Soul Calibur Wankery

Right no doubt you have already heard but Soul Calibur Has both Darth Vader AND Yoda in it:

Brilliant, inspired, inclusions to the game. But not content with this Thatguys would like to prepare a list of Smash-bros-esque characters w want in the next Soul Calibur.

1. Zoro

From One piece, you just have to love this guys unique design, as he holds 3 swords. Soul Calibur has touched on pretty much every design of weapon out there, even creating a deadly Hula-hoop. The 3-sword design would be an interesting addition.

2. Final Fantasy Heroes

You know I’m only gonna touch on this briefly, everyone wants fucking Cloud and Sephiroth in there. But fuck it, my vote goes fro Squall/Leon from FF8, and the again interesting weapon, The Gunblade. (yeah I know Cervantes has a Gun in his sword too, not the same AND you know it)

3. Master Chief/Arbiter

Get them both in there with the Energy sword and/or the Gravity hammer!!!

4. Link/Spawn/Heihatchi

The guys from the Gamecube/Xbox/PS2 (respectively) versions of Soul Calibur 2, get them all in there.

5. Altaïr

Ha, he uses swords and has that cool Hidden blade… Why the fuck not. Though he does look a bit like Zasalamel.

6. Pyramid Head

Already a popular mod in Oblivion, Pyramid Head would make a perfect counter point to those emo inspired FF characters.

7. Dante

Perhaps not actually. No definitely not. He would be OU within days. Stupid Dante appealing to the "alternative" crowd. And, whilst we're talking about him (again), no, the anime was shit and you're a cretin for pretending to like it.

8. ?????

We don't know who this character is but they should definitely be included, perhaps with Kabutops as an alt costume?

9. The Companion Cube

Yes, it's this years Katamari. Are you middle aged? Are you a blogger? Feeling painfully uncool? Post images/songs/drawings of the companion cube from portal. Something Awful guys think it's funny and for a fraction of a second you might just appear to be 'cool'. No list of 2008 would be complete without the Companion Cube from Portal so here's our token effort. Hell, we might even pretend we have played Portal if it'll get us into the party.

And that's How, for now.

Richie & Cunzy x x

P.S Sorry for the Slow Start this year but let's face it, there's fuck all going on in games in January.


  1. Anonymous17:09

    yea some nice choices there but don't you think your missing out one vital person who would make the game a worldwide sell out and the best game on this earth??????????? yea you got it!!!!!!!!!! alex the kid with the right moves of paper,sissors and rock and with thee ability of making your pants fall to your ankles without touching you and absolutely humilliating you in front of everyone on stage, a contender not to mess with.

  2. You forgot about Mr. Wobbly leg too.

    Champ, champ, champ, champ, champ OW! Champ, champ de de champ champ. Ooooh. Champ champ etc.

  3. Anonymous02:09

    Scyther, is your unknown there.


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