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Showing posts with the label as if

South Park: Stick of Truth

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So again we are reviewing a game that came out ages ago. But man... we just completed this bad boy and its fantastic. First up is the animation! It's flawless the whole thing plays like watching an episode, all the story events include your character right in there wearing what ever clothes you have given them, outside of that the player moves in familiar areas and it feels exactly like South Park. Extreme Kudos on that. Gameplay is sweet, the RPG mechanic they put in there is so much fun to play the character attacks are fun, if a bit repetitive, to watch. You level up you gain access to new and funny attacks, you can even ply with perks and customise your character further. The plot, The game is plot driven and it's so fucking funny, there is so many nods to references throughout the entire 20ish years South Park has been running. It's got the same laugh out loud, shock, cringe, factor as the show, brilliantly done. There are some familiar references and a couple

Formula Zero Grand Xix

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Who wants a review of a nine year old game? Who DOESN'T want a review of a nine year old game more like? Yes Wii U is almost upon us and all those retarded journos, the morons who run GAME and those ridiculous early adopters won't stop bloody going on about it. However, much like the 3DS it feels like a series of reruns. There's genuinely nothing original on the platform bar Nintendoland but I can tell you now that 90% of Wii U games won't pick up on the brilliant idea of hiding information on the game pad or asymmetric gameplay.  It'll be like motion controls all over again. Everyone and their dog will make platformers where poor old player 5 (the mum character in the current TV spots) jabs the screen to create platforms and generally has far less fun than a quick spot of rub the man in the boat.   But fuck new games. I'm still catching up with the Gamecube releases. I distrust those pricks online who claim to be 'bored' by a console (normally

Dilemma: Guiness World Records Gamer's Edition

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Aaaaaargh. I hate it. Stupid records like 'World's Most Successful Pokemon Playing Family'. That isn't a proper record. 'World's largest controller' IT WAS PURPOSEFULLY BUILT FOR THE BOOK. How does that count? What an utter nonsense. Combining the world's most pointless record keeping organisation with one of the world's most pointless leisure-time endeavours surely deserves a record for the world's most pointless collaboration? Also 90% of these records are absolutely contested, instantly out of date and very poorly monitored and some come from the INTERNET of all places. We all saw King of Kong are those guys to be trusted? Woooooah. Amazing. Did you know that: The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall has 750,000 NPCs? And that the fastest speed run of Tomb Raider is 2hrs and 39 minutes by a woman! Did you know that Resident Evil 2 is the most popular RE on the PS2 ( change the record dudes )? Did you know that Darkstalkers umm mash up/spin off 

David Cameron and Silicon City. Wot no games?

Last week David Cameron was widely covered in the newspapers surrounding his ambition to create a Silicon City in East London. Although you might expect us to be excited about this it actually left us feeling a bit deflated and annoyed. Why, why is it time for a bulleted list? Yes yes it is. Reasons Why David Cameron and Silicon City annoyed TGAM. Video Games weren't mentioned at all in the coverage we read and we've just finished reading the excellent excellent Replay: the History of Video Games which is not just a damn fine book but it is so meticulously researched that we had revelation after revelation about how games came to be but also how games ended up being responsible for a great deal of the technological stuff that we now take for granted (including operating systems, twitter and facebook). To omit games seems a little bit short sighted when in fact we do have a good games industry in this country........ Especially with the increasing frustration over the scrappi

Metroid Prime 3 A REVIEW OF SORTS Part 1

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Dear all. We have only just finished Metroid Prime 3: Corruption but before snarky web morons laugh out loud and then point out that it took us three years to complete a game, we would like to qualify that it took us 22 hours actually. We had other stuff to do between 2007 and now. The Other Stuff We Did Didn't spend all our time on Internet forums complaining about how we might have to dust off our Wii because we play every single game that comes out to completion in about two days because we are school-aged losers who have no other life to speak of. Competitive sports. The manly ones. Talking about cars. We like the ones with alloys on the pistons. Trying to get platinum medals for everything on Timesplitters Future Perfect even though officially we pretend the series stopped at 2. Emailing Penny Arcade monthly or so with various ruses. They are either so cunning they see through our excellent ruses or they don't read 90% of the shit most people send them. Lying to our youn

Little King's Story- First Impressions.

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Even in the days of hype and over exposure where every screenshot, press release and 'leak' is vivisected and analysed there are still few moments in gaming that match the trepidation of loading up a game for the first time. Our personal ritual is to make sure there are no other distractions for the first spool up. The tea is brewed, the cat is fed, the phone is silenced, the meat is beat so that until we are prompted to press start our full attention is on the first impression of yet another new virtual world. Sometimes, the impression is a bad one, a misstep in the opening FMV, poor design or a hard to navigate menu dramatically drops the expectations. Sometimes games whisk you through the back door the first time you play dumping you straight into the game, a practice which we are always a bit suspicious about, for some people the mantle really does matter as much as the fireplace. Little King's Story had us completely charmed by the time we got to starting the game, the

Gaming oxymoron of the day-double bonus!

It's the Escapist again with the headline: " Gears of War 3 Writer is Acclaimed Star Wars Novelist " In fact, make that a double oxymoron. As if Gears of War has writers and as if a Star Wars Novelist can be acclaimed.