R.I.P Old Friend

This is the eulogy I gave at a recent friend's funeral. Sorry for the mushiness but I'm just so upset :(

It felt like we never really got to know you, you were taken from us too early. When you first walked into our lives, we were full of darkness and violence but you were like a ray of light through the dark. You had such a sense of fun just like your old man.

The reason you aren't here today is immediately obvious, you just weren't supported here. Overly long "Localisation" processes, zero visibility in many stores especially GAYM, expensive second hand games, months and months with less single format releases than the Xbox 360. Yet look at those you brought to us; Eternal Darkness, Super Smash Brothers, Resident Evil 4, Pikmin and Animal Crossing to name but a few. You showed us the full extent of what could be done with limited gubbinz under the hood when other formats were releasing rubbish clones of old games but, even back then the beginning of your end had already begun. Resident Evil 4, hailed by all who played it on you as the greatest game of all time, showed the world your potential yet it wasn't until the release on the Playstation 2 that it really took off and as the PS2 basked in the flashing lights of photographers you stood in the shadows, whispering "But it was on me first, it was me."

I see the GBA is here, everyone knew that you two would have a very passionate relationship as soon as the GBA-GC Cable came out. For the first time we got to know the interconnectivity that you kept going on about, but it wasn't enough. One or two games worth buying all the gear for until the developers gave up they wanted a new gimmick.

Now that you are gone, it is up to our new friends the DS and the Wii to carry on the legacy. You were never as ground breaking as your older relatives and it is unlikely that you'll be recorded in the history books, yet you won't fade into obscurity, not in the hearts of us, who, maybe just for one or two games saw the true platform you were, fun, beautiful and unique.
Fucking stupid ass Nintendo how could you give up on it! HOW COULD YOU!!
R.I.P Gamecube (2001-2006)

Comments

Cunzy11 said…
Goodbye England's rose
May you ever stay under our TV’s
You were the grace that placed itself
Where Sony had torn apart
You called out to our country
And you whispered to those in pain
Now you belong to the bargain bin
And black marker spells out your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a console in the wind
Never releasing good games
Until 2 years after America and Japan
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your console burned out long before
Your potential ever did

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For Japan’s purple child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a console in the wind
Never releasing good games
Unless GAME needed to get rid of 200 copies of Rugrats TOG
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your console burned our long before
Your potential ever did

Goodbye England's rose
May you ever stay under our TV’s
You were the grace that placed itself
Where Sony had torn apart
Goodbye England's rose
From a country lost without your console
Who'll miss the whizz of your little disks
More than you'll ever know
Chuff_72 said…
Just a bit shit though really wasn't it.
Cunzy11 said…
Yeah, it was, it was
Anonymous said…
Ah, but what will be the first of the newborn to fall?

Ps3? Wii?
XBox360?(KILL KILL - HINT) DS? or the PSP? :P

I still have a NGC and its not dead, its ALIVE, ALIVE I tell ya - just wait til Twilight Princess comes out, then you'll see.

(Humm, Twilight Princess? apt perhaps?)
Chuff_72 said…
All those consoles will last until the next-next generation, there's simply too much money riding on them for any to fail, I think we may have seen the end of imploding consoles *cough* Gizmondo, Phantom, N-Gage *cough*.

The one to be phased out first will probably be the PSP as its got NO NEW SOFTWARE and will be replaced with a better-faster-shinier model within a year or two. And Nintendo are yet to release their next-gen Gameboy, which will lead to the "Sponge Bob" syndrome on the DS.

Oh yeah, OMG 71|<3 -|-/-/3|'5 4 C-1|'7 ()|\| -|-/-/4-|- C-(_)'/5!!!
dr wo 69 said…
Chuff you missed the 1, (!!!1)

Woohoo I know that in the southern region so far 1633 people are going to be owning a Wii at Christmas time, oh yeah!!! I'm gonna be there at midnight!!! Woop!!! Cunzy we got 8 cubes at £30 each if you want to save them all from toddler hell!!! Pick up Metal Gear for £25 as well!!!
Cunzy11 said…
Somebody save the cubes!

Fuck Whales, Seals or people, why aren't charities working to save the little purple boxes. They never hurt no-one, they only sought to bring joy
Chuff_72 said…
OMG all we need to do is buy 2 GC's 4 ilink cable, 4 tvs, 16 joypads, 4 memory cards and 4 copies of the games and we can finally play TimeSplitters how we've always wanted to!

OH, IT'S ON!!!

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