That guy's a Maniac...

This post was going to be a "how-to write a generic games are bad article for newspapers". You know the kind of article that is blindly ignorant of Jenkins' 8 Myths about videogames. I say this post was going to because dirty love rat laughing stock Mario Party "politician" Boris Johnson already did it for us here . We read it in the more cost-less content EDGE this month. We were thinking of making him the That Guy's maniac of the month but then the Telegraph might pick it up and put it on the front page. The Telegraph is allegedly one of only two UK newspapers that employs a person to google the name of the paper every two hours. Any results are then cut and pasted into the letters section to make it look like they have readers. We do that too. All the anonymous comments are secretely us except "I love the way all the comments are between themselves". That's one of Amber's flunkies. Anyway, the thing: Here's a list of phrases and

Hi All! Well a wee while ago I... Ahem... wenttoananimeconvention, and while i was there I thorough the mas variety of Final fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Cosplayers I scoped out the and I quote "Games room". Franky, as i stumbled down the corridor, ambling past some huge pair if black wings from someone dressed us your typical androgynous anime character, with well black wings, my knee's grew weak at the prospect as to what could be behind those mystical doors entitled "Games room". Now I have no idea what to expect, I mean its a Video games room at an anime convention, surely it has to be good right? I mean this must be like the cream of gaming, I mean there may be a few obscure Japanese titles, possibly from a generic anime featuring generic androgynous anime characters, possibly with black wings, but they can be forgiven, as long as there is only a few. As i amble into the room the sight i fall victim to is slightly, shall we say, disheartening. Figure 1

At TGAM we don't care if anyone thinks of games as art or not. Do you remember the early 2000's when you couldn't move for the internets, mags and forums explaining are games art question? Endless touting of Ico or Rez as pure art. All the while in America there were loads of videogame-art exhibitions. Have you noticed how all the posts this year seem to be very nostalgic? Is it because with the exception of "Halo 3 not yet released" is the only news at the moment? Who can say. Anyway. TGAM, one time only, no more discussion; GAMES AS ART. If we were pushed we could put Games under the umbrella of art but I wouldn't. Art and Art Galleries fall under my remit as part of my real work outside of Planet TGAM and if you want to associate Games with pretense, boredom, elitism, waste of time and evolutionary worthless then yes, Games are Art*. All I know is that I'd rather watch final fantasy AMVs set to that song by Linkin Park endlessly than watch David

Today children we are looking at Comic Book Superheroes. We are going to make some sweeping judgements and then try to apply deep philosophy to it just like all those Geeks did to the first matrix. Do you remember that readers? After the first matrix, the people who dressed up as Neo would go around touting how deep the film is and that it touches on some really deep issues. Then someone else dressed as Neo would say "Hey dude!It's not that deep it's just based on this book/anime/thought experiment". Then loads of those media university lecturers wrote books on the Matrix and how it marks a turning point in the late 20th century, cyberpunk became the new stupid thing that hip lecturers and literature teachers would teach in a vain attempt to appear with it and with a finger on the pulse. Do you remember all that reader? Then the Matrix Reloaded came out and pretty much shat on all those people. It was brilliant. But it's time for Comic book superheroes to back

Alright dudes and dudettes TGAM is back. Our temporary exile from this most fantastic blog has mean you guys missed out on some excellent posts: 1) The post that was a parody of this one from UK:Res. Oh man it was pretty funny and included some out of the box fresh images. 2) Our belated game-themed christmas carols sung in the style of you're average yanky warbler like "Saiiiii ay ay ay yai halent hill, Ho oo ooo oo oo oo ly hill ayll is braaiyaiyaiyaiyaiyiayyiayt". That was a genius post I'm telling you. 3) You missed some of Chuff_72's anecdotes like the time he believed he liked Tekken and the time he hated the XBox 360. 4) You missed the congratulations, congratulations, commisserations posts for Richie getting a stunning girl, marrying her and then subsequently she died. Of the face AIDS. 5) Our photo exclusive of what happens when you drink 7 pints of wife-beater (stella artois) or big wkd blues (for Richie) and then play Wario Ware smooth moves on

Howdy y'all, Asyou can see there has been very few actual posts, this is mainly due to, well Blogger annoying the fuck out of me and Cunzy. These annoyances include, Images not loading, Posts not posting, and generally not letting Cunzy do anything. In the mean time please feel free to enjoy the new "Media" section which currently only includes some wallpapers, but we're looking to add to this with other crap soon. P.S. If you haven't already seen, there is also an "About" section including some of the most Frequently asked questions by thatguys fans. And on to of that there is an "Archives" section featuring the best moments from myself and Cunzy. We'll be back with you soon, assuming Blogger sorts itself out.

So the Xmas period is upon us, everyone has got new games for all varieties of systems, and in playing this variety of PS2 RPG's, 360 Shooters, DS throw-away's, and Wii flappers, I got withdrawals. Its buggin me, I quit WoW months ago, but goddamn! It was a good game! Yeah I know, I'm just nostalgic, and possibly rose-tinting the situation. Everything I have been seeing in games recently has been reminding me of WoW and with the Burning Crusade expansion dawning on the horizon, it's on every fucking game site too. So where am I going with this? Bear with me... I'm worried that WoW has ruined my expectations/outlook on games. WoW was shit, there were hideous people online, gold farmers, 40-man raids, even just parting with Twats... But the world was huge, beautifully rendered and the quests were fun (well later on they were fun once it stopped being, kill 20 X, 15 Y and 10 Z, then return to me) and to be honest the levelling system was all you could want in a game. O

It's been a good year for games with 7 consoles releasing some truly brilliant games. What is my choice of the year? Shadow of the Colossus? Gears of War? New Super Mario Bros? Or have we been bunged a load of cash to say Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter? No lady and gentlemen my choice for game of the year 2006 is Timesplitters 2, the finest FPS on any format, possibly excluding all the Residet Evils which are RTS anyway. Why is it so great? Timesplitters 2 is so great because it had everything and it was birthed during the happy phase of gaming before age of cynicism of advertising, bugged to fuck game releases and mediocre copy catting. Go ahead whack it on now remind yourself how good it is, no gangstas, no Halo health system, no EA trax and no episodic releases. The story mode (although lacking a strong plot) is still highly enjoyable now, putting the "acclaimed" story modes of Half Life 2, Gears of War and Final Fantasy XII to shame. The levels are excellently desig

I have had a DS now for a few months now, and well its bugging me, the games are crap and the wi-fi connectivity crap is even worse. I mean I know in theory its all good, but essentially it means you need to have a bunch of like-minded friends who would genuinely go out of their way to connect up and play with you, and also very likely in a room with and Xbox 360, Wii or PS2. Gimmicks in games gave always annoyed me, things like Donkey konga, Dance mats, light sensors, because they well, are usually crap. Recently there has a been a splurge of such gimmicks: Buzz, Guitar hero, Singstar. which have been hits, yet i feel that there is no way i would spend nearly as much time, or get as much enjoyment, with these gimmicks as I would with... oh I dunno... a massive Squenix RPG. And thats whats getting me with the DS all these gimmicks are trying to make me socialize with the socially stunted fucktards that carry their DS's around... Fuck it I want playablity i want... I dont know what

We here at TGAM love fan fiction and we’ve even had a go ourselves . Fan fiction is a great way to flesh out some of the worlds that we know and love. Let’s face it Final Fantasy VII won’t be getting a sequel (except the film and DoC) so it’s up to the fans to carry on the story. The wonderful world of fan fiction can be accessed here but I’ve isolated some of the best bits right here for your reading pleasure: OBLIGATORY FAN FICTION DISCLAIMER Unfortunately, I didn’t write any of the following. The titles for the pieces are given but I haven’t listed the author’s names in case they want to remain anonymous. World Of Warcraft-Kindrel “Drakken began to thrust faster and kiss Kindrel more forcefully. His tail tightened around the both of them. Kindrel let go of Drakken’s tail and began to dig his nails into his massive arms Drakken raised his lower body up into the air making him and Kindrel arc as he felt himself climax. Then they both ejaculated.” A blood elf and a paladin going at

Yeah so, I quit WoW and all that, and as such I have been quite wary about even considering another MMO. However everyone and their uncle has been going on about Second life and how great it is. Now I must state that I just stayed away from it and didn't pay attention to anything about it as well it's an MMO apparently. But then I found out it was free, so I downloaded it. SO after 30Mb downloading, 60Mb installation, and registering , I found that Second life is no more than a glorified Chat Program! There is nothing to this program, admittedly you can change your avatar to an almost infinite degree, which to be honest seemed like dressing a doll, but with more slide bars. Then you go interact with a bunch of online social fuckwit s , which to be honest is the bit I hate when playing online , Will Fcuk 4 Gold , ROTFLOL , ugh. And yeah that's pretty much it ... I have no fucking Idea why anyone can honestly say that a chat program like this cou

Yeah thats right not one game I want this Christmas. Sure there are games I want but not one than I look forward to to buying for myself as a well earned chirstmas present to spend quality time with whilst scoffing mint matchsticks and spicy twiglets after a Christmas meal. Lets take a little looky shall we? Dear Santa Here is a kind of open Christmas letter. Don't worry about getting any of it though, I doubt even you could get your merry little hands on some these. 1) Xbox 360. Still too expensive and there's no reason to buy one now that the Wii and PS3 are technically 'out' in the UK one of them might be better than gears of war or dead rising. Let's face it I'm not going to pay to go online after the free account expires anyway. I know the PS3 isn't technically out but you still won't be able to get one 1-4 months after it officially launches anyway. 2) Wii If I could get hold of one I can honestly say I don't want to play any of the 'games

Hey, are you a gamer? Have you somehow managed to get a girlfriend? Xmas shopping getting you down? If the answers to these questions are yes then look no further than here, it's: The That Guy's a Maniac guide to buying presents for your girlfriend if you are a gamer/geeky gadget boy. Ohmibod: First reviewed in August this year, this is a Vibrator add-on for the iPod and features penetrative vibrator only. iBuzz: This is the hottest of the products this year, we reviewed this bad boy in July, however if you check out the new website (Which also details the recent scandal apple have been having with iBuzz's marketing campaign), you will also see that there is the iBuzz2. This latest update to the iBuzz includes not 1 but 2 attachments allowing guys to use the attachment as well as/or even at the same time as their female partners. Reviews: Fanboy#29 + Girl (real, but with 1 eye missing) "Its like having sex but not as good" Richie "Where does that bit go? N

Season's greetings! It took me ages to make this but I want a list of all the characters and games by the end of today. P.S. Merry Christmas* P.P.S Yes we here celebrate Christmas which is technically homophobic but watcha gonna do?

Soooooo last night Richie and I had the first official That Guy's Reunion funded by all your hard-donated money. We made the decision to play games for drinks drinking a shot every time we got beaten in Super Smash Brothers, Wario Ware Inc. or Resident Evil DS. This of course was forgetting that we suck at Super Smash Brothers when sober. We also found an even better drink than Cockspur the unofficial inspirer of TGAM . That's right, Mount Gay Rum . 2 pints, 2 JD + Cokes and 80% of a bottle of Mount Gay later we did this and then this and then this . At the time it was the funniest thing ever. Now it brings back memories of being quite wasted at about 7 o clock in the evening. Nevermind it's all being charged to the TGAM business account. We then watched Advent Children. I gave a brief lecture on Mo-capping which was pretty much just me saying mo-cap continuosly for ten or so minutes. Also, Richie announced that: " Owning 12 testicles means that at least

Mental! Phones have internet...

Mental! Phones have internet...

So this is me and cunzys first actual post together since the whole that guys phenomenon ever started. thats a wrap people. wnak

Right so that's KH2 finished, with the secret movie unlocked, so what now? Where does it go from here? I mean they have pretty much exhausted every Disney movie plot, hell! "Pirates of the Caribbean" was pushing it anyway! I had some thoughts... Kingdom hearts 3: The Soaps Sora is joined by Pat Butcher and Ken Barlow to travel the worlds, revisit old plot lines and defeat the heartless in Albert Square (Eastenders), Coronation St, Emerdale, Brookside Close, Chester (Hollyoaks). All the worlds, as it turns out, are controlled by Ultimacia the Time/Space witch from FF8. Mickey has collaborated with Edea to rid Utimacia's taint from all these worlds, expect Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, Cid, Sephiroth and the all the usual Disney characters to help out. Kingdom hearts 3: Alien Vs Predator Sora is joined by Ripley and Predator #6 to defeat the Face Hugger Heartless. Malificent has fused with the Alien Queen spawning these "face hugger heartless", these speci