That guy's a Maniac...

Games Industry biz has the scoop parsed via Kotaku because we can't be arsed to register for GIZ! Because that means cum. Basically, a bunch of nobodys are whinging about Nintendo not doing enough to advertise WiiWare and DSiWare and all the online stuff. Unfortunately, this coincides with Nintendo running some rather good adverts on the telly box about how to get your Wii online and why you should. Unfortunately neither umm Pong Toss or Christmas Clix are featured in the ad.

In this month's Official Nintendo Magazine the paedo and the three five year olds are asking for readers to vote for their games of the year in various categories. I tried to find a weblink for this activity but alas! The ONM website SUCKS . Properly SUCKS . Okay. It's all here apparently . Anyway the point of this post is that I have only played one game in all those shortlisted in all seven categories (obviously, not including Most Anticipated). The only game I have played is Dead Rising: Chop Til' You Drop which is nominated for biggest let down. Which, isn't fair. It is purely misunderstood. Where do you people get the time to buy and play all these games? I'm a fan of gaming, a fan of Nintendo with a bit of disposable income and I haven't played a single game highly rated from the last year!? Where do the kidz get all the money? How many have you played TGAM reader(s)?

Koopa Trooper beams are gonna blind me. But I won't feel blue. Like I always do. 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you. I was sick and tired of everything when I called you last night from Glasgow. All I do is eat and sleep and sing. Wishing every show was the last show. (Wishing every show was the last show). So imagine I was glad to hear you're coming. (Glad to hear you're coming). Suddenly I feel all right (and suddenly it's gonna be)and it's gonna be so different. When I'm on the stage tonight. Tonight the Koopa Trooper lights are gonna find me. Shining like the sun. (Koop-p-pa Troop-p-per)Smiling, having fun (Koop-p-pa Troop-p-per). Feeling like a number one Tonight the Koopa Trooper beams are gonna blind me but I won't feel blue (Koop-p-pa Troop-p-per). Like I always do (Koop-p-pa Troop-p-per). 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you. Tonight the Koopa Trooper lights are gonna find me. Shining like the sun. (Koop-p-pa

Artist rendition of how Miyamoto actually sees the world. So recently he said: “I don’t think everything needs to be 3D, or that just because we’re seeing more 2D games now, that everything’s going to shift back to 2D. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a 3D game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of 2D games were. When going 2D, you need the courage to not be so attached to visual appearance of the games and to really pursue the gameplay experience.” Interestingly this also reads well if you replace 2D for SD (Standard Definition/Poor-man's TV) “I don’t think everything needs to be HD, or that just because we’re seeing more SD games now, that everything’s going to shift back to SD. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a HD game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of SD games were. When going SD, you need the courage to not be so attached

The first DSi only games were announced last week. I just don't understand why they would do that. Why so quickly? Why wait until half the world have a DS or DSlite, then bring out the DSi then bring out DSi only games. Wouldn't now be the time to be bringing out the DS games now that everyone can get in on the action? Realistically, it is probably something to do with the DS having an average attach rate of 3 games. Which means anyone wanting to accrue a collection or play through all the decent/semi decent DS games gets fucked with a stylus but the average punter gets to keep that shit-eating grin on their face. Everybody sing it with me! [In eastern European propaganda stylee] R4 cartridge! R4 cartridge! Giving the consumer a genuine chance at experiencing! This wonderful culture! They killed R4! They killed R4! Now the only option is to buy Kirby: Canvas Curse on Ebay! For a hundred bucks! R4 cartridge! R4 cartridge! Giving consumers the dream! The only way to play them a

Aw isn't that cute... They made it look like a real console, adorable. Yeah it's some bundle with Monster Hunter Tri (3) so dont expect the EU to get it, ever. Luv and shiny wired controllers, Richie XXX

For reasons not to be divulged here, I had a week off of work and for reasons too painful to recount here I spent most of it on the sofa playing games. Sad perhaps but a week I thoroughly enjoyed as I relived the glory days when I could really get my teeth into some games rather than snatching the odd hour or two or playing games and then dreaming of playing them for the rest of the week, the routine that modern life forces us into. I played the Wii exclusively, proving that you don't need marines in space or space marines on planets or future marines fighting nazis to have a good game session. Here's the synopsis for all none of you out there who are at all interested: Dead Rising chop til you drop (or shop til you drop as one googler who found this site typed in). I still can't decide whether this is a good game in its own rights, a yorke notes version of a good game or just a bad game. Having played through it all of four times now, I am still none the wiser. Per

Been playing a lot of SSBB recently and this video really struck a chord. Gotta love Captain Falcon even if you hate his games.

*Is it because you stop looking or is it because the press coverage runs out?

Welcome ladies and gentlemen for yet another inappropriate combination of sexual release and Nintendo. Look someone has made some attachments for the Wiimote that increase stimulation... TBH Annalee over at io9 says, "Everybody wants to figure out how to put their thinger in somebody else's thinger via bluetooth or TCP/IP or port 1337. " , and this attachment has to be the least inventive Thinger2Thinger yet. Like no-one else thought of it! 2 anal-tickles out of 10 poor effort, see me after class. Luv n Hugs, Richie X

Let's milk the cash cow till only blood comes out. Milk it like a Polaroid picture. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it. *We're still gonna buy it like a bunch of kidulthood fags.

ANIMAL CROSSING WILD WORLD REVIEW For Nintendo DS Animal Crossing isn't a game. It's a career. A vocation, a mini alternative life. You could educate a child with it and it would turn out OK. It teaches you everything you need to know about the real world. It teaches you the importance of money, shows you the true value of patience, punishes you for lying, and when characters move out of your town it's an important lesson about the harsh realities of bereavement in adult life. Bunnie is gone, Timothy, she's gone to another town very far away and she's never coming back. It's not a game, it's a job. You HAVE to collect your fruit to begin with, else you can't afford the cool furniture. You HAVE to keep fishing, else you might miss a rare fish. You HAVE to collect all the fossils, fish and insects because something cool might happen when you do. Animal Crossing uses an enhanced version of the COLLECTEVERYTHING(TM) engine that Nintendogs used. I

Boo hoo hoo. Boo hoo hoo. Waaaaaah waaah a boo hoo hooo. That's all we ever hear from you. Boo hoo hoo Blizzard hates my class. Waaaah waaah waaah Capcom won't respond to my letters. Boody hoo hoo "they" ruined Star Wars Galaxies. Yes it's pathetic but fortunately it's mostly from the PC gamers. Until now... Since the release of Mario Kart Wii a number of sources have complained about the return of the blue shell. Even EDGE which usually flounces above such gamer whining, whines about it ( Mario Kart Wii 6/10 ). Well you know what? The MBA s at That guy' s a maniac, the Second Greatest Video Game Blog of all time , have voted it the most bestest amazing pick up of all time. Read that last sentence again. Not just videogame pick ups. ALL pick ups. Be it pick up lines, picking up a prostitute or a pick up truck, the blue shell beats them all hands down. Here's what the Master blog artists had to say: "It is our generations great leveller. O

9/10 - "Good enough to consider getting a Wii for."

I fucking knew it. I'm really not happy. Mario Kart (Due Friday) will not have full functionality with the Gamecube controller. Apparently "mid air" moves wont be 100% emulated when using a "proper" controller. Fuck you Wii-mote

We're talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK? Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two. So needless to say. I'm odds and ends. But that's me stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is OK. Say after me "It's no better to be safe than sorry". Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone. In a day or two Oh the things that you say. Is it life or just a play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying awayI'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me, take me onI'll be goneIn a day or two 8/10. Worth a purchase!

As you may have heard the dude who does Mario’s voice is doing an autobiography. As it turns out Ol’ Charlie-boy is a huge fan of “That guy’s a Maniac” and has given us these excerpts: *Warning Spoilers* “One day I went into Nintendo for a voice-over job.” “I put on a really stereotypical (bordering on racist) Italian voice.” “I got the job” “I did it for a few other games” “And they all lived happily ever after” Thatyguys rating: 7/10 Good: Thoroughly good read, all the way through it you are amazed that such a small story could be padded out to a whole book. Bad: The book loses its charm because in you head it is all spoken with a thick Italian accent.

This christmas is gearing up to be a good one and already it's very heavily video game oriented. The TV is running Hitman the movie ads almost every ad break and the trailers for Assasin's Creed and Need for Speed Pro Street are popping up quite a bit, as well as others. They seem to be good adverts too, grown up ads, no longer the reserve of horrible ALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT American voice over tat or Sony wankery they used to be. This month's EDGE has an interesting schpiz on marketing for games and how much money is thrown at the great unwashed on marketing alone. Up to 15 percent of a game's net receipts is spent on marketing and for titles released worldwide for christmas up to £7 million is being spent. Recent discussions with Giant Enemy Guitar Hero suggest that PR and advertising may be the way to go about getting your game off the shelves regardless of unfulfilled promises by developers and publishers in pre-launch hype. The oft cited poor initial receptions

Yes!! In Nintendo's bid to turn gaming into non gaming we now have Brain Training and Sight Training which means that we are two more installments closer to penis training and the one I'm looking forward to most, pelvic floor training . Touch generations indeed. Nothing worse than a flappy chappy or a slack front crack. No sir.

More Nintendo lies this month with this post over at the "Official" Smash Brothers Dojo. This site is so fake they can't even get the name of the game right. The real name is Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Anyway we brought you the scoop on the real SSBB characters and stages two months ago ( check it fool ). But! Whoever is behind the farcical Dojo site is fucking cruel. It's OK to goad the Fire Emblem geeks but picking on Sega fans is a crime against humanity. Don't build their hopes up. I can here the frantic bashing of keyboards already as they plan their Sonic Faninima's shot with SSBB to add to the steaming pile of Sonic Machinima that already exists. Be advised Dojo webmaster, I'm emailing Google to get you taken off the listings. You've taken this joke too far now. Whilst we are on the subject of shitty fan made crap, this following public notice is brought to you courtesy of our latest "if you can't beat em join em" ti