Why the 3DS isn't selling

The 3DS hasn't sold a bajillion bajillion copies. Which is a massive failure as everything should sell more than the last thing that sold the most. Forever. Cue cut and washed articles about it. By the family bucket load.

TGAM doesn't have one. Here's why:

1) We already have, on average 3 DSes each in various shapes sizes and colours. According to our Peruvian ancestry four is an unlucky number so until one breaks we won't be getting one. If only Microsoft made DSes then we'd probably have to get a new DS every week (amirite?)

b) The DSiXL only came out last week. The protective sheet is still attached.

C) 3D is to gaming like the discovery of a third nipple during intercourse (yours or theirs) with someone you've paid a lot of money to. It is just a bit weird, not really what you wanted and leaves you feeling that sometimes more isn't actually better.

)) The average length of a DS game is around 4000000 hours with all those RPGs (including the one with the pocket monsters). Second to PCs it is the hardcorest platform. So why splash out on a new device if you're just gonna play the same old BORING 2D games for the next twenty years?

So there we have it games companies. We're sick of snapping up shit just because you launch it. Deal. With. It. And don't go squinnying on and on about.

In related news: still use these features everyone?


  1. DrHamHock00:47

    I'm just waiting for some more fucking games to come out.
    Oh and the DSware shop, which has been delayed until next fucking month.
    Oh and I still use streetpass so NER NER NA NER NER!!

  2. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaam YOU


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