Dilemma: Guiness World Records Gamer's Edition

Aaaaaargh. I hate it. Stupid records like 'World's Most Successful Pokemon Playing Family'. That isn't a proper record. 'World's largest controller' IT WAS PURPOSEFULLY BUILT FOR THE BOOK. How does that count? What an utter nonsense. Combining the world's most pointless record keeping organisation with one of the world's most pointless leisure-time endeavours surely deserves a record for the world's most pointless collaboration? Also 90% of these records are absolutely contested, instantly out of date and very poorly monitored and some come from the INTERNET of all places. We all saw King of Kong are those guys to be trusted?

Woooooah. Amazing. Did you know that: The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall has 750,000 NPCs? And that the fastest speed run of Tomb Raider is 2hrs and 39 minutes by a woman! Did you know that Resident Evil 2 is the most popular RE on the PS2 (change the record dudes)? Did you know that Darkstalkers umm mash up/spin off Vampire Chronicle was the first online fighting game? Also, how cool is it to see a book about video games on sale on the high street? IT'S LIKE GAMING IS ALL PROPER AND STUFF FOR REAL PEOPLE.

To buy or not to buy given that one Guinness World Record's Gamer's Edition is already two too many for our household. Hmmmmmmmmm.


  1. This thing is perfect. I hope it includes categories I have a shot at, like:

    - Most hours spent dicking around Monster Island in FF VIII before abandoning the game without completing it.

    - Number of progressively mutated-looking avatars created for Elder Scrolls: Oblivion before just saying "Fuck it. I'll be a goddamn lizard. At least they can breathe underwater."

    - Number of save files moved to a USB stick to make room for Dragon Age: Origin Expanded Deluxe GOTY Edition's attempt to download the entire Playstation Network.

    - Number of hours spent regretting the purchase of the budget-priced 30GB PS3 four years ago. (It just seemed like that would be enough space for some saves and whatever.)

    - Shortest amount of time between loading of a co-op game of Diablo to both participants beating the hell out of each other.

    - Number of QTEs eye-rolled at.

    - Greatest amount of money spent in Just Cause 2 by kids playing their dad's save file without permission.

    - Also: whenever I load it up my weapons are always out of bullets. At least the airlifts are free.

  2. Wow who knew we had a record breaking reader? Our accolades possibly include:

    - Record amount of time spent undressing Sharla from Xenobldae Chronicles and rotating her about for about 30 seconds so her boobs jiggle then quickly turning off the Wii in shame.

    - This filth http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2010/08/whos-worse.html

    - Record number of hits for "Sheva Nude" with an average dwell time of less than half a second.


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