Friday, February 29, 2008

Position Vacant: AGAIN!

Cunzy is involved in some covert-ops deep in the heart of the Hoenn region.

as such...

Position - Guest Writer

We at are currently recruiting new and original talent to "Audition" for the post of contributor.

Job Description
The role is varied but mostly involves ranting in written form. Where possible, throw in Video game, Resident evil, anime, Final Fantasy, and sexual references.

Skills Required
- Semi-literate in English.

- Strong background in Resident Evil.
- Hatred for gamer blogs.
- No concept of teamwork.

March 1st 2008 onwards

Position Based In
Front of your PC

Pay Rate

Please mail an article with subject of your choosing to Articles can range from 1 - 5,000 words, pictures are optional. The favoured articles will be printed and will go down in Thatguys history for all to remember.


Richie X

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Mario Kart

Ugh Nintendo... what the fucking fuck are you thinking!!

1. The wheel is retarded!!! honestly, I'm annoyed it ships with it, more crap to fill up my house, I'll put it next to* the limited edition 360 art booklets, PS2 guitar, Nintendoscope, and Halo 3.

2. Mario Kart Wii... Well that's an original name... How ever did you come up with it!

3. Here is where I'm supposed to bitch about voice chat or communication online, but I ain't gonna, I don't care. When I played the first Mario Kart on the SNES I was merely a fresh faces adolescent. then I moved onto the N64 and got Mario Kart 64, and then the Gamecube and Mario Kart: Double Dash. Now I'm in my mid/late 20's and my friends and I have been known to break out double dash, 64 and the original SNES version have a few battles, Grand Prix's etc. My point is, the addition of the wheel is for kids... Mario Kart's fan base is mostly people around my age, and it should cater for them. In fact Nintendo should be catering for us in general, and not via virtual arcades we want new games... we want to play Mario Kart with some dignity**.

4. In fact, fuck it branded*** Wii for sale. Any takers?

*The bin.
** As opposed to flailing about like some one with a mental deficiency.
***I licked it.

Fuckety fuck fuck.


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Under the Radar

Woah! The game based on Lost (360/PC/PS3) is out at the end of this week. When did that happen? Last I heard about it was that it was being made... and now it's being released. From what I have seen it looks pretty snazzy, though it doesn't have the original voice cast, which may end up being quite jarring. The reviews have all been quite positive. Still can't believe this one escaped me...

Also due out this week:

Lost Oddesey (Note: Pre-order this bad-boy from HMV)
Beautiful Katamari

Bye bye Paycheck -.-


Richie X

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Front Magazine's Steve Beech: An Interview

Hey all,

After getting really excited about Front Magazine's great work on the Devil May Cry Images, we decided to get some input from the great minds behind these genius works of art!

So we spoke with Front magazine's Art Director: Steve Beech

Where did the idea for replacing Dante and Nero with a female model come from?
Well, we were approached by the lovely people at Capcom after they saw a similar project we did for Call of Duty 4 and they just asked so nicely we couldn’t say no.

Are you a fan of the Devil May Cry series?
To be honest I am not a big gamer (although a lot of the staff here are) even though I have worked on a few gaming titles in the past, but I generally like the whole look of the game as I love Manga films and thought that I could get that energy across with the lovely Vikki Blows.

What do you think of Devil May Cry 4?
I think it looks like a really slick game, and the graphics and artwork kick ass.

Are you an Xbox 360 man or a PS3 man?
I play the 360 in the office when we have clocked out after gawping at women all day. I rock at Guitar Hero and suck at Pro Evo.

What is the next big title you are looking forward to?
Space Harrier 2? LOL

Are there any other games that you would consider doing something similar too?
Something like Metal Gear Solid would look pretty ace I reckon.

Could I persuade you to do something similar for the ladies of the Resident Evil series?
Yeah, they are dead sexy.

Do you reckon, since games have much nicer graphics, we can expect to see more of these types of images?
Yeah I reckon, the higher quality of the graphics gives much more to play with when it comes to dropping the real life girl over the top without the two looking too separate.

Games have gotten a lot of bad press recently with rating violence, sex and nudity. What's your standpoint on the recent government involvement in the censorship of violent or sexual games?
I have no problem with the violent content in games, it’s just the same as films and music at the end of the day, kids will always get their hands on it. But more sex in games can’t be too bad can it?

Who would win in a fight, Vikki Blows or Dante?
Vikki, coz she gave me a look on the shoot after a bad joke that said more than any lethal blow could do.

Will we ever see the Vikki Blows images as downloadable content for the 360?
I’m sure, just keep looking on the Capcom site or FRONT’s MySpace ( Once the mag is off the shelf we will release the naughtier images as wallpapers.

Can I have Vikki's number? You know… for work purposes…
She communicates only by smoke signals, sorry.

There you have it...

Steve, you are a God, thankyou for putting those images into the world.

We at are forever indebted to you.

Buy it!!! March 1st!

Love n Hugs,

Richie X.

Devil May Cry 4: Bestest. Cosplay. Ever.

Wewt!! more Devil may cry 4 images, apparently the model is called Vikki Blows (Classy). The entire staff at Thatguys wish to cordially invite you to take our hand in marriage.

We take it back Kotaku... you provided us with this image, you aren't all bad. Except for the silly fish on the bewbs, what's going on there?

Luv n Hugs

Richie X

George Romero vs. Capcom. The company line

Kotaku reports here and here that The MKR Group, who hold the rights to George Romero films, is suing Capcom for similarities between Dead Rising and Dawn of The Dead. This is a sad day indeed, hopefully Capcom will come up trumps but I have my doubts and so do all our buddies at Capcom HQ who as we speak are burning all their production notes, we managed to photocopy some of them before they were destroyed.

Capcom production notes! Artists impressionBut fear not! Either way Capcom wins! If the law suit fails then hopefully Capcom will make infinity more Dead Risings set in malls. If the law suit is a success then Capcom can successfully sue any bastard who makes a game or film that includes the following:

Bad voice acting and zombies
Zombies Elephants
Zombie Sharks
Zombie Crocodiles
Zombies in a Zoo
Zombies in a mansion
Zombies in a police station
Zombies in Arklay mountains
Zombies on a train
Zombies on an underground train
Zombies on a tram
Zombies on an island
Zombies in a military facility
Zombie dogs
Zombies that vomit harmful liquid
Fat zombies
Zombies that hide in cupboards and/or lockers
Zombies in a cosmetics lab
Paintings with puzzles
Zombies in a guardhouse
Zombies in the sewers
Zombies that make a clik-clak sound when they walk
FMV zombies
Zombies in an underground laboratory
Zombies on a train turntable
Zombies on a boat
Spanish zombies that secretely are not zombies
Zombies called Marvin
Zombies called Marvin that have a striking similarity to the actor Will Smith
Reporters in jail cells that break in half
Mayors in torture dungeons that break in half
Eyeballs in shoulders
Zombie leeches, worms, moths and crows
Lickers, Hunters etc.
Top of the range elite bioweapons created with their hearts on the outside of their bodies
Mutated plants
Scientists who inject themselves with their own virus and then stalk about trying to impregnate their own daughters
Bioweapons that say "S.T.A.R.S"
Zombie like mutated dinosaurs in space
Bioweapons on emergency evacuation trains that used to resemble a man type thing but then go on to resemble a diseased vagina*
Joe Kendo
Spinning bird kicks

Surely Hollywood would come to a standstill! Good luck MKR, try opening that can of worms and bring the zombie horror film genre to it's knees!

*Last time we mentioned vagina we got a into trouble with all the gamefem blogs. So before you type a complaint, play resident evil 2 on the B scenario get to the end of the game and SPOILERS fight the thing in the train and tell us it doesn't remotely resemble a diseased sideways smile. If you can't do that then 00:18 seconds here gives you some idea or watch this.

Devil May Cry 4: Best. Cosplay. Ever.

Seth over at the Capcom blog has found some real gems! Front Magazine has done some rather original photo shoots involving the DMC characters but with (semi-naked) girls instead!

The magazine will be published on 1st March with all the pics, including some nudey ones!!! will be all over this, expect some NSFW post in the near future.

Kudos Front, Kudos...


Richie X

Films are the new games!

Yes they are. Remember when everyone was all about the "yes games are art, yes they make you cry". Who ever cried at a game? The nearest I came to crying was when Richie and I were two-TV, no save, speed running Resident Evil 2 and I died at the end boss. Damn, now I'm welling up again just thinking about it. However, there is a new platform of media that makes people cry. I give you: Pokemon the first movie.

Ah jesus. Where's my inhalerWatch it and cry* like a girl unless you are so heartless. Cold and heartless heathen.

*Not gay crying you understand. Fake allergy crying. We've all got them right? Right?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Tomato Juice and Black Umbrella

Rocco's modern life
Sup maniacs? We were at GDC and we've had precious little blogging time so here's a brief catch up in the form of a numbered list:

1) The Guiness World Records: Gamer's Edition is now out (already reduced by 33% in many shops) and it is worth picking up in the future when it is somewhere around the £5 mark. Packed with a lot of tenuous records and inaccuracies but it's worth ignoring the blindingly obvious mistakes (Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 3 are not PlayStation2 games, why didn't anyone consult us?) to discover some lesser known gaming related gems. So for example, did you know that David Lynch directed the PS2 'Third Place' adverts? Or that the PSOne could connect to a number of Sony mobile phones? I don't know what they could do when they were connected but you could do it. In Japan.

2) Both myself and Richie have had our IPs banned from the Resident Evil Wiki for trying to add the articles "Jill Sammich" and "That Guy's A Maniac". Quite frankly a "Resident Evil wiki" without those articles is a misnomer. They don't even have an article on Akuma for christ's sake. So in facetious spite we looked at all 1843 articles on the REwiki over a gruelling two days and discovered 1223 and 1/2 mistakes and didn't correct them! Ha! Wiki that arseholes.
3) Despite claiming to quite like the Resident Evil Series neither of us had ever played the reportedly bad Resident Evil Outbreak.... until now that is! And yes. It's bad. Here's a brief list of things that are wrong: story is non canon :(, characters can make vocalisations that are pointless offline, way too many cutscenes (14 cutscenes on the first level, a level which takes about 14 minutes if you are fast so that's one cutscene per minute of gameplay! Must be a record Guiness!), AI characters are frankly arseholes and will run off or just refuse to follow commands despite getting mauled in the face and the dub on some of the cutscenes is completely different to the subtitles. This list is not comprehensive but all these issues do mount up and unfortunately bring the score down to 9/10: best game on the PS2. It could have been so much more though.

4) Someone needs to go to Tim Buckley's house and check that he's taking the proper meds. First there is this ridiculous I'm not too sure what it even is "storyline" that smacks a bit too much of Bouncer's Dream in Neighbours. Be it an early mid-life crisis or a bad break up, someone should check on Tim. You know, just in case.....

5) GDC was okay but as with every year, a bunch of Peter Molyneux's and Peter Molyneux himself were bigging up the "next big things in gaming" (online gaming apparently). I think they meant to say Brain Training 3, Halo 4 and shit like Mario and Sonic at the Olympic games. The sandwiches at GDC were really nice although next year some kind of sticker or flag to highlight which ones are fish, vegetarian or meat would save some valuable time.

6) After hunting 6 different high street shops I managed to pick up a copy of Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles. It's a nice little game, a bit too easy perhaps but nice nonetheless despite being a bit non canon thus confusing the new kids who weren't there from the beginning. Nonetheless 10/10 best game on the Wii.

7) Following the purchase of RE:Outbreak I've been skimming a lot of FAQs recently and this is a formal public service notice to FAQ writers: There is no need for the sections: version history, author's notes, disclaimers, special thanks or game controls sections. No one ever reads that shit and no one cares if Jigglypuff12 helped you out on the section about where to take upskirt screenies. Just skip to the bits where you start giving up the information straight away if people can't work out the controls themselves then I doubt they can translate your broken english anyway and I imagine they are beyond help in the first place.

So that's what we've been up to campers, what sandwiches have you been avoiding recently?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Web 3.60

Today Nintendo confirm 4 people are aware that the Wii can go online
You know what has been bothering me for a while? Aside from the gradual decline of our ecosystem and natural resources....

Why doesn't the 360 have a web browser? I mean its connected to the net, it has that controller addon-keyboardy-thing. surely just getting Internet Explorer (or even Opera god-forbid) on there, wouldn't be the craziest idea.

360 browser Pros:
1. Online sign ups for clans.
2. Youtube.
3. on your 360.
4. Email with background notifications.
5. Direct links in-game to Gamer sites for 360 content.
6. Achievement points.
(Achievement Unlocked: You looked at porn 10 Gamer Points)
(Achievement Unlocked: You looked at Nintendo's website 0 Gamer points)
7. Online Rankings without going in-game.
8. Settling IMDb arguments.
9. Xbox live bandwidth could be transferred to different sites/hosts. reducing the lag on XBLA.
10. Porn.

Luv n' hugs.

Richie xxx

Friday, February 15, 2008

Racoon City Times

On our trails through the blogosphere we stumbled upon this site: Racoon City Times. Of course straight away we were amused to see another Resident evil themed blog. Immediately, of course, we at TGAM chuckled at the glaringly obvious typo of "Raccoon" but with only one "C". As no strangers to tyops ourselves, we decided to overlook this and check out the content. As we are a games blog we shall review this blog in a games review style.

When you first start Racoon City Times there are a few things that strike you: The site is black, blatantly a rip-off of the old TGAM layout, even down to the font. The Silent hill Banner gets you confused as to what message this blogger is sending is it a resident evil site, is it a Silent hill site. And finally if you are going to use an obscure off-topic banner, at least try to make it fit the rest of your blog.

The Racoon City Times name conjures up images of a news report site from with in Resident evil, perhaps even a themed blog for resident evil news. I have the keys right here officer but I'm not about to leave this cell

Hell maybe even a fanfic style blog from one of the reporters in Raccoon City (You must be Ben. Right? Get up!). But after the first couple of posts you are starting to see a trend which goes against all of your preconceptions, and not in a good way, you find yourself glancing over all the articles in the hope of getting the Resident Evil flavour that the title of this blog suggests. But to no avail... As you scroll further and further down you will realise there are no Resident Evil posts, you then scan over to the Labels, you see:
Obscure, Silent hill, Project Zero... And no Resident Evil.

Graphics: 1/10
Content: 1/10
Layout: 0/10

Overall score for Racoon City times: 1/10 (Abysmal)

Common Ground

Today marks an important day in the world of bloggers, Today TGAM and UK:R* have found a jpg which we could both Fap-off to, a common ground to spill our seed on.

Resident Evil meets Sonic!

*For those of you who dont know, UK:R is a lesser known video games blog, they are like us, but not quite as funny, and rather than being obsessed with Resident evil, they are obsessed with Sonic (ghey).

Luv n Hugs,

Richie XX

Resident Evil: Competition

Yay! A resident evil post. Been a while... This time annoyingly its a non-canon film related post.

This Monday marks the release of the third resident evil movie. In celebration of this, the UK website has a competition where you train up your Zombie in anticipation of "Alice" charging in and killing all the Zombies, the last one standing will win home theatre kits and copies of the movie on DVD and BluRay.

There are 2 things you can do to train your Zombie:
1. Feed - increases your strength.
2. Keep Fit - increases your agility.

Though one does counter the other, if you feed, your agility goes down, and if you keep fit, you Strength goes down, so in theory a balanced Zombie will have 50% Strength and 50% Agility.

I have no idea what the most beneficial stats would be.

in anycase Monday 9 am Alice gets let loose.

Good luck and Laters.

Richie xxx

Thursday, February 07, 2008

On the 1st day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 1st day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Doing things in the wrong order.

Much like the order of these posts, is it a countdown? Like the twelve days of Xmas… is it and advent calendar? Who knows.

But yeah doing things in the wrong order. All of the missions in Devil May cry can be played completely out of order… I don’t know how many of you out there have actually done this, but I always forget what order the missions occur in and find that I just try my best choose the missions with bosses.

This is the last in the series of the Days of Dante-mas. Next Devil May Cry you hear from us will be a review or rantings.

Check out all the posts here.

Anyways, I’m cutting this post short as I have better things to do… i.e. play DMC4, I got it early… One of the perks of being in the games industry. YAAAS


Richie X

Apple Valentines?

So Apple are releasing a 32GB version of the iPod touch... Just in time for Valentines day.

Fuck spending £329 on your partner!! Seriously!!

and that tag line... "A little touch of romance." Who ever came up with that needs dragged out in to the street and their throat slit.

I would like to suggest "Like most Apple fans you will spent most of Valentines day touching yourself."


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

On the 2nd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Dante's first day at a new school
Richie: Today on this 2nd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: NOT THIS FUCKING IMAGE!!!

Cunzy: It's wrong. Just wrong.

Richie: Someone clearly wasn't paying attention to Devil May Cry 3.

Cunzy: Someone clearly never played Devil May Cry 3.

Richie: Shit man, maybe this is the super secret ending on hard.

Cunzy: You're right. Sorry, SPOILERS everyone.

Richie: Why would someone do this?

Cunzy: Imagine getting up in the morning with the intent of creating that image.

Richie: I love Deviant Art though. It's like a mind reading website.

Cunzy: I'm all like, you know what I haven't seen but would like to see? Two half demon brothers from that game series I played about to get it on.

Richie: I want them to be looking into each others eyes longingly.

Cunzy: BINGO! Deviant art delivers every time.

Richie: Art galleries would be filled with shit like this if it wasn't for any kind of quality control.

Cunzy: Thank the lord for those art QC guys.

Richie: I bet Belial has never played a Devil May Cry game.

Cunzy: I bet Belial had to try really hard to not put a heart above the "i" in her name instead of a dot or period as they say in America.

Richie: Are the ones above i's called periods too?

Cunzy: No one knows for sure.

Richie: There's probably a fan fiction to go with this image on

Cunzy: Yeah, with those disclaimers at the top. "These characters are not created by me or anything to do with me"

Richie: "I've never played Devil May Cry but I love the chars"

Cunzy: As if Capcom browse looking for copyright infringement.

Richie: Hey guys! Someone is using our characters without our permission!

Cunzy: Lets sue the fuckers!

Richie: The fanfiction is probably titled Dante's first day at a new school.

Cunzy: Yeah, he gets bullied and hates his parents.

Richie: Fortunately, though the popular boy Vergil takes Dante under his wing.

Cunzy: And up the shitter.

Richie: Then they both came in all three positions

Cunzy: "Part two will be posted any day soon" reads the thread dated March 2007.

Richie: I bet Belial is a man.

Cunzy: I bet Belial has the bottom half of this image but couldn't get the hands right so scrapped it.

Richie: I bet Belial thinks Linkin Park rocks.

Cunzy: I bet Belial wishes she had a sister.

Richie: Or a friend.

Cunzy: I'm going to blow this image up and paste it on billboards everywhere.

Richie: Games make young women gay!

Cunzy: But gay strictly in the man sense.

Richie: It's hard to stress that without some kind of qualifying statement.

Cunzy: I hate homosexual men trapped in the bodies of straight women.

Richie: It's a hard knock life.


Richie and Cunzy X X

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Brain Training Racist

Brain Training is racist against people who can't speak english properly. The BBC has the "story". And although we don't like to point any fingers if you can't say "Blue" then you shouldn't hope too much for your brain age or expect much from society at large really.

Next week on the BBC:

Employers racist against people who are not fit to do the job they are at interview for.

Milk racist to people who can't drink milk because they are allergic or lactose intolerant.

Sky racist against people who cannot fly.

Video games racist against people who are not very good at video games.

Touch screens racist against people who have no physical body through which to touch.

Life saving medical surgery procedures racist against the dead and extinct.

BBC racist against intelligent people who don't like lazy journalism churned out sensationalist shit.

On the 3rd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 3rd day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Bosses!

One of the most appealing parts of the game is the boss characters. Huge and amazingly detailed enemies with the usual patterns to interpret and counter.

In the DMC series most of the boss characters take the form of huge mythical beasts such as Cerberus, Beowulf (a Behemoth of some sort, not Ray Winstone) or a Griffon. Though I have always found that humanoid bosses are always the scariest. Neo Angelo, Vergil, Lady etc.

For those of you who downloaded the demo, you have seen that you can play against one of the boss characters, a big horsey fire demon with a big sword. And the fight is so fucking pretty, I'm glad to see that the bosses haven't changed that much.


Richie X

Monday, February 04, 2008

On the 4th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 4th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Cameos

This has been touched upon in another post from Cunzy.

Dante has appeared in:

Viewtiful Joe:

Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne:

He also, showed up in Capcom Fighting Jam, and has a card in SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighter.

But the biggest kick to the crotch is… and get this… he was supposed to turn up in Soul Calibur 3!!! Well fingers crossed for Soul Calibur IV… Can you imagine it Darth Vader Vs Dante… I would pay good money to see ol’ silver hair kick the crap out of faggy Annie Skywalker and his pod-racing, virgin-birth, Portman-loving ways.


Richie X

Friday, February 01, 2008

On the 5th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 5th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Shooting guns in mid-air and thus defying gravity.

Fucking brilliant hovering whilst firing off "Ebony and Ivory" so, so cool.


Richie X

On the 6th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 6th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Vergil

Vergil is an odd one… Dante’s twin brother. He’s one of the main antagonists of Devil May Cry 3, he also gets to be a playable character in the special edition. But crazily enough this dude is also a sub-boss in the first Devil May Cry. This doesn’t sit that well with me: Vergil Starts off in DMC with a Katana then gets ubered-out and starts using a big-ass two handed sword… I suppose it shouldn’t vex me that much, Dante does use a guitar…


Richie X

On the 7th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us…

Today on this 7th day of Dante-mas, Capcom gave to us: Nevan

Nevan? Nevan is the name of one of the weapons you can get in Devil May Cry 3. And it’s a guitar, and honest to god guitar! The guitar changes into a scythe, it has lightning and shoots fucking bats… I mean seriously that is fucking amazing…

Nuff said.


Richie X