Burnout Revenge

You have probably all seen this by now, the thing about the burnout ads. By probably I mean I know because I have spoken to Richie and the other reader of the blog and you've both seen it. Also, the blackhole of all gaming news kotaku has also had a post about it so all the stupid people have seen it too.

Basially 37 people complained about the posters for the new burnout claiming that it might inspire people to vandalise or crash cars or somesuch. My initial reaction is to flinch into a rage because it's something negative about gaming and I'm a gamer and it makes an easy post to write and everyone else is writing about it. However, I've had a think about it and the thing that really irks me is the 37 London commuters who think that they are some kind of moral guardians for society. What kind of person, whilst waiting for their no doubt late or packed tube train, glances up from their London Lite and sees the ad and thinks "Jesus Christ! No. Not again. Don't they understand that people who are stupider than myself will die if they see this ad? I have to step in and save humanity. I'll ring the ASA when I get to work." If this is how advertising works then I'm thinking about running and advert that shows people who phone the ASA on behalf of society hanging themselves.

I'll tell you what kind of person. The kind of person who hates their life. If they had their way the only game you'll be able to play are realtime ones where you don't do to well at school and have to abandon your real life dreams and so you end up working some shitty job fucking some ugly partner you don't really want to be with whilst fantasizing about throttling your own children and escaping to a life in the sun sipping alcoholic free cocktails. When you reach middle age in the game there is a twenty year minigame where you actually write to advertising authorities about how you find any kind of media that is slightly exhilirating a direct stab at how shitty and empty your life is so you have to complain about them so that everyone else is a bored and tired and lonely as yourself.

I follow adverts and I'm thinking of phoning the ASA to complain that according to adverts the world is largely filled with beautiful vacuous people. In fact the converse is true but adverts have irresponsibly led me to believe and expect waif beaties and generic hunks to be lurking on every corner with their chest, boobies and camel toes out. In reality it's 10 year old cretins who pronounce ask "arks" and who will stab you because they are part of a 'gang' and you said "Excuse me" when you tried to get past them, which on the street clearly means you are dissing their South London Hood, which is probably called Waverley Crescent or some other non ghetto name.

In other news:

Mortal Kombat is still the worse game series in existence. It was good for 2 seconds in the 90s until the novelty of really bad blood drops wore off. The films were OK.


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