That guy's a Maniac...

Well following on from my last post raving on about how great the emulator version of Ocarina of time is Graphically and entirely. I decided to dig out all the old N64 games I had and, straight up, create a collection of all my old N64 games and have them running in some oddly-polygony HD glory. Sadly none of them work. My top 5 of my favourite games for the N64 that dont work on an Emulator. (click the images for full rez versions) Mario 64. Mario actually ran quite well despite some visible games between walls, but I'm sure they were there in the fist place. However, there were many areas where things were just not visible first example being the first bonus slide: Closer you got to the slide the more it would disappear, so annoying. 4. Shadows of the Empire. This one I was really looking forward to, I remember this game quite fondly, one of the most under-rated launch titles. However, once you get past this screen, the menus are a garbled mess: 3. Super Smash Bros. Th

The 3DS hasn't sold a bajillion bajillion copies. Which is a massive failure as everything should sell more than the last thing that sold the most. Forever. Cue cut and washed articles about it. By the family bucket load . TGAM doesn't have one. Here's why: 1) We already have, on average 3 DSes each in various shapes sizes and colours. According to our Peruvian ancestry four is an unlucky number so until one breaks we won't be getting one. If only Microsoft made DSes then we'd probably have to get a new DS every week (amirite?) b) The DSiXL only came out last week. The protective sheet is still attached. C) 3D is to gaming like the discovery of a third nipple during intercourse (yours or theirs) with someone you've paid a lot of money to. It is just a bit weird, not really what you wanted and leaves you feeling that sometimes more isn't actually better. )) The average length of a DS game is around 4000000 hours with all those RPGs (including the one with the

For the last 10 years, the consumer electronics industry has been converging towards mobile. At one point you would have all your digital devices, your digital camera, your camcorder, your MP3 Player, your Sat Nav, your PDA and your Mobile Phone all connected up to you PC which acted as a Digital hub for all that content and media.  Not that long ago right?  In fact I still have all of these devices, i just use them way less now or not at all.  These of course have been largely replaced by the one device to rule them all, the smartphone. I have used 4 smartphone platforms, Windows Mobile, Android, Blackberry and most recently iOS. I've gotta say carrying around one device rather than seven is obviously convenient, but only recently have these devices matured to a level where it's also realistic. When Apple CEO Steve Jobs was recently asked what the future of the PC was, he used an interesting automotive analogy.  " When we were an agrarian nation, a

We're quite disappointed with the current generation of consoles, particularly the HD ones. What they gained in processing power they mostly squandered on pretty graphics but gameplay by and large still riffing on what we'd been introduced to in the PS2 days. We're being harsh. There were some leaps forward, mostly in terms of online connectivity but here's four features we believe should just be standard. In all games. From now on. 1) Screenshots. LET THE PEOPLE TAKE SCREENSHOTS. For the love of christ. Not only does it mean that we can share such lovely in game memories as the one above but it makes writing, blogging and social networking about games sooooo much easier. Especially RPGs. You want to cherish those precious memories long after the internal memory has perished so just let us take a screenshot wherever and whenever we want. Whilst we are at it also, why every single game doesn't rip off Halo 3's Theatre mode we don't know. Our ratio of playing

We're talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me "It's no better to be safe than sorry". Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two Oh the things that you say. Is it life or just a play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying awayI'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me on I'll be gone in a day or two 8/10. Worth a purchase!

TGAM gives you the low down on the Nintendo Channel, Nintendo's sometimes under-used promotional channel available for free download on your Nintendo Wii. This third of team TGAM is a big ol' Nintendo fanboy and is keen to evangelise the rather good comunity stuff that is on offer for the Nintendo Wii. Another two weeks of Weekly Downloads Trailer On Wiiware, DSiWare and Virtual Console , round-ups of the latest new content on the Nintendo Shop. Pearl Harbor [sic.] Trilogy- 1941 Red Sun Rising actually looks quite good. Kung Fu Funk looks like fun in short bursts if you've never played Warioware . The mental Toribash is given a bit of love although even we wouldn't buy it from the weird ten seconds of footage. Zenquaria: Virtual Aquarium is yet another virtual aquarium for your Wii except this one had Mii compatability. And looks rubbish. DSiWare has the rather shambling new line up including Steamworld Tower Defense (yet another tower defense game!), Hair Sal

Congratulations to out favorite Uk-based Official Nintendo Magazine on their new Guinness Book of Records (Gamer's Edition) World Record for: Most articles published on least content [Nintendo Franchise] The prestigious magazine picked up the tenuous award upon posting the article titled "New Pokémon outed". This record breaking article made the books as the 2210,0067th article on the unreleased game Pokemon Black and White. So far, a handful of screenshots and a dozen confirmed new pokemon have inspired the skilled team at ONM to: Write more news articles on this one game than Pokemon in the pokedex (with the new editions). Produce articles which when printed out and bound, forms a series of volumes larger than that human genome book series that twattish scientists keep banging on about . Write more words than neurons in the average human brain. Draw more inane comments than bricks in the Great Wall of China. The record was previously held by blogger Ed Green, who, due

It has been a while since we checked the Nintendo Channel to give you, the armchair hardcore gamer who 'hasn't plugged the Wii in for months', the low down on what is essentially Nintendo TV. We (well I) am a big fan of this service and I'm keen to get more of you to use it and I'm keen for Nintendo to contiue to support it. Nintendo TV episodes put together by the Official Nintendo Magazine continues with three new installments. Episode 3 highlights the best of Wiiware and DSiware (Lost Winds, World of Goo, Bit Trip, PicoPict, Earthworm Jim). A lot of people on the ONM forums were complaining that this episode was a bit unneccessary but having seen first hand how; a) few Wii owners have ever explored the Nintendo Shop let alone understand what Wiiware is and b) hard to navigate the stores are if you don't know very specifically what you are looking for, I'd say that this particular episode was well in order. It is stil a shame that Wiiware demos are

Some quick thoughts. Some of us aren't huge E3 fans here. But here is our unbiased thoughts about how Ninty's show went following the Microdisaster . First off, I'm not a LoZ fan at all so there was little in the first 20 minutes for me. Do the controls really need explaining anyway because they've BEEN THE SAME SINCE FOREVER . Also, BINGO Cringey Playthrough. The 'Universal Appeal' bit. What is Madden? What is NSomethingsomething2K? NBA? Although, we're happy that if we do buy Mario Sports Mix, we're confident we'll never need to buy another sports game again. Which is very clever and a bit dirty. But the HD fanboys will be too busy lamenting the casual-ty of it all to notice. Plus, there's some much needed couch multiplayer party games from the looks of things. You know games you can play without standing up KinLOLLOLLLOLect. STATISTICS. LIES. Well okay then, IN YOUR FACE HD CONSOLES. Move it along Reggie. Wii Party. Secretely excit

Attending prior international affairs, means that today will be spent trying to hunt down fucking E3 videos (we just don't trust your spin) and catching up with the good ol' Nintendo Channel. Fortunately, a paltry FOUR videos since last time means it'll all be over soon and we can get back to finding E3 videos. Nintendo TV continues with episode two all about the 'Wii world cup'. This video feels oddly familiar pitting the Miis of various famous Englishmen against the Miis of various famous Germans in a five challenge in Wii Sports Resort, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, Mario Kart and Wii Fit Plus. Why don't you create your own Wii World Cup? Nice idea ONM but a credit would be nice next time Chris. Super Mario Galaxy 2 has a third trailer up on the channel. Fortunately, it's a medley of the all those bits you've no doubt seen before so don't worry about more spoilers. We get the point Nintendo. We'll buy it already. Christ on

The excellent Everybody Votes Channel on the Nintendo Wii has the uber Web 2.0 option for (l)users to submit questions for future polls. About a month ago I made the following suggestion: This has still not been a question on the channel yet so something must have gone wrong when I sent it in to Nintendo. I have emailed them this JPEG this time so they definitely won't miss it. Expect to see this question on the channel soon!

We've finally got around to picking up a copy of the reasonably acclaimed De Blob for our Nintendo Wii. We have played the first couple of levels and out current analysis is: JOY. The sound, the colour, THE PURE HAPPY JOY. We're only three levels in; we hope that the Inkies don't suddenly turn into SUPER GENET(/R)IC MUTANT SOLDIERS or the game dramatically turns into a flight sim half way through because it's only a fundamental game change of that order that has the potential to ruin the rest of the game. It is a happy and pretty game and this cutscene might rank as one of our favourite game cutscenes of all time (well okay second to sexing a dead man ). The one we're on about is 2.28 in the video below, the favourite cutscene not the necrophilia one which can be found here . A lot of writers have been going on about the problem with ubiquitous violence in video games but a quick glance at the games shelf and Zack and Wiki, Another Code: Rubbish, De Bl

Bank Holiday Monday blogging! Once again, we've been watching the Nintendo Channel so you don't have to. Can we get a "slow news week"? Now the love affair with Monster Hunter is over there's not a great deal of new or good stuff on the Nintendo channel since last week . Those ace Warioware: Do it Yourself videos continue with Todd Lewis, that chap from Scribblenauts who makes a rather lovely micro game but who comes across as very very nervous under the pressure. Worth a watch and again, we hope these videos keep a coming. Penta Tentacles is a colourful flow-a-like from the 'artstyle' family which looks a little bit derivative if we are honest. Still, we'll reserve judgement from when we've had our hands on it and more than likely we'll find ourselves still up at 4am in the morning collecting floaty bits. There's a Dragon Quest IX trailer up, which as you can imagine looks like what you'd expect a Dragon Quest IX trailer to lo

Thank god Most Painful Moments in Gaming is over. Not only did the frustration of my individual pains come flooding back but the pain of my right honorouble friends made me cringe anew. However all this frustration will be offset with next week's feature-creeping best moments. In the meantime, I'm going to take a quick butcher's at some of the stuff currently up on the Ninty Channel at the moment. I'm a big fan of the Nintendo Channel, I know not everybody is, but if I have some spare time I try to check it out once or twice a week to see what's new. This week: Monster Hunter Tri still dominates the channel with a massive 19 videos currently up. The latest video, bizarrely titled Hunting Jhen Moran Online is actually just a cutscene from the game (a fucking cool one nonetheless) advertising the now closed(?) event quest. The World of Monster Hunter Tri parts 1 to 6 and the World of Monster Hunter Tri Hunting Grounds set the scene for MHnewcomers but also st

*Oh spoilers, but if you haven't fucking played it by now, I have no sympathy for you and I really shouldn't cater to you* There is a bit in the game later on, where you have to get by some whirlpools by equipping and unequipping the "iron boots": Time it just wrong and you get a KO from being sucked into the whirlpool and you return to the start of the whirlpool. Which happened over and over and over, keep in mind that to equip or unequip the boots means menu juggling, so it was getting more and more frustrating, till eventually I, out of rage, grabbed the controller and twisted it.  As I did so, the the 2 moulded halves of the controller prised apart However it didn't snap, or break... It did however revert back to it's original state very quickly, the controller snapped shut, the 2 sides closed together pinching a strip of skin on the palm of my hand. Well, not just pinching it actually scissoring the strip right off, forcing me to wear a

I could list all the reasons as to why this video is the full spectrum of wrong, but including that as post content would lead to some rather debatable hits from google. Just no. Richie :(

Since I was a kid, gaming has always been synonymous with Nintendo. Here was a company that for me had awesome graphics, huge libraries of games and timeless franchises. However this relationship unfortunately ended with the Game Cube and while the Wii has been a runaway succes it got me thinking why did they lose me as a customer? My first gaming system was a Commodore 64, a system that looked enough like it might be educational to fool my parents, however for me it was purely for games. While I spent many hours with Treasure Island Dizzy (one life and no saving!!), bubble bobble and Rick Dangerous, my first experience with what i believed to be 'true' gaming was the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) I would accompany my parents on trips to Makro and immediately split from them and head to the gaming isle where they had a Nintendo wall with NES systems running Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt. These Instant gaming machines let you slip in to a simple, co