Monday, October 31, 2011

Resident Evil Operation Raccoon City

We've mentioned REORC before. We weren't very nice about it. We were concerned that what makes the early Resi's great had been taken away from this game. It was looking like an essentially generic man-shooter affair with the occasional familiar B.O.W. Manshooter syndrome is the new Monster Syndrome, or so we thought. Well this trailer encourages us to commit milnerphagy (milphagy? We want to eat our hat, not a hatmaker although eating a hatmaker is more Resident Evil).

It actually looks good! We're excited again! Less focus on generic shooty people with gasmasks and more about the city and the story capcom have told, retold, rereleased and retold and retold again. Then retold in HD. We feel for the Resikipedians as it looks like the canon is going to be slightly retweaked again.

Yay! Resident Evil again. We used to be a blog about Resident Evil once.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Legend of Zelda Skyward :(

Wii game Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword is due out in less than a month and already, with some predictability, it is picking up some great reviews. The EDGE review goes as far as to say "How apt that this ultimate tale of hero-making should see Nintendo’s hardware become the console it was always meant to be." and ONM gives the game 98%. The editorial of this month's EDGE encapsulates how we feel about modern gaming. Oh how we've forgotten what "proper" gaming was with the seemingly unstoppable tide of "games" you "play" on your phone. This is gaming. That sense of wonder at a virtual world that is unique to the feeling that games give you.

We should be happy. LoZ:SS is evidence (alongside Xenoblade Chronicles and the upcoming project rainfall releases) that there's life in the Wii yet and further proof that graphics do not necessarily make a great game. Much like the Gamecube, at a time when the Wii is increasingly referred to as a "legacy platform" there's a number of releases showing that actually some developers are only just getting into their stride. Skyward Sword also finally makes Motion Plus a thing that you should own. We don't have any motion plus controllers and who can blame us, look at this list. It's also proof of the Nintendo magic that lesser game companies can only hope to replicate.

So why aren't we shouting from the forumtops that you can stick your HD platforms up your arse because there's more to gaming than man shooters and HD rereleases? Why aren't we pointing to games like Rage and Deus Ex and snorting milk out of our noses that a Wii release is pissing all over these supposedly "grown up games". Everyone knows the Wii is for babies. Well the problem is, I can't stand LoZ games.

It's not that I haven't tried. I've started Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask and Link's Awakening. I even downloaded the free 25th Anniversary Edition main series spin-off Four Swords (available now, for free to all DSi and 3DS owners) and gave that a go. I just don't see the hook. I'm bemused at how OoT regularly tops "best games of all time lists" and whereas fans may be pouring over all the details of the upcoming game I can't help but get pissed off on ONM's 425th LoZ "article". I could not give a monkeys to be honest and here's sort of why:

1) Link is a dick. Much like Dr Who, the ever changing but somehow always the same Link is a douche. He has stupid clothes and a stupid face. He makes stupid noises and spends way too much time hanging out with fairies. Only douches hang out with fairies so much.

2) Hyrule (and all those other places which may or may not be Hyrule) is boring. Proper dull. Even the cut and paste towns of early Final Fantasies feel like vibrant communities when compared to the dull settlements in LoZ games. All the villagers seem to have Minimata disease. I don't feel compelled to help them at all.

3) Rupees. What even is a rupee? Why are they in the grass? What kind of economy revolves around items that can readily be found everywhere? Who manufactures so many treasure chests just to store things you can find in long grass? Sounds like a dodgy contract to me.

4) The same old stuff. Every game that stupid sword and shield and bombs and a boomerang and some kinda musical instrument.

The list goes on. The stupid races with silly names, that ginger antagonist, the impossible task of stringing together the canon. What even is the fucking triforce? I just don't get it. The games don't compel me and its not like I have a high threshold, I've poured hundreds of hours into Pokemon Channel. Every now I feel like I'm being a sour puss so I dig out the N64 and put Ocarina of Time on. By the time I've got to that hedge maze I'm done. I want out. I want to use my precious gaming time on a game I might like. Stupidly, I'm a huge fan of Link's Crossbow Training and part of me want to give Twilight Princess another shot so I can see where all the levels in this, essentially, a light gun tech demo come from. Perhaps its because Link doesn't actually feature in it much? Will I give Skyward Sword a shot? Maybe if/when it ever comes down in price, although Nintendo games never seem to come down in price. A testament to how good they are perhaps?

What about you non-existant reader? Do you have game series that you just don't seem to get? Wanna start a therapy group to find out what's wrong with you? Comment or die.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Help Me!

Play both of these at the same time. It works*.



* DOES NOT WORK.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Help Me!

Help Me is an occasional series written about Ashley Graham, daughter to the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.


OH SHIT I DUN ACCIDENTAL SEEN HER PANTIES. The internet is retarded. Stay away from it. It is nothing but mind rot and we think it may be spreading.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Extra Exclusive Lack of a Battlefield 3 review.

As you’ll have noticed, TGAM is yet to have brought you a review of Battlefield 3. This is because, unfortunately, we didn't ask EA to give us a copy in advance of release and have never ever made any contact with them so why would they. So instead, below* is a picture of a puppy waering a unicorn. Take that RPS.

*Appears above if you are a homs.

What is it?

I can't express in any phrase more succinct than this that it is my sincerest wish that what "it" may be is not the bodily life fluid of my friend, who wears green and goes on missions armed only with a knife who may or may not be developing a serious steroids problem.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

HD rereleases

Silent Hill, Devil May Cry, Resident Evil, Beyond Good and Evil, Zone of the Enders, Ico and SoTC and Halo Anniversary. All of these franchises have HD re-releases due out or out already. Although, we're hugely appreciative that older games are kept alive we're fans of being able to play the versions we already own. Important to note that aside from the original Halo it is impossible to play SH, DMC or RE on current generation platforms (okay so if you have an old PS3 or Wii you could still play some of these).

But of course, HD re-releases are different from straight up re-releases but I can't shake the feeling that this kind of stuff is happening because the ideas are running out. Is this spate of HD re-releases a confession that this generation really wasn't much cop for innovation besides a graphical enhancement? Team TGAM is probably split on the issue but I'm of the opinion that technology has progressed faster than game designers and developers can keep up with or think of something clever to do.

There are very few games that otherwise could not have existed and been as fun on older platforms. I'm a fan of Dead Rising and yeah, it would have been hard to pull off hundreds of detailed on screen zombies before. The improvement in games like GTA (and red dead redemption) is only apparent when you try to go back to the older games and realise how significant that surface layer of added detail really adds to the games. I'll concede that online console play has been improved in Europe by PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii but games themselves? Nah. Twigs have been added to games' evolutionary tree but I'm struggling to think of new branches in game space (PC games aside).

There's also been a serious lack of adapting to the explosion of social networking and features that should be standard. Why have video games (notable exceptions are Halo and Minecraft) been so slow to add these elements to games to improve the sense of community and allow gamers to share their passion on blogs, facebook etc? I'd like games to have these features but don't get me wrong, I don't want this bollocks. The games that keep me playing are not improved by being able to play them on a phone or a tablet which 1% of the population actually owns.

If you missed SH, Resident Evil and devil May Cry first time around then by all means pick up and enjoy these but I for one, am looking forward to something new and different and worth spending a lot of money on*.


*Although a re-release of Resident Evil Outbreak, a version that actually works would get me how downstairs. Certainly more appealing than this generic soldier dudes shit.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Pokemon Global Link


Okay, so I know we've been a bit Pokemon heavy content-wise recently but tough. Deal with it.

Today's topic is the Pokemon Global Link. For those of you who aren't Pokemon fans, the latest "proper" DS Pokemon games, Pokemon Black and Pokemon White, allow you to upload a pokemon to the Dream World. Then, via a PC you can go on shallow and limited adventures in the Dream World via the Global Link.

The Dream World itself allows you to catch a bunch of Pokemon through playing mini games with them (fun but not very useful if you have a living dex like myself), grow some berries (sort of useful because there's very few other ways to get them in game) and make a bunch of virtual friends by visiting their houses in the Dream World. There are multiple areas of the Dream World to unlock by visiting it over and over again. On top of this there's a whole sims-esque aspect of upgrading your house and buying furniture with berries.

Also, via the Global Link you can download some content to your game (customisable skins for the bottom screen), participate in global competitions and occasionally there's a pokemon giveaway. So the Dream World is fairly shallow but there is a lot to do and it is far from a facebook game. in my mind all this stuff is free! I would have bought the DS game anyway so it is nice to have all this extra stuff to go with my game even if it does only result in a few cosmetic improvements and items you can't get otherwise. My main problems are:

1) The Non-Japanese get stiffed.
Check out this list and see how many of these promotions never made it to Europe.

2) Nintendo Are Pretty Fucking Cryptic About It.
If I didn't visit serebii all the time more than half of these promotions would have passed me by. Hmmm if only there was some Nintendo network I was connected to all the fucking time that could send me messages about these sometimes time-sensitive promotions. Even worse is that its hard to work out what you should be doing. I didn't even know you could unlock new areas in the Dream World until the Spooky Manor was announced. I then had to look up how you find new areas and guess what the best guide sites were? Everyone but Nintendo themselves.

3) Shameless Promotions
A lot of the time the DLC is accessed by a password. Often this password is hidden on another site somewhere. Today, a Halloween promotion was launched to download a Banette to your game. The details on the Global Link are pretty scant saying that the password is available "now" from some yahoo games page. I've already given the page more hits than I'd like looking for it. Suffice to say I don't think it has been made available yet. To me this is just a shallow attempt at getting the not insubstantial pokemon community to generate hits for other websites.

UPDATE: UK password available now (BANETYahooGames apparently)

All in all I would have thought that a game with quite big following (nearly 2 million people have synced their games with the Global Link) would these things a little more professionally and not rely on the player community to make it easier to know that this shit is happening in the first place and how to do it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Resident Evil 4: Revisited

So I finished Resident Evil 4 on the 360. It was again great fun, The only places I really got stuck were the silly slide puzzles, the Graphics are great, and all the gameplay was back there, enjoyable as ever.

I played Resident Evil 4 originally on the Gamecube, then again on the PS2 with all the extras, I then tried the PC version, and of course the stupidly easy Wii version. So I have played it a bit too much.

The 360 version remains faithful in all ways to the original sight sounds and scares. The only problem was I had done it 'all' before. Unfortunately there is 2 achievements on the 360 version I will not get. And that is playing it through on professional version, because I just cant be bothered, been there done that, and annoyingly, remaining faithful to the original, you have to play through normal difficulty before unlocking the professional difficulty. Secondly, is gaining all the bottlecaps for the shooting gallery, I spent ages on the PS2 version getting them, and mostly got them through luck and persistence. On a side note, there is no achievement for Mercenaries, and I aint going near that with a bargepole.

Currently i'm playing though the unlocked Agent Ada and Separate Ways campaigns, which are fun, though quite short. With Code Veronica getting a purchase in the near future too.

All in all I'm glad to have played this iteration, Its the old fantasy of being able to get those retroactive achievements for all those games from years gone by, before achievements existed. But more importantly on top of that RE4 is a great game to play again but maybe not to play again and again.

Love and buyin' it at a high price,

Richie X

HG101's Top 1000 video game tracks

Like listening to music? Stuck for suggestions? HG101 ran a poll and has come up with this massive list. Okay, so 1000 might be too many and yes, the list reads more like a snooty gamer's list of musics from those games that are darlings to the hardcore. Far too much music from games beginning with Chrono. Waaay too much Castlevania, Mega Man, Persona and Final Fantasy. But a valiant effort. I've spent the last few days going through the list and downloading some songs I'd forgotten or never heard of.

Recently EDGE's Steven Poole bemoaned the lack of decent video game tracks these days. I don't know if there are less great tracks these days or that gamers of my generation just don't play games as much as we used to so there is less time for these songs to worm their way into our heads. I definitely have a soft spot for mega drive/SNES era music and part of the reason for enjoying video game music (I almost exclusively listen to VGM or VGM remixes) is that often a track can take you back to a specific time and place. I associate Mystic Cave Zone music with hanging out with my brother busting Sonic games and Tooth and Claw with a specific summer spent with friends playing nothing but Killer Instinct, trying to pull of ultra combos. Inspired by HG101's list and Poole's article here are a few recent tracks that I've ended up downloading.

Lava Landing from Kirby's Epic Yarn


Tatsunoko vs Capcom Ultimate All Stars theme from Orbital Rings System Cargo Bay



HG101's poll was for original VGM only which is a shame because virtually every track from Little King's Story makes my list. A particular highlight is King Jumbo Champloon's theme


The problem with talking about music preferences is MUSIIIIC WANKAAARS. Everyone has different tastes. Have you found a neat track in a recent game you think is worth sharing? Feel free to drop a comment for everyone to then tell you that "NO THAT IS SHIT".

Monday, October 10, 2011

Omastar Comics #31

Back once again with the renegade master D4 damage. Power to the people. Omastar is back in the house but it is nearly Autumn and he is still rocking HIS SUMMER WARDROBE. Not cool dude.

With the ill behaviour Yeah, like that ever solved anything Archeops? Jeez.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Sunday Statistics!

Pokemon White Pokedex. SEEN 642 OBTAINED 640

Probably won't mean a lot to most people. The translation is, I've spent a shit load of time on this game and I've only got 8 more Pokemon left to get*, five of which have never been made available in Europe.

I spent a long time yesterday trying to get two more. Each generation of Pokemon games is normally released in two editions (possibly with a third remake). Red and Blue, Gold and Silver, Ruby and Sapphire, Diamond and Pearl and Black and White. The "genius" move is that some Pokemon are only available on one version and not the other requiring players to trade with each other or failing that buying both copies of the game to ahem, catch 'em all.

In the DS iterations of the games, trading has been made much easier with the Global Trade Station. You don't have to physically meet up with another player, you can go online and leave a Pokemon of your choice on the GTS, specify what you want in return and nine times out of ten after a week or so (as long as your terms are reasonable) you'll end up with what you want magically beamed to your DS from around the world by another player. However, the stupid thing about this system is that you can't request Pokemon that you haven't "seen" in the game. So for lone players like myself this meant you could never ask for those version specific Pokemon, sort of making the whole GTS a bit pointless. Fortunately, team TGAM normally coordinate which version of the game we're getting and do some trading at our yearly meet up except woops.

The problem of only being able to request Pokemon that you have seen in the games has been overcome in Black and White with a system called GTS Negotiations. The idea is that you hop online and then negotiate a trade with a player online in real time. The problem is that because, quite rightly, Nintendo don't encourage the kind of violently offensive communication that seems to pass for gamer chat, you can only communicate with the other player using four symbols; a happy smiley face, a sad smiley face, a <3 or an !. As you can imagine trying to communicate which two specific Pokemon out of 646 I need using those four emoticons is, let's say challenging. One player I met offered up virtually every single Pokemon and I had to show them that I already had them before they eventually quit out, frustrated by a seemingly pointless online show and tell. The process was even more painful because it seems that GTS negotiations users are up for just scamming each other making frankly, ridiculous requests. Fortunately, yesterday afternoon after about two hours of failed negotiations an Italian trainer, Juan, managed to suss out what it was I wanted and we made a perfectly reasonable and mutual beneficial trade. 640 down, nine to go......

*For those that care/know/got this far I need Deoxys and Darkrai from older generations and Tornadus, Landurus, Keldeo, Meleotto and Genesect. I've seen but don't have Reshiram and Archeops.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Mario Kart 7 New Characters and Track


No sooner than I throw a wobbly about the underused Nintendo Channel then they go and upload some half decent videos. This week is a video about Mario Kart 7, confirming that Metal Mario and Lakitu will be two new playable characters to the series. Also, unlike most tracks the WuHu Island course won't be a three lap course, instead the race will take place as one long lap across the island.

Now, we're all for change but we can't help but be disappointed by the announcement of these two new characters. Firstly, in between Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, Wario, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, we would have expected a bit more originality in character choice than yet another Mario. Secondly, if the characters from MKWii are returning too Lakitu adds to the already koopalicious choices of koopa trooper, dry bones, Bowser and Dry Bowser.

With Mario Kart hopefully boosting sales of the 3DS we were secretely hoping that Nintendo would shake up the series. Perhaps by including characters from their other franchises. A Super Smash Kart if you would.


With new track set-ups like the WuHu Island one, we can easily imagine a track based on Pokemon Black and White's Unova, tearing around one of the Lylat System's Planets with Landmasters careering around in the background or gliding around a stage inspired by the upcoming SKyward Sword. Furthermore, with MK being such a popular series, players might be tempted to pick up other Nintendo games. I staunchly detested Metroid and FX Zero but since playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl have picked up (and enjoyed) games in these series.

There's no doubt that MK7 will be popular but the series needs a shake up beyond a few pallet changed characters and Diddy Kong Racing gliding/underwater transforming Karts. Who knows, with my whinging earlier this week seemingly listened to perhaps we'll see a major shake up for Mario Kart Wii-U?

Friday, October 07, 2011

Status Check: Are Mobile Games Any Good Yet?

Chuff_72 is an occasional correspondent who has been even more (or is that less) occasional in recent years because, well, here's his story.

Chuff_72 used to be a proper gamer. He used to run a clan. He has an impressive collection of games, particularly an amazing collection from the PlayStation era. Then, as happens to us all, life happened. A job, a girlfriend (who does not tolerate gaming on the family TV) and a mortgage meant that game time just disappeared. Gaming was reserved for rare geekends, two filthy days holed up with other men, geeking out on video games, CCG and movies. Then one of the geeks died. And one moved to America. And now we meet maybe three times a year. A sorry existence for Chuff with but a fingernail hold into the world of gaming. Then the Xbox 360 broke. Now his only window into gaming is finding games to play on the iphone on the daily commute. We're informed that mobile games are the future, well here's a perspective from someone who used to be a gamer trying to itch that scratch stabbing a tiny touch screen...

Chuff_72
I have a daily commute of about an hour, plus I guess 30 minutes for lunch. This is my gaming time.

Going forward I hope to be providing the sort of gripping, informative and insightful reviews that will inspire the sort of dedicated following the likes of the great nodpad and http://www.geeks.co.uk/category/gaming achieve.

So without further preamble here is my World Exclusive Review of:

Jetpack Joyride

I just checked My Profile in Jetpack Joyride; Time Spent In Game 15 Hours 29 Minutes 26 Seconds. FIFTEEN FUCKING HOURS. FIFTEEN!!!!!

Sure, I've finally unlocked the golden dragon (named Mr Cuddles! ROFLAS (roll on floor laughing and shitting)), which joins the ranks of "Final Unlockable That Once You Unlock Never Gets Used As There Is No Point In Playing The Game Anymore". In this case it was more a sense of relief, finally, I can delete this addictive little shit of a glorified mini game and get back to Final Fantasy Tactics.

Except I can't. Trying to play Tactics when my brain has been deconstructed and re-built for 30 second bursts of fun and incremental rewards, is actually painful:

-Select Archer
-Rotate map to find enemy
-Select square to move too
-Select Act
-Select Aim
-Select Ability Aim +3
-Select Enemy
-Select Enemy AGAIN
-Select Perform
-Select Direction
-Wait for indefinite period of time as all the enemies move about and I have to move all my other dudes too. HOPE THE GUY YOU ARE AIMING AT DOES NOT MOVE.
-Of course he moves. Why wouldn't he, it was his turn, I can’t feel too aggrieved with the dude. I was threatening him with arrows and shit, I would have moved if I was in his place. He could have had a family back home, maybe a copy of Animal Crossing to baust, can't wait to get home as his Star Wars BluRay arrived but just as he was about to screen A New Hope for his kids one of his mates comes to him with One Last Job, etc.
-Archer fires at where the enemy selected was about five (real) minutes ago. The enemy is currently disemboweling one of your Chemists on the other side of the map.

I was fine with this for about 20 hours, but now this process has become too slow, too irritating.

See that screenshot of me having sexy face time with a scientist? That is all you need to know about the game. It is also an accurate representation of what it does to the player.

Final Scores:
Jetpack Joyride has ruined Final Fantasy Tactics out of 10.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Nintendo Channel: Now Raging


This is part of an occasional series. Normally we catch up with the Nintendo Channel every fortnight and give the low down on what's happening. In August we got pretty fucked off because the only new content on the channel since August was a weekly downloads trailer that included 1950s Lawnmower Kids as its only download. I wish we were lying.


YEAH THANKS BECAUSE I WASN'T SOLD ON THE CONCEPT UNTIL THIS STUPID ANNOYING VIDEO CAME ALONG. EGG ON MY FACE. I TAKE IT BACK. 1950s LAWNMOWER KIDS IS AN UNDER APPRECIATED CLASSIC. I IMAGINE.

This months output has us grinding our teeth into dentine dust. It drives us nuts. Nintendo has a channel that sits on every single Wii. That's about 87 million owners right there. Okay so probably not all of them have ever used the channel but the channel has been watched for over one million hours by approximately 500,000 users. This number could be more but that's the minimum amount of players who have allowed their data to be compiled for the Nintendo Channel. BUT in theory it's the perfect mechanism of informing all those gamers with "dusty wiis" about Nintendo shit. They could bypass all other forms of media and just announce things through the channel. They could do interesting Nintendo documentaries. They could have made it an excellent community tool. That's a channel direct to the people who splashed out on a Wii and might want to know about other games they can get because they have Mario Kart and Wii Sports but don't trawl the interwebs for garbled gaming "news" via all those horrible unreliable websites. The channel is barely used at all. Even their E3 coverage was shit, lagging behind the announcements and videos just sort of bunged on the channel with no sneak-for-nintendo-channel-only previews or commentary. Most weeks there's nothing but a stupid Nintendo TV News program, that dare I say it was a million times better when Ian Lee did the hosting. The Official Nintendo Magazine now run that show and as you may imagine it is tiresome predictable marketing shenanigans that makes children's television look like Pano-fucking-rama. Every now and then a few special shows are released surrounding big releases like Xenoblade Chronicles and Monster Hunter but these shows tend to run for a couple of weeks and then just sort of end. You know because people are only interested in playing Monster Hunter for three weeks and wouldn't at all be interested in a longer running series. Recently the channel has become a vehicle for desperately trying to push the 3DS. Retarded from the off considering that the low-res graphics and 2D nature of the channel don't really show of 3DS games in the best light. This month really gets our goat though. What could they possibly do to restore faith in the faithful and reignite the passion for Nintendo now that Xenoblade Chronicles looks like the last big release until Skyward Sword swansongs the Wii out? A big retrospective on how great the wii is? A "top ten" wii games to pick up now video? No no.


Three, that's three Zelda Ocarina of Time video guides. Sorry I meant three subtitled Japanese Zelda Ocarina of Time video guides. Let's think about who might find these videos useful.

First we can categorise all the people watching the Nintendo Channel on their Wii into XXX useful categories.

1) People who don't have Ocarina of Time on any system. These videos are pretty fucking useless for these people.

2) People who played the original Ocarina of Time or have it on Virtual Console. Well these dickheads will have to have been waiting since 1998 to pick up such hot tips as "open the first treasure chest you see in the Deku tree" or "use your shield to defeat the deku shrubs". OH MAN. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING WRONG FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS. WHY DIDN'T I THINK TO USE MY SHIELD. GREAT NOW I CAN GET PAST THE DEKU SHRUBS. THANKS NINTENDO I'VE BEEN STUCK ON THAT TRICKY BIT BUT I STILL BOUGHT IT ON VIRTUAL CONSOLE AND PLAYED UP TO THE SAME BIT. OH AND I'M ONE OF THOSE TWATS WHO VOTES FOR OCARINA AS BEST GAME OF ALL TIME EVEN THOUGH I COULDN'T GET PAST THE DEKU SHRUBS OR THOSE INVINCIBLE SPIDERS.

3) People who have just bought Ocarina of Time on the 3DS. If any of these people find these videos genuinely useful then I don't think they have the right to play games. Alternatively, they might have figured that waiting for a video guide to appear on the Nintendo Channel might be an outside bet and used a fucking gamefaq to discover why Navi goes green or that they should climb up ladders.

In short, these videos are a fucking pointless waste of space on a channel that is also more or less a fucking waste of space. It could have been something great at best, a sort of community channel. It could have just been used as a marketing tool I find it hard to imagine they even have a marketing department so poorly is the channel sustained. As it is it just shows how much shovelware is on the DSi, 3DS and Wii. I'm pretty confident that no videos is better than a video that emphasises that there is nothing out this week except a horrible looking game called 1950s Lawnmower Kids. Soon I imagine it'll be a Wii-U promotional vehicle in which the Wii-U Nintendo Channel will be hyped as a "feature" of the console only to find that after a year its used for nothing beyond specifically highlighting how shit the crop of downloadable games for the platform is. In the meantime, Wiis will quite rightly gather dust and Nintendo can be pretty sure in that their own channel did nothing to stem people losing interest because they stopped playing Wii Sports. Morons.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Bros. They Be Smashing

Yes they be. SEE OUR PICTURES. See them. That is all we ask. Super Smash Brothers is a game that just keeps giving. We've been hard at work taking snapshots to remake the Bible as a webcomic only using Nintendo characters. Suffice to say it is a lot of work. In the meantime here's a bunch of stuff that may or may not make the final cut.
Ummm Angel Land maybe Angel Land or something. Coming soon to a 3DS near you.
INSERT CAPTION HERE.
She's giving birth to a zero suit Samus. Which makes sense.
I wonder how many bells Tom Nook will pay for this? Despite the hundreds of Zero Suit Samus photos on our Wii, we don't play her that much. TELLING.
(:()
HA HA HA JUST LIKE REAL HEDGEHOGS.
This is for my illustrated fan fiction set in a Universe where Slippy isn't a massive prick.
It's just like the film I imagine because it has never been released in Europe.

IN OTHER GAMING NEWS: Nothing. Nothing of note is happening in gaming.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Tower to Tower Complete

We love shit like this. The "way too much time on their hands" ness of it, the elaborate set up, hundreds of opportunities for cock ups and a seven year wait.


THIS is hardcore. And thank god (punctuation aside) someone has the sense to make a video that's understandable.