That guy's a Maniac...

'You can't blame people for buying pre-owned' yoinked from MCV. The CEO of Saber Interactive (?) comes out saying that games are quite expensive so you can't expect gamers to not trade in older titles. Meh, I don't really see that as the main problem behind the pre-owned market. After all, games of any worth are normally kept hold of but you can't blame people from trading in when format turnover makes older games so obsolete so quickly. Also, our personal little bugbear is that there's literally no other way to buy games pushing a year old because they're out of print and off of shelves. Digital distribution is one answer to this but I see the problem as easily solvable by actually supporting your products beyond launch week. Cunts.

“The casual gamer that used to play on the PC and the hardcore gamer that used to play on a dedicated gaming portable now plays on their smartphone,” This is probably true which is why we don't consider ourselves gamers anymore. We're just some outmoded relic who doesn't enjoy the flimsy, unreliable, download four updates every time you log in, this game was actually a better minigame in a proper game and jesus fuck who needs to play games on the bus anyway? type of gamer which is neither casual or hardcore. It's sad really because our pining for proper games equates us to that particular breed of film buff who only watches films with subtitles or films that are in black and white. Don't get us wrong, there's nothing wrong with a bit of [POPULAR MOBILE GAME IN THE GUARDIAN THIS WEEK] or [FACEBOOK GAME #1] but they don't quite provide the same level of fun as a game of Hogs of War or Wii Party nor do they really offer the rich experiences of Resident Evil or

It's that time again. New console/handheld device time. Time for endless coverage. How does it smell? What comes in the box with it? How long is the power cord? How many minutes will it survive in a hot glass of milk? It's tiresome and we're pretty sick of all the video game news outlets just abandoning normal service to churn out endless insignificant details. We're almost tempted to abandon proper gaming to try out all that iphone shit so we don't have to filter through 40 posts about what scientifically feasible colours a 3DS could or might come in. Even worse is that you can't see the fucking 3D effect through shitty videos. Can't we just this once keep everything a surprise? Can we? Let us not spoil it so that we've all rated and reviewed every single game and feature before it has even come out. Whilst we're at it, the DS is still the best platform currently available to people. Let's show it some love before buying all the games we have al

I got ill for Christmas. Cold sweats, runny nose, the lot and because I was in lands-a-foreign, the only thing I had to see me through moments when I wasn't delirious was a DS and a random selection of games. I needed to play a game that wouldn't mind me running away to snot every few seconds and also one that I could play in all three positions (laying on my front, reverse cowboy and neck propped up). Turns out Final Fantasy III was the only game that I had on me that fits the bill, annoyingly. I say annoyingly for three good reasons. Firstly, in something that might be called RPGitis I've been stuck on the same bit for years now. If you ever played an RPG, particularly a Squeenix one, you'll have no doubt experienced something similar. When I load up my game I find that I'm outside a city. I go into the city but from the way everyone is welcoming my guys like heroes, it's clear I've just finished what I needed to do for these city dwellers. I have no godl

Last week David Cameron was widely covered in the newspapers surrounding his ambition to create a Silicon City in East London. Although you might expect us to be excited about this it actually left us feeling a bit deflated and annoyed. Why, why is it time for a bulleted list? Yes yes it is. Reasons Why David Cameron and Silicon City annoyed TGAM. Video Games weren't mentioned at all in the coverage we read and we've just finished reading the excellent excellent Replay: the History of Video Games which is not just a damn fine book but it is so meticulously researched that we had revelation after revelation about how games came to be but also how games ended up being responsible for a great deal of the technological stuff that we now take for granted (including operating systems, twitter and facebook). To omit games seems a little bit short sighted when in fact we do have a good games industry in this country........ Especially with the increasing frustration over the scrapping

'MCV is the leading news site for the game industry. Check out our news, press releases and interviews.' Is the annoying tagline that comes with the first line of every news story from MCV from the comfort of my feed reader. I don't know but (checks...) yes. MCV's website is one of those horrible Gamespot format ones where it looks like someone has nose spewed onto the page and then garnished it with adverts mid- fucking-article. Just let the whole story through the feed reader and not just a tagline and let me choose whether or not I want to read more than two lines of your stories.

Another hundred video game forums retread the same six questions about the Wii. We occasionally engage in a handful of forums until we realise why we stopped the last time. The flavour of the last five years on console forums is to discuss the death of the Wii. The death of third party support. The death of core gaming. The death of non HD gaming. Over and over again. The same arguments backed up with time honoured gut feeling and rhetoric. This heroic poster over at neogaf, Hunahan writes what I would were I not making dick jokes or getting angry at the dumbness of the gaming community. What? There's tons of third party support. At almost every given moment of this generation, there has been more third party games for Wii than for any other system on the market. Let's just cut to the real question. What you're really asking is why the Wii doesn't have the next big installments of Resident Evil, GTA, JRPG XIII, Platinum Games Presents, Castlevania Of War, or whatever t

Readers of this here blog will notice that aside from posts about pokemon, vibrating attachments for various mp3 players and a love hate relationship with achievements is that we occasionally begrudge getting told what's next. Already there's stifled hype for the next generation leaking out all over the place. Iwata has started the Wii 2 hype train with typical no news statements and as usual the shit eaters are eating it up. There's no discerning or questioning here. Something new? Give it to me. Give me something new they say. SO this current generation has had longer than most but that's a pretty arbitrary measurement of how 'good we've had it'. Richie and I often theoretically talk about educating a complete non gamer in the way of games. We compile a big old list of all the games that really add something new or show off the best of video games. Our hypothetical non gamer has to play through them all chronologically and at the end is given a certificat

Nintendo are pushing DQIX so hard and via the various channels that we consume all things video games we run the risk of getting Dragon Quest indigestion. Both EDGE magazine and ONM have run DQ retrospectives and articles in addition to those horrid PROMOTIONAL FEATURES that look like NON-PROMOTIONAL OBJECTIVE FEATURES. There have also been a couple of DQIX videos on the Nintendo Channel and a number of prime-time TV spots. Even the bloody real-life newspapers were carrying reviews and previews on Sunday. There was no escaping it. And yes, we know how they all go. "DQ sold a bagillion copies in Japan". "Nobody is interested here". Except for the PS2 version. That was quite good. Yet, for all this rhetoric and the unanimous glowing reviews we aren't even going to bother buying it, here's why. Firstly, and least importantly, there just isn't the culture of ad-hoc multiplayer play here that there is in Japan. I lose count of the games that have these 'n

E3 again folks! E3 again! Want to see the games you'll be picking up for £10 in two months from now? Sure thing . Need some more ammunition to keep up those tired old 'console wars' between you and other moron-losers on the forum? Hey fuckface. It's Efunking3. Want to be told what shit you'll be eating next and exactly how to grin whilst you do it? Well then, you may have heard of a lil ol thing called E3. Here's our how to guide: 1) Find the official live E3 presentation stream a Danish pirate stream that occupies a small 2 by 3 cm screen with six or seven pixels worth of definition, get some popcorn and settle in to watch the laggy presentations whilst clueless meatheads keep asking "So am I supposed to play Gears 3 standing up?" over and over and over again in between the indistinguishable Danish chit chat in the 'open chat box'. 2) Milliseconds after anyone says anything Alt tab to the one of the myriad of fora you have open and type in LO

Prostitutes. More specifically, killing prostitutes. Having sex with a prostitute and then killing her and getting your money back. This is but one thing you have been able to do in Grand Theft Auto games since GTA III. Sure, you could view a thousand beautiful sunsets, save lives as an ambo paramedic, drive a motor bike off of a fuck-off great mountain and parachute to earth or, if you were so inclined, elope with a white priest on a yacht to a secluded stretch sea for some serious inter-racial homosexual making out sessions*. There were thousands of things you could do in GTA which is one of the many many reasons why the games flew off the shelves. It's kinda what 'sandbox game' means. Sadly it seems none of those other possibilities piqued the interest of newscasters, alarmist journalists or lazy politicians quite so much as the prostitute scenario. To labour the point, you could, if so inclined, you could just drive real slow and careful, looking for blacks . But of

No. They are films. Except documentaries. They are TV shows? Anyway, we're already more than a line into this blog and nobody has looked at the wittle puppy. Look at the widdle puppy! This reminds us, if Nintendo and Capcom carry on this massive love in after Monster Hunter Tri then we we would quietly suggest a Nintendogs:Okamiden Version. Yes we would. In other news: this list is pretty interesting . If you are reading this on a feed reader then this is super secret text for you none of the other readers can see this but if they did make Nintenokamiden then they should totally allow bad touching to get the furries buying this sick filth. I'll take a 10% cut of all profits CapTendo. 20% if you allow bad touching. Cheers!

We twatted this the other day but seeing as we have a spare 8 seconds instead of the spare 2 seconds it's another post! You lucky mugs. In the Gamerati circles video game culture striving for acceptance by the rest of the world is a popular subject. Many critics are eager to point out that we are already there. Sadly, film is, without warrant, still wholesale held in some higher regard as an art form. Even though most films are genuinely ridiculous or awful. A look at the box office over the last year though indicates that video games influence runs far and wide. Not necessarily for the better either. Non-fans of super heroes, zombies, aliens, werewolves or wizards have had three okayish films to watch in the last twelve months. Enough already. This was compounded on a recent trip to the movies when ever single trailer was either comic book sequel or strangely familiar . No More Heroes: The Movie God of War: The Movie* Heavy Rain** *Yeah okay, wh

Click the title for the link. Some nonsense about a lady off the telly going on about violent video games again. Which reminds us we wanted you all to have these links if you are genuinely interested: The Byron review . 2007-2008 review into keeping children protected online. A full report, a summary report and a report for young people are available so no excuses. Review of research on the impact of violent computer games on young people . A DCMS review of the research up until 2006 on the link between violent videogames and young people. With interesting conclusions as to the nature and quality of that research. How to set parental controls on the Wii , Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 . That awful Susan Greenfield woman again. Digital Britain 2009 report into Brits and what they get up to online. Some interesting stats here. Don't Shoot a 2007 proper look at violence and video games links and you know, proper research. Lastly and we're being naughty here Atro

So many piss jokes we don't know where to start. All the major gaming news networks reported that two Heavy Rain 'videos' were 'leaked' (when is the game out again?). One of which was the opening sequence, the other was gameplay of slutbungwulla having a shower and having a wee. We watched both videos on your behalf and here are our thoughts: 1) It is a fucked up world where a video of a virtual woman having a wee generates more interest than all those videos of virtual death and mass murder. Even more so that either of those kinds of videos drums up more interest than all that depressing 'news' stuff on real MDKs. 2) On the upside, the shower scene is so devoid of titilation (ha tit) that only the most frustrated of adolescents are in danger of getting aroused. However, it is really boring. This is an unattractive woman having a shower after a hard day at work perhaps? From what we saw she doesn't frig or hide the soap. She just showers a bit.

Apparently, Dittos* are going extinct, according to yesterday's newspaper the METRO. This is stupid. Everyone has a Ditto right? And they aren't fished, you just catch them in the grass. I have a spare if anyone is interested. Or find them at music festivals. But they aren't very good. By the time you have wasted a turn you are then in the unfortunate position in that your foe knows all your moves. We hate it when newspapers get all their shit wrong. Stupid newspapers. Sadly I only worked out Ditto wasn't great when it dinged level 89. *We know it should be Ditto not Dittos but we love annoying those wiki pricks who genuinely care about it. Because when the aliens find part of a server floating round in the space where Earth used to be, they're really gonna be concerned about the correct way of pluralising a fictional monster. Anyway if it does go extinct we won't have to worry about that.

Read it here . Basically, former who-is-that-guy-again? leader of the tory party, IDS has pulled a Vaz. This time though, avoiding Vaz's idiotic mistake a few weeks back, he appears to be aware of all the laws about selling stuff to people who aren't old enough to buy it all. He just says nobody pays attention. He also comes out with: “We are driving children to lose their childhood, and some video games are incredibly violent, like Grand Theft Auto. They are meant to be 18 but nobody cares what it says on the label." Fuck off IDS. Just fuck off. When was the last time you took a bus after 11pm in this country? That's violence right there. Real actual violence. In fact for anyone living in London they probably see violence every week. I know I do. And then of course there are violent films on TV all day every day which anyone can watch with no restrictions whatsoever. Oh and books. When was the last time you got ID(S'ed?) for a book? And even then. Even if 1997 gam

Games Industry biz has the scoop parsed via Kotaku because we can't be arsed to register for GIZ! Because that means cum. Basically, a bunch of nobodys are whinging about Nintendo not doing enough to advertise WiiWare and DSiWare and all the online stuff. Unfortunately, this coincides with Nintendo running some rather good adverts on the telly box about how to get your Wii online and why you should. Unfortunately neither umm Pong Toss or Christmas Clix are featured in the ad.

Okay, okay, who had 1.14 on the 8th of January for Peter Molyneux to start making big huge bullshit hype claims about big games that will ultimately never be realised upon release and end up as 7/10 this-game-had-some-great-ideas-but-totally-cacked-up-the-rest? Did anyone have that late in the year? No? Looks like 2011 will be a rollover! To be fair to the guy, as much as we kid , Civilisation was an awesome game.

Bored of video game lists? Loins not set ablaze by underground train stations? Then boy you are in the wrong place because here is TGAM's Top 5 Underground Train Stations* in games list. We may have done this list before that is how low on ideas we are. 5. Santa Destroy Tube Station . This is one of those ones we remembered so put it in here. You don't actually do much in it and all of the stairways and doorways are blocked off with wet floor signs or red cones. There are vending machines. You get the train to fight Destroy Man. 4. Raccoon City Tube Station . Somehow the zombie plague has caused some underground trains to crash. Maybe they ate the driver or something and he braked too hard in his death throws. Anyway, it is a scary place and looks exactly like Santa Destroy station. Is this how all American Tube stations look? My sample size of two says yes. Also, here's a fun fact in America they call the tube (or Underground) the sub-surfarizerotor. 3. Silen