Thursday, July 07, 2011

What am I?

I don't have cover based shooting.
Or a morality system.
Or QTEs
Or motion controls
I don't try to push shitty 3D on you because I know that it just ruins games/films/tv/everything
I won't make you sit through an unskippable cutscene over and over
Or hours of updates every time you just want to play a game
I'm not a sequel
Or a remake
Or a wiimake
Or a demake
Or a film/book/theme park ride adaptation
Or an iPad mutant
I don't tell everyone through twitter or facebook every time you queef
I don't have anyone making utterly unrealistic hyped claims on my behalf which ultimately never transpire
My ladies walk around with their breasts covered and their front or back bulges centre shot
My men aren't stubbled, chisled or maverick
I don't demand you to upgrade your graphics card/desktop wallpaper/boyfriend in order to play me
I don't subject you to the lowest form of humans through online play
I don't have version exclusive characters or weapons you can only pay for
I'm not violent
I'm not specifically family oriented
I don't have mini games, achievements or unlockables
I don't require you to buy yet another peripheral or add on
I haven't introduced a revolutionary new feature which will be dropped in a year when everyone gets bored
I've been written by somebody who has actually read a hard backed book. Without pictures in it.
What am I?

2 comments:

Jeep Barnett said...

Henry Hatsworth?

Cunzy11 said...

Yes. Winner.