Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Capcom vs Who?

We've picked up a copy of Tatsunoko vs Capcom: Ultimate All Stars Edition. The fighters include a team of Capcom characters who we all know and love from series like Darkstalkers, Onimusha and Quiz Nanairo Dreams. You know, Quiz Nanairo Dreams. Rainbow Colour village? You know. However, you may have wondered for the last year since it came out, what the hell is a Tatsunoko?

Well readers, we went to the British Library to do some research and discovered that Tatsunoko is a DC comic about seahorses who become people with super powers. Here's the bios of the Tatsunoko Set (the name of the super hero group).

Casshan Casshan also known as Casshern is a prick. Generic in every way. He thinks it is acceptable to dress like a power ranger in 2011.

Doronjo Doronjo falls over a lot. As a result we see her knickers. A lot. She can turn into a bat, which is unusual for a woman who used to be a seahorse.

Gold Lightan It is uncertain weather Gold Lightan was made before or after the Great War started. The Golden Age of Cybertron is named after him but it is also believed that he was built by the Decepticons to lead them in the War.

Ippatsuman God this is a lot of effort for this post. Ippatsuman is Casshan's brother or something. He is constantly getting stuck in door ways due to the stupid wings on his hat.

Jun the Swan Due to a total lack of imagination, Jun is named after a swan. A fucking swan. Her super powers include harassing ducks off of rocks that she wants to sit on.

Kajiin No Soki so he has to be careful in winter else he catch a chill.


Ken the Eagle Ken was born in Cheltenham, England. A good downhill skier, he narrowly missed out on the GB team for that event for the 1984 Games. To improve his chances to qualify for 1988, he moved to Lake Placid in the US to train and enter races of a higher standard; however, he soon found himself short on funds. To realize his Olympic dream he decided to switch to ski jumping for reasons of cost and easier qualification with no other competing British ski jumpers. Ken began jumping under the watchful eye of Chuck Berghorn in Lake Placid, NY, using his equipment though he had to wear six layers of socks to make the boots fit. Ken was handicapped by his weight—at about 82 kg (181 lb), more than 9 kg (20 lb) heavier than the next heaviest competitor—and by his lack of financial support for training—he was totally self-funded. Another problem was that he was very near sighted, requiring him to wear his glasses at all times, even though when skiing they fogged to such an extent that he could not see. Ken was informed of his qualification for the Games whilst working as a plasterer and residing temporarily in a Finnish mental hospital due to lack of funds for alternative accommodation (rather than as a patient). Ken first represented Great Britain at the 1987 World Championships, and was ranked 55th in the world and this performance qualified him, as the sole British applicant, for the 1988 Winter Olympics ski jumping competition. Ken was the best ski jumper in the United Kingdom, setting a British record of 73.5 m in one of his Calgary jumps in 1988.

Polimar Polimar discovered the Planet of the Pikmin and the Pikmin species. He works at Hocotate Freight. Olimar owns and captains his ship, the S.S. Dolphin. He has a family (wife, son and daughter) on Hocotate.

Tekkaman Tekkaman is the hero of the Space Night Tekkaman series.


Cadjaman Cadjaman never buys his own fucking cigarettes. I'm serious man. He should buy his own or just give up.

So now you know. Tatsunoko vs Capcom in stores last year! So probably not in stores this year! Probably on ebay for £5, £2 with jizz stains and no book! Buy it today!

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