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Showing posts with the label Media = Cunts

Resident Evil Remix - Actual Media Content!

There are few precious things in the world which we hold dear, one of these is the Resident evil 2 - Clubbed to Death Remix. It mashes up the classic club hit "Clubbed to Death" with the even more classic dialogue of Resident evil 2.

It just turns it all in to a Pre-Y2k nostalgic mess for us, we start crying, for our lost youth etc etc.

Anyways, I have not been able to find this little gem anywhere. For years it has been sitting in a corner of "My Documents" folder of a hard drive long past it's best before date. There is a lot of mythos about this mix, as it only contains the Leon B Scenario! What happened to Leon A scenario remix? I heard rumours that there was an alternative Claire scenario remix done to the tune of "Boom, Boom, Boom Boom" by the Vengaboys. Hit us up if any of you have these bad boys taking up a few MB on your failing HDDs.

Love and Ada, Ada Wong,

Richie X

London Riots and GTA?

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Yes people with astonishing predictability at least one newspaper is saying the riots in London are inspired by GTA. First of all this is idiotic. GTAIV is now three years old. Secondly, you can't 'riot' in GTA. Almost as soon as you set something on fire, the fire engines turn up and the police show godlike tenacity and initiative when you start a crime spree. Perhaps we should get our police officers and firemen to play GTA and it might inspire them to be more effective?

Secondly, this is yet another example of sloppy reporting by the media. These riots were clearly inspired by 1999's Urban chaos, where gangs take to the streets to fuck things up and:


The 2002 game State of Emergency. And look! It's by Rockstar, the same purveyors of such filth as Bully, GTA, Table Tennis and Manhunt.


Do your fucking research you lazy media cunts.

Xbox 360 Marketing the shit out of Kinect (and other things)

Watching the goggle box yesterday was almost like watching the PS3/Xbox360 ads channel with the occasional television programme in between.

PS3 are gunning for attention with an Assassin's Creed Brotherhood ad with music and very mild violence ("exclusive features for the PlayStation 3" presumably means you can play as a Sackboy).

Meanwhile Kinect ads ran almost every single break. I don't know if it was deliberate or not but every single advert had a glitchy blip at the same place when the 360 logo came up at the end. Maybe they've changed their branding to be more in line with the Kinect experience.

Anyone else notice that (for reference, during Vampire Diaries- yes now you can JUDGE ME ON MY TELEVISION WATCHING HABITS)?

Never go full retard.

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Here's a little insight into the world of video games journalism. We've all thought about doing it but no journo with integrity would ever go through with it. Hell, we flew pretty close to the wind one time but we pulled out at the last minute.

However, Owen Good at Kotaku has broken one of the golden rules of games journalism. It's so meta we just don't even know where to look or to start reading it from.

Yes. Kotaku has lowered the community IQ by several hundred points by doing a top 5 list of other top ten lists. Click only if you are brave enough.

Oh and Owen, don't forget some of the top tens we've had here over the years including:

Cunzy1 1's Top Ten Non lethal Weapons in Video Games.

Cunzys top 10 computer game characters he like to get screenshots/photos of cos-players of, so that he can get hard, as nothing else does it now.

Top 5 Shit pokemon that are shit, but not quite as shit as the top 5 lamest pokemon that 1up posted:

TGAM's Top Ten "O…

Public Service Notice 48

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This public service notice relates to the use of the term "facepalm". The use of such a term is increasing in forums, on blogs and on those motivational poster images. The users of the term may wish to rethink using it as it is only really used by american people who spend more than two hours a day watching cartoon network. Here are some suggested alternatives to use to impress fellow children on the internet:

Gosh that was really embarassing for that person.
Whoops.
Oh dear that was unfortunate that that thing happened to that guy and everyone saw it.

Please help make the internet a cleaner, more respectable place so that alien archaeologists don't have to shift through so much shit when trying to work out whether or not humanity was all that or not.

The State of Play

For all the imploring for games to become more mainstream and "accepted", for all the essays by pretentioushacks trying to read more into gaming than is necessary, for all the protests and for all the forum threads that go on for years about the best characters or the top ten...... For all the social and political commentators bigging up the merits of games for education and art. For all those and more it must be pretty galling to see that Pro Evo just knocked FIFA off the top sales spot.

That's right, for all your whinging and whining about games the meatheads have it. The yearly update to a football game is what most real people are interested in. A game about a game where unnaturally shaven millionaires play football against each other. Unlucky.

We're applying for a job at Joystiq

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They put out a call to all bloggers as they are looking for some weekend staff. So we thought we would apply. Why not? Well because Joystiq is a bit of an in joke for all gamers. And as with all great humour, you should never have to explain your own joke. So we're going to explain our own joke:

Joystiq is a site that has ambitions. It so desperately wants to be Kotaku that it regularly steals posts from it except the posts are never as good. Also, they have stolen a site design from the early 1990s and I think you'll agree that it looks like one of those sites you get when you accidentally type http://www.hotmaik.com/ or if you type "bored at work" into a web browser.

So here's the application and before you start it does look like we are a bit ghey for Kotaku. That's not neccessarily the case but they are the best place for regularly updated gaming news.


Dear Nintendo Blogger at Gmail
This here email is an answer to the ‘call for bloggers’. We’ll get strai…

TGAM E3

Oh man so I'm all "at E3" even though there is no E3 and oh man here's a list of the top ten most anticipated games at E3 and whatever and then I went to a Sony thing at E3 man they've got things and then I'm like all over at Nintendo E3 and we should have a poll about who is better at E3 and it's like totally Nintendo or something and then there's Halo 3 at E3 and Tony Hawk oh man and I'm all over E3 at E3. Here I am with E3 and like a new sonic game.

WHATEVER VIDEOGAMES BLOGS SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT E3. If you take one thing from E3 this year take this and shove it down your japs eye like you used to with the paperclips.

Fucking E3.

Omastar Comics #2

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I will keep posting these as a form of protest until Resident Evil 2 or Resident Evil Outbreak are released on the DS with proper co-op play over Wi-Fi or wireless.

This week Omastar discusses global warming from an extinct marine invertebrate perspective.


Burnout Revenge

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You have probably all seen this by now, the thing about the burnout ads. By probably I mean I know because I have spoken to Richie and the other reader of the blog and you've both seen it. Also, the blackhole of all gaming news kotaku has also had a post about it so all the stupid people have seen it too.

Basially 37 people complained about the posters for the new burnout claiming that it might inspire people to vandalise or crash cars or somesuch. My initial reaction is to flinch into a rage because it's something negative about gaming and I'm a gamer and it makes an easy post to write and everyone else is writing about it. However, I've had a think about it and the thing that really irks me is the 37 London commuters who think that they are some kind of moral guardians for society. What kind of person, whilst waiting for their no doubt late or packed tube train, glances up from their London Lite and sees the ad and thinks "Jesus Christ! No. Not again. Don't …

Manhunt 2: The Real Scoop. Update 2.

Ah well, doesnt matter what BBFC, Ther daily Mail or JT say...

Sony spokesperson said: “It's currently our policy not to allow the playback of AO-rated content on our systems.”A Nintendo rep said:“As stated on Nintendo.com, Nintendo does not allow any AO-rated content on its systems.”From Gizmodo

Manhunt 2: The Real Scoop. Update.

We have another update from resident thatgirler Kaiser.Tia:

Yeah, there's a confusion of the different issues with the three big game stories recently - the Law and Order case was just stupid - the developers should have known better then to use real-life stuff like that (it wasn't even a funny easter egg - just a dim-witted, under-researched example of a stupid development team).

The whole Manchester Cathedral story is actually quite interesting - with games technology becoming able to render real-world locations in realistic detail, are games that showcase real locations going to have to ask permission first, like the film industry? I have a lot of sympathy for the CoE in this case, because I can't imagine they'd ever give permission to a Hollywood movie to film on location, especially a movie involving soldiers, aliens and shooting. I wouldn't be surprised if the games industry has to jump through similar hoops that Hollywood does when it comes to '…

Manhunt 2: The Real Scoop.

Yeah I’m sure we have all heard it, “Manhunt 2 – Banned in the UK”, for its Casual Sadism blah blah blah. Yeah the game uses a pretty nasty format, stalking and killing but hey I would like people to remember that it is a game. I would like to draw comparisons to Deerhunter: sneak up on the poor defenceless animal, blow its brains out…

“Rejecting a work is a very serious action and one which we do not take lightly,” BBFC director David Cooke stated. “Where possible we try to consider cuts or, in the case of games, modifications which remove the material which contravenes the Board’s published Guidelines."

Where do the differences lie then? Rather than a VIRTUAL generic forest, the game is set in VIRTUAL, dark, sordid, rust world. And rather than kill VIRTUAL mighty stags, the player can kill VIRTUAL human beings in VIRTUAL brutal ways.

But yeah, we all know the generic formulae of Manhunt, stalk, sneak, kill. Seen a million times before, since the first stalk-em-ups on the origi…