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Showing posts with the label DS woes

Super Scribblenauts

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Along with the rest of the world, the potential of Scribblenauts blew our tiny little minds. Unfortunately, the first game had some control issues and we never picked up the second one.
However, we spotted a copy of Super Scribblenauts new for less than the price of a pint. This must be the long tail effect then yeah? a 91% price cut over two years is how the games industry maintains healthy profits beyond launch week. Surely. That's why the games industry seems to be weathering the recession and why development companies aren't shutting down left right and centre. Right?
Moronic business models aside, it benefits us well and we finally got around to the wonderful world of words. Why isn't this game in every classroom? Why isn't the media full of positive stories of gamers expanding their vocabulary through playing this lovely little game?
We're almost done with the challenges in the game and, like everyone who reviewed it back in 2010, Super Scribblenauts really …

The tragic cogitations of DS/Pokemon Loss

Shock horror, dismay and tears.

Over the past ten years of playing pokemon there were certain things that caused me dismay, the battery on "Red" depleted loosing all the hours spent on that. Telling doppelganger to get Pokemon, then further down the line him thrashing me in a 6v6 battle. And most recently, Taking my DS on holiday with Pokemon Black.

I lost it, I left it on the plane, I spoke with KLM several times to see if it had been handed in, but no :( it's
lost...
gone...
stolen...
moved on...

It is... no more

Well it's not the worst thing in the world, the DS can be replaced, I may even get the 3DS for the hell of it. The thing that bothers me most is Pokemon Black and the time I invested. Along with that I have lost my Celebi, Zoroa, Zoroark, and Victini. Several event-only (i.e. time-sensitive) Pokemon, Zoroa and Victini were actually ones I was using when going through the game too!

So, i dont know, do I play through the game again? do I just drop it, say to…

Why the 3DS isn't selling

The 3DS hasn't sold a bajillion bajillion copies. Which is a massive failure as everything should sell more than the last thing that sold the most. Forever. Cue cut and washed articles about it. By the family bucket load.

TGAM doesn't have one. Here's why:

1) We already have, on average 3 DSes each in various shapes sizes and colours. According to our Peruvian ancestry four is an unlucky number so until one breaks we won't be getting one. If only Microsoft made DSes then we'd probably have to get a new DS every week (amirite?)

b) The DSiXL only came out last week. The protective sheet is still attached.

C) 3D is to gaming like the discovery of a third nipple during intercourse (yours or theirs) with someone you've paid a lot of money to. It is just a bit weird, not really what you wanted and leaves you feeling that sometimes more isn't actually better.

)) The average length of a DS game is around 4000000 hours with all those RPGs (including the one with the pock…

Anyone would think Nintendo had already pulled the plug on the Wii and DS

The news networks are full of 3DS spam today, this week, this year . Paucity of information, waist deep in nonsense. Even better are the gazillion reviews that start with "you can't see how brilliant it is without actually seeing it". Still they type on for another couple of thousand words. They still bother with screenshot galleries. We'd be a little less interested if 85% of the 3DS are literally remakes of older games. But 'in 3D'. I missed the caveats in reviews for Ocarina of Time that end with 90% would have been 100 were it just in 3D. The endless boring pointless speculation. Is this the price? Is that too much or too little? Is a thing which isn't out yet sell for an appropriate price? That's cutting edge analysis right there. Yes? No maybe? The real answer is nobody knows yet. Stop asking. Video game 'journalism' really is at its desperate ugly low around a new product launch and as much as we may or may not appreciate the new system…

Resident Nonsense

What a nonsense.
Video Games | Resident Evil: Revelations | E3 2010: Debut Trailer XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii It has always been a bit of nonsense but really?

That Nintnendo E3 Expo's a Maniac... 2010

Some quick thoughts. Some of us aren't huge E3 fans here. But here is our unbiased thoughts about how Ninty's show went following the Microdisaster.

First off, I'm not a LoZ fan at all so there was little in the first 20 minutes for me. Do the controls really need explaining anyway because they've BEEN THE SAME SINCE FOREVER. Also, BINGO Cringey Playthrough.

The 'Universal Appeal' bit. What is Madden? What is NSomethingsomething2K? NBA? Although, we're happy that if we do buy Mario Sports Mix, we're confident we'll never need to buy another sports game again. Which is very clever and a bit dirty. But the HD fanboys will be too busy lamenting the casual-ty of it all to notice. Plus, there's some much needed couch multiplayer party games from the looks of things. You know games you can play without standing up KinLOLLOLLLOLect.

STATISTICS. LIES. Well okay then, IN YOUR FACE HD CONSOLES. Move it along Reggie.

Wii Party. Secretely excited about thi…

We Love The DS

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We got a DSi XL from our favourite person in the world. It is a thing of beauty, an object d'art. The screens are huge and I can now check the internet from the toilet which, is pretty much living the dream.

In addition, because the old DS touch screen was broken it now means that we can unlock those extra outfits on Project Rub, Spin that record in Resident Evil Deadly Silence and most importantly MATCH THE FACES!

MATCH THE FACES, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, MATCH THE FACES, MATCH THE FACES, MATCH THE FACES, match the faces, match the faces, MATCH THE FACES! Match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces, match the faces,…

GAME to close down some stores.

First can we say how sad it will be for all those who lose their jobs in the closure of 43 shops across the UK. Now that is out of the way can we now say good. Good riddance GAME.
We tried to support you in the credit crunch crisis thingy but you didn't have the games we wanted a mere six days after launch. Also, I'm not entirely surprised at the closures either when your stores look and feel like a teenager's bedroom.

We remember the days when GAME was merely an awesome mail order site and you'd order stuff from the back of a mag. We got Legacy of Kain, Resident Evil, Broken Helix and Tomb Raider from GAME before it became a shop*. Any and every title including the more obscure ones were available back then when gaming shops on the high street were basically for PC games and printers. To see it's horrid generic commercial horribleness now makes us sad :(


*Just checked wikipedia. Our memories seem to be totally apocryphal. Maybe we meant Gameplay? W/ever. OH MAN WE FO…

Warning new term approaching: Kuntaku

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As some of our more diligent readers are aware we don't like Kotaku very much. For those of you who are not so diligent and here because you were linked here, these are the reasons we don't like it:

1. The colour scheme.
2. The half truths and rumours. The dodgy reporting and then reposting their own failed reporting as some kind of flaw in 'games journalism'.
3. The dross you have to sift through... Nobody cares (and if you do, you really need to rethink your priorities) about the latest maximum risky doll from a 10 year old jRPG.
4. Day/night note. We thought we killed it off but it has come back. Remember kids, you should buy Arcade Mania.
5. I have never laughed with Kotaku, only at it. To say it is devoid of genuine grown up humour is being overly generous.
6. It's too American. Way too much attention on tits. There are even better parts on a woman (hint:around the armpit and pantsu regions work well) and almost no talk of the wang despite 25% of their write…

Is the PSP worth getting yet?

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Let's check. The last time we paid any attention to the "little handheld that could" there was nothing going on.

From field data gathered by observing people using it on the bus and on the train it seems that 98% of them use it to watch Family Guy or South Park episodes. The other 2% play GTA.

Apparently, it can connect to the PS3. Which is a shame because the PS3 is probably the least useful thing an appliance could ever connect to. In fact plugging your PSP into the ground probably offers up infinitly more exciting gaming opportunities.

And what of those "games" that Sony used to do?

Hmmmm Tekken is the best game for the PSP according to Gayspot. Looking at Metacritic there has only been one game post launch better than Lumines and Wipeout. Thems are four years old y'all.

Well I do not know about you but I certainly can't wait for PSP Go! to play those four year old games on. Can you?

Pokemon Summer Camp: That was ages ago

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Yes in our long running series (2 including this one) of up to the minute live blogging of videogames events posted a month after the fact we are proudish to relay our thoughts on the Pokemon Summer Day Camp way back on the 25th of August.

Yes after all my fanboy whinging about how Nintendo hates europe, it seems that they heard my whiny plees and decided to do a Pokemon Summer Day Camp which promised much pokemon related fun and the oppurtunity to get a Mew for the GBA games, which is sure generous Nintendo. How many other games let their players wait 4 years to get something they should have had anyway.....

So Chuff_72, our TGAM street correspondant and myself went along in the interests and purity of videogame journalism. Definitely not because neither of us wanted to go alone and one of us, really, really wanted to go. As it turns out we were both movinghouse that weekend but promises and pleading with our better halves meant we busted down to sunny Brent Cross in London for our …

Stupid Fucking Site More Like

So everyone on the internet likes to whinge but there is nothing worse than a loser and a not so loser that like to whinge about their shitty job, online, whilst they work at their shitty job.

Go here to read this big bag 'o' shite.



Here are the problems with the website "I'm a stupid customer service nerd" in a numbered list:



1) They whinge all the time about how crappy their job is yet never do anything about it like skim people's credit cards or leave the store unlocked on purpose.

2) It's as if they haven't seen Clerks or understand that they just come off as whiney nerds. Everyone has worked shit jobs but most of us managed to move on with our lives.

3) The woman (Mario Mark) almost never talks about women's issues such as periods, pregnancy boobs or grief online. Get with it bird.

4) They so desperately want to be UK:Resistance that they write about it in the comments all the time and steal their posts and spend most of the day in the work toilets…

A new Resident Evil DS?

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Yes, yes there is but it isn't Resident Evil Deadly Silence, it's Resident Evil Douche Simulator! We have insider information from someone currently testing the game. You'll be able to douche some of your favourite characters from the series racing against the clock to 'fresh that fem'.



It was revealed to us that there will (surprise surprise) be unlockable characters. One of which is Zombie Female 3 from Resident Evil 2. Capco said:

"she has green and bloody Douche-juice"


Of course she does Cacpom. Of course she does. Expect to see it hit shelves in August and probably stay there for two days before being replaced with Sponge Bob Squarepants meets Catz: Barbie Princess Army Men.

A little late for the prize giving no? Still...

... it is the taking part that counts. Following Richie's stream of posts in the last few weeks I thought I'd take the baton and do a post of my very own. Here it is.

This weekend I was on the continent (what English people say when they go to 'Europe'. N.B. please don't refer to the English, Irish (or parts of), Welsh or Scots as 'British'. As far as I'm aware none of these countries wants to be associated with any of the others and the only time we might concede to being British is when England are knocked out of some sporting competition and we have to support one of the other British teams. Further N.B this only occurs when the English are knocked out. If Scotland, Wales or Ireland are knocked out of a competition they actively support whoever is opposing England). I won't worry you with the for whys but In one of the big electronics shops media markt I saw a site to behold- the videogames sections.

Unlike GAME or HMV or Virgin or wherever, the DS…

Wanna Know the Name?

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Devil may Cry but an interesting report (via Bug's Blog) shows how people who play different games view themselves. A survey of 5000 gamers from around the world was taken. Here are the results.


Interestingly 80% of people who play mobile phone games at least once a day do not consider themselves gamers (this is more than I play games!). Compare that to 10% of console gamers and a whopping 64% of PC gamers surveyed.

Of the console (including DS, GBA and PSP) gamers 22% consider themselves 'hardcore gamers', but no definition of hardcore was given. 56% of them were in a relationship, 30% of them in a long term relationship (5+ years). The average age of a console gamer is 29 and there is an almost 50-50 split between the sexes. The favourite genre of games were puzzle games, life sims and 'adventure' games (some of these titles are a bit vague). 70% of console gamers play together, both co-operatively and against each other with family and friends.

Of PC gamers only…

S.I.C.K

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With the PS3 dead on arrival, the Xbox 360 dependent on me having a reliable broadband connection and the Wii having four games, three of which, are launch games, it is down to the DS to keep gaming alive in the world of Cunzy1 1.


AND WHAT A WORLD! There's fossil league which I need for the DS dinosaur goodness and only £20. Then there's Bionicle heroes which promises to be as good as Metroid. Let us not forget Puzzle Quest: Somedy Blah Blah which I can see myself sinking days into. Elite Beat Agents and the new Phoenix Wright are calling my name RIGHT NOW TOO!. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl should be out sometime soon and I'm still wading through Advance Wars:Dual Strike, I've got one more round to do with Resident Evil Deadly Silence, Dr Kawishima's going to kick my ass next time I go on Brain Age and there is still a bazillion and one things left to do on Animal Crossing Wild World. :( There just isn't enough time or money to do them all and I haven't even s…