So this is what we call a heart warming family reunion

Hey kids it's time for a triforce-esque update from me and some of the things I've been up to:

1) This weekend was That Guy's A Maniac Mini-Con 2007! Following the success of TGAM Con and TGAM con 2 son of TGAM Con and TGAM Con 2 was a great success. I finally busted the dirty sequel to TGAM's 2006 Game of the Year, Timesplitters Future Perfect, accidentally. It started by me showing Chuff_72 and Quadbee how hard the last four challenges were to get a gold on. I ended up getting two platinums and two golds so that's another game 100%ed! Many games were played, by many I mean mostly three: Quake 2, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles and Dinotopia: Something About Suntone Pirates. Quake 2 was probably king and we managed to get a hall of fame all star line up for some Quakage, the likes of which have not been seen for some years- Quadbee, Chuff_72, Robisgay and Cunzy1 1. We also got to the last level of FFCC.
Dinotopia Sunstone Pirates is a pretty awful game but I got quite far by imagining the main character had white hair. That way he looks like Dante and not like Frodo sodding Baggins.THAT WAY IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A DEVIL MAY CRY GAME WITH DINOSAURS IN IT ON THE GBA. Which, for a long time has been a favourite wet dream of mine.

2)Inspired by Devil May Dinotopia at TGAM Mini Con 2007, I finally beat Devil May Cry 3 on Normal mode. It turns out I just had to try a bit rather than turning it on periodically and trying to beat Dante without really remembering the controls. Who'd a thunk it?

3) I went to a conference about Second Life but I didn't mention to anyone that it was full of perverts who need more than emoticons from their chat programs. No one did a talk about it's uses for children touchers either which was disappointing to say the least.

4) I drank a lot of alcohol, for a long time but it was one of those "drink forever and not get drunk" times and I'm one of those people who is happy to admit that I drink to get drunk. Why do people always say that they don't drink to get drunk? Do you like the taste of beer really? Really? Or do you just like to spend a lot of money on drinks for fun.

5) Played a bit of Super Smash Brothers with Quadbee. Fox and Falco are officially cunts. Seriously.

6) Played and pretty much busted Pokemon Channel. It is the greatest game of all time. Essentially you sit and watch TV with Pikachu but in a game. That is it really. I've decided that it is TGAM's Game of the Year 2007 despite the fact that it wasn't released in 2007 and that the Gamecube was dead in 2007. I'm going to write a lengthy EDGE style wankfest where I compare Pikachu to Faust and Guy Fawkes and then ramble on about Gibson. It is going to start like this "the sounds of hot man syrup pit-a-patting on the floor increased until it was an inexorable continuous sound as the Nintendo logo filled the screen and the enigmatic shriek of 'Pikachu' resonated around my already wet ear lobe".

7) I bought a copy of EDGE to practice my ritin for my End of Year game of the year review. May's issue has a fine example of how to write a seven page long piece of crap. Check out the "Play pen" article. It's too EDGE for even EDGE. Firstly it's about writing in games (snoooooze+10 wankery points), secondly it's seven pages long (+25 wankery points) and the whole thing is practically unreadable unless you are the kind of person who thinks that they actually enjoy Second Life for reasons other than sexing with other men pretending to be women (+100 wankery points). Extra wankery points are awarded for the over use of the words cinematic, medium, dialect and incongruous. The reader's letters are pretty awful too, they're trying too hard to get a job by writing wankery. The last letter ends "How many more adults would play Metal Gear Solid if it really was an Oedipal tragedy?". Come on, I'm not even lying either but the answer is "Significantly less people should think that they should write to EDGE whilst watching themselves 'fluff the pillow' in their mirror after taking a heavy dose of wank pills".

Cunzy out


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