that girls fap over obscure images too. DragonLove, DragonRichie XX

Yes people an exclaimed SIGH! This is the cause of the now doubly exclaimed sigh!!. We are literally sitting two clicks away from a whole section on wikipedia called List of Disney video games by genre Mickey Mouse Series.

The other day we were reading the TGAM archives and laughing out loud at ourselves. Out loud. That’s pretty wrong no? But it was when we were reading the TGAM archives that we realised that WE ARE FUCKING GAMING CELEBRITIES! Yes folks, without actually knowing it we went from mediocrity to gaming celebrity stardom. Like that news about the goose that levelled up and became a swan that time. Here is the story about how we discovered we were celebrities (this will probably be in our second autobiography when we publish our book now we are gaming celebrities). We got a link on Kotaku once and not one of those news stealing links a proper link for creating something unique. Our best friend totally met Pentadact , secretly James secretely Tom at University. He even emailed him to check and Tom emailed back. What a nice chap. We insult Richard Cobbett on a regular basis and he doesn’t even hate us. We interviewed that photographer who did the Devil May Cry shoot for Front magazine. We are

So our good firends over at the Zeonic Front have gone and made a nice photo shgop edit of bayonetta, in proportion! Well done: Yeah we concur, the proportions of she-dante were totally out of whack! Regarding Bayonetta, we have been wrestling (in a non-homosexual way, we just finish each other off in the showers afterwards) over this title for a while. You see it DOES look good, there are some classy Dante-esque manoeuvres, and we all love Devil May Cry. But despite the fact that the DMC genre is not ripped off that much *looks in Kratos' direction*, it is SEGA that is doing the ripping off, and well SEGA suck, they have done nothing but 3/10 forgettable trashy cash-ins. I just cant get excited about this game, ultimately I feel it will be an underwhelming disappointment, Too much hype, to much focus on inferred nudity (and I'm usually a fan, though it helps if their head is not tiny), and too much focus on how great it is gonna be. Anyone else feeling this

NB: Some things aren't good enough for that other site we occassionally write for . And then sometimes we forget we've some stuff that doesn't get published and then it becomes out of date and then we post it here. Here is one such fine post. You may all be delighted to have heard of the recent appointment of Carol Ann Duffy as the first female, first Scot and first openly bisexual person to become the poet laureate of the United States of the Kingdom of the UK. Congrats to Carol. Good job. But what does a poet laureate actually do you may ask? Aside from being a staple answer to a pub quiz question (and with three firsts Carol Ann Duffy will be the answer to trivial pursuit questions for many many years to come) a poet laureate composes poetry for state events as well as being a spokesperson for poetry. To disseminate its worth and to kindle the eternal flame of poetry at all costs. After all, there are few forms of media that will help you to get laid, 'I directed

Those of you living in the United Kingdom Emirates may have seen a couple of the recent Fallout 3 GOTY edition TV spots. This makes a refreshing change from the constant Wii adverts. We looked for a relevant video on Youtube but there are so many gameplay videos it was tricky to find. So instead we're going to go back in time to 1950 and explain the advert using only words *. THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS : Play Fwallout 3 NOW! 2 second clip of someone doing a head shot. 2 second clip of someone hitting someone with something else. 2 second clip of someone having an explosive device thrown at them. 2 second clip of someone having something [indistinguishable] violent done to them in slow motion. THE GUY WHO DOES ALL THE VOICEOVERS FOR AMERICAN ACTION FILMS : Gwame of the Ywear Edition out No[Gravel, gravel, Gravel]w. 1 second shot of credits. End. Now we're all for televisual adverts for great games but is the advert really capturin

Yeah it happened... Delay #1 Where it was previously set for October 23rd UK release. It is now set for a November 13th release. No news on any new characters... so it looks like we are just on the usual set of DBZ characters, with a few of the movie characters. Though there are rumours circulating of around 4 or 5 extra characters. Which logically will be Hercule (Comedic character), Cell Jr (Spawns of Cell), Saibamen (Little green aliens the Saiyans use) and Janemba (The big bad that fought Goku and Vegeta's combined form, Gogeta, who has already been confirmed, though I suspect that SS3 Broly might be his adversary [interesting, maybe we can get SS3 Gogeta?]). On a personal note. I would like them to return all the previous characters from previous games, GT aside there was plenty of interesting "What-if" scenarios in the previous games such as Goku and Hercule fusion (Gocule) Tien and Yamcha fusion (Tiencha) and even the addition of the original Dragonball charac

An Elder Scrolls book : Fuck that shit, get the finger out on Elder Scrolls V! Stop fannying about with Fallout 3 DLC! Jesus... What we're all thinking, Richie V

Internet fiend and Leaderboard legend the Hockster just gave us the tip-off about the new Resident Evil 4 HD version. We're pretty sure this is breaking so you'll see it in a TTECNK on lesser sites soon. Here is the original: Here is Resident Evil 4 HD. You can see that Capcom, fingers burnt from Resident Evil 5, have played it safe and set the whole thing in Asia land. Can't racist yourself! Except you are being racist if you just racist yourself and not everyone. Try again Capcom.

Gaming is trying hard to be mainstream, even though it already is but not in the way many gamers gamers can appreciate because they are too busy grinding and cyberring to spend enough time in the real world. A world without elves and muscle men and barrels and princesses and invisible walls. One thing that might help the deluded to believe that gaming is more mainstream is if we create some Gaming Celebrities. That way we join the common woman by slating off how fat, ugly, beautiful, stylish, hideous and underweight our favourite gaming people are and we can OMG to our hearts delights every time Jeff Minter takes a crap and it makes headlines. Our part in all this is to interview the top 100 gaming celebrities pushing them from blogosphere obscurity to the heady heights of celebrity and maybe see them take part in ice skating, ballroom dancing and orgies-on-islands television programmes like real celebrities do. This is not Leigh Alexander. We emailed over 500 gaming celebs and

HA, this isn't really an update, but more of or crazy conspiracy theory that Kotaku may be "the man" and he is keeping thatguys down, mainly through subliminal hits and Machiavellian conduct. But also sapping and impurifying the precious bloggily fluids with their fluidic and readable posts. It goes all the way back to Jesus, man! 'Kotaku' in Sanskrit means nothing more than "wanks over graphical representations of girls/boys with exaggerated eyes and which have possible insinuations that they are not of age of consent". And of course any layman can see this is synonymous with the church, which in-turn are synonymous with the fabled Illuminatti. The Illuminati...blah, blah, blah... Dan Brown is Brian Crecente...blah, blah, blah...Moses was the original top-ten list Blogger...blah, blah, blah...4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42...blah, blah, blah, yakity, smakity...Is nothing more than biased media dictating what we should and shouldn't like. That aside, yet a

Warning Gibberish: Super Saiyan 3 Vegeta!!! He's in the game and I'm a happy man. Currently the game is set for a UK release on 23rd of October... I still highly doubt it... Laters, SS3 RichieXX

It's Monday okay! Much easier to bash out a dirty top ten than it is to do any actual thinking. Here are our top ten characters to get you 'there' if your current humpee ain't doing it no more. 1) Q Bert 2) Merchant from RE4 3) Zangief 4) Lickitung 5) Ms Pac Man 6) Aeris (dead). 7) Zelda as Sheik. 8) That tranny from Neir. 9) The gorilla dude, above, from Alex Kidd when he loses a game of paper, scissors, stone (and also his undies) 10) Murdered maidens in Tenchu. All of these are tried and tested winners according to our girlfriend.

Yet again the technology companies are pushing the technology that we didn't want or even ask for. PSPGo has been creating some headlines with some rolling their eyes and others heralding the dawn of the package-less game. Like they did with mobile games. And all those other times. If you are anything like us, you have some severe reservations about it all. One of them being that the average person who plays games doesn't buy games mags, they don't even know about metacritic , they probably don't follow gaming blogs, the still go to the high street to buy their games and they probably haven't even taken their console online and if they have they probably have not downloaded any games let alone check the new releases every week. This is the average gamer. These are the people that saw the Wii soar to the heady heights. This is not your average forum lurker. This is not your average office of game journos. This is why many many great games perform underwhelmin

Our glorious hobby is now so almost mainstream that it is time to give it up and complain how it was better back in the day before it got popular and spolied. Last week I couldn't sleep so ended up watching people trying to sell a Wii on one of the shopping channels. A year ago I would have smirked and sniggered my way through it as the orange hosts said the names of games wrong or struggled with the controls. Sadly it turns out the presentation was almost flawless and at one point the male orange went on a tangent about Super Star Wars and Metroid. I died a bit inside. But shopping channels, TV shows, proper adverts aside you know that gamin has made it big when Museums put on exhibitions all about gaming. Museums are the vanguard of culture and no matter how great you thought your latest tweet was in 50 years time if it ain't in the museum then nobody will know about it. In recent years there have been a number of gaming exhibitions. Some good a la Science Museums'

Total.

Its become a yearly tradition for me now, each Autumn (That's "Fall" for the more verbally inept of you, or "the bit just after summer") I get excited about the next Dragon ball game. Well... Last year not so much, Dragon ball Z: Burst limit (360) was a bit of a let down being less of a direct sequel to Tenkaichi 3 and more of it's own entity. But this year! Oooh boy Dragon ball Z: Raging Blast is due out. Currently it is set for a European release on November 10th 2009, but as with all the release dates I'm taking this one with a pinch of salt and I'll say December 11th 2009, and I'll let future Richie take the responsibility and keep you updated on that one. So what's good about this one? Well It's more of a direct sequel it features the copious amounts of characters from the previous games though a full list has not been confirmed it has been stated that there will be over 70 characters, each with alternative outfits

Perhaps it is because they couldn't get it off steam? Or maybe because they had to actually watch TV and they haven't done that for ages. Rock Paper Shotgun summed the show up pretty well. Richard Cobbett continues to look like David Mitchell. But if there is anything the men, who have mostly had marginal success writing for dying magazines and a niche following on the old blogosphere (RICH, SO RICH COMING FROM US), have said that makes sense is that the show felt very cobbled together because it was trying to do justice to the whole of gaming kind in a single show. And for an audience wider than the gamer gamers (see pie chart, the red slice). It could easily be a 420 part series but then who would watch it? Gamers think they know it all. The average TV watcher probably doesn't give a shit. Then again the same demographic expressing dissapointment at Gameswipe are the same people who regularly bemoan TV for being totally shit. So you can't have it both wa

And if you don't know what the GTS is you can FUCK OFF.

From the Graudian Gameswipe With Charlie Brooker 10pm BBC4 Following in the footsteps of Screenwipe, Charlie Brooker's new show- you guessed it- aims its remote at the world of videogames. Whether you're a gamer hater or lover, Gameswipe- part of the Electric Revolution season on BBC4- shows how games can be just as dumb or brilliant as TV and movies. And Charlie certainly knows what he's talking about, having spent his early career causing mayhem at PC Zone. Graham Lineham, Dara O'Brian and Dom Joly are on hand to join in the pixellated fun. Thoughts on the bit from the Guardian: 1) TV and Movie envy :( 2) Gamer hater or lover? Surely this should be game hater or lover? Who loves gamers? 3) Would have left out the bit about PC Zone, most people think that is a shop where you buy printers. 4) With the exception of Graham Linehan funny men from elsewhere on TV have no place here. 5) Videogame rather than video game? Controversial. 6) Forgot to mention the guys from Video

Remember that lost post when we emailed LEGEND Graeme Norgate? Well he only friggin emailed back, which to be honest has made us gush like a mucopurulent teenage girl at a Jonas Brothers gig under a waterfall. Here's what Big G had to say: Hello, Thanks for the email, glad to hear you like my stuff...going all the way back to KI too, that is retro :) the "is that too loud" bit is just me messing around with sounds and for some reason putting them on the gameover screen of Timesplitters 2. I can't quite remember the reasoning behind it now, I think it stems back to when I would listen to vinyl as a kid, and sometimes you'd get a "hidden" message right at the end. Thanks again Regards Graeme This email gave us lots of useful information about Graeme. Like, if we want to be like Graeme we'll say KI instead of Killer Instinct. Also, we got a fricking emoticon. I'm never gonna wash my email inbox ever again. So that's the reason

This is breaking news. This news occurs nowehere else on google. It is regarding a weird noise you get when you die playing through Story Mode on Timesplitters 2. Here's how to access the noise. Start playing through story mode on Timesplitters 2. Die and then the restart/quit screen comes up with a big floaty blue thing in the background with some loud music. Just put the pad down and listen to the music. It trails off and then you get some scary noises. Then right right right at the end after the scary noises a woman's voice asks "Is that too much?". In the interest of full disclosure here is the email I have sent to LEGEND Graeme Norgate for info: Hi Graeme Huge huge fan! Huge. I became aware of your work through Timesplitters and restrospectively found out you did the music on Killer Instinct too! What a legend. We used to listen to Killer Cuts all the time until the CD wore out. Anyway fandom aside I was playing through Timesplitters 2 again last week (Siberian D