That guy's a Maniac...

Do we go: Pretentious Wanker and choose the most obscure flash game, that essentially recreates one alrightish mini-game from an Amiga game once? Nearer the truth but Crass and choose CoD? Back to our roots and choose a Wii game that we might be able to play with another normal human being and not get embarrassed because tits/violence-that-adolescents-find-amusing comes up and undermines all that envangelising about how games are worthy or wider appreciation? Democratic and just say WoW? Completely wrong and say Alan Wake? Like a proper fucking man and say Gran Turismo 5? Full retard and say some iOS game? Or with our heart and say Monster Hunter Tri? Decisions decisions.

We're quite disappointed with the current generation of consoles, particularly the HD ones. What they gained in processing power they mostly squandered on pretty graphics but gameplay by and large still riffing on what we'd been introduced to in the PS2 days. We're being harsh. There were some leaps forward, mostly in terms of online connectivity but here's four features we believe should just be standard. In all games. From now on. 1) Screenshots. LET THE PEOPLE TAKE SCREENSHOTS. For the love of christ. Not only does it mean that we can share such lovely in game memories as the one above but it makes writing, blogging and social networking about games sooooo much easier. Especially RPGs. You want to cherish those precious memories long after the internal memory has perished so just let us take a screenshot wherever and whenever we want. Whilst we are at it also, why every single game doesn't rip off Halo 3's Theatre mode we don't know. Our ratio of playing

You've all seen these: The standard retail display for UK game sellers. There's a bunch of games, maybe organised alphabetically and then in pride of place a selection of 10 or 20 games next to some big numbers. This particular display was snapped at Currys/PC World/Tech Guys type store. You see them everywhere though, GAME, Gamestation, Toys'R'Us. This is the frontline of game retailing. The burning question is what the fuck is the reasoning behind the numbers? Is one better or worse than ten? Let's take a closer look at this particular display, snapped on the 13 December in detail. At number 1 is Wii Party. Could it be top seller? Or maybe a new release? At number 2 we have Just Dance and the Prince of Persia Wiimakes. Possibly top sellers still? Although I didn't think PoP did half as well as Just Dance. Nor was it half as fun. In at number three we have the Force Unleashed 2? Number 4 is both Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and that classic game, Big

Yes. Good. We heard rumours that Capcom was ditching the gratuitous tits shots in upcoming games. PUT THAT RUMOUR TO BED.

I shit you not! this is the box art for a Nintendo DS game in Japan.  The Game is called "Fly Mr.Science - Great Expedition of the Earth! Challenge the Mysterious and Strange Creatures." Mr Science is the man with no skin on the right. :( Love and visible sinews. Richie X

You know I used to play a lot of PC games. And one thing that bothered me was PC input of Joypads. You dont get it so much nowadays, as most are cross compatible with the 360 Joypad. ut for those games that still demand a Keyboard mouse combination. I always wanted a "Multiple input" translation. I wanted things like do the Hadouken input to relate to a function or even the Mortal Kombat controls like Up, Up+B top to be translated to a keypress. Admittedly this harked back to the days when I played WoW and I wanted D, DR, R+HK/MK/LK to relate to the different types of fire spells I could cast as my mage. Just... Why hasnt something like this happened? It may not be entirely useful, but c'mon, we're all gamers here. Surely some technophile out there wanted to run a browser or something using Street Fighter moves? :/ Well anyway. Love and Shoryuken!, Richie X

You know I used to play a lot of PC games. And one thing that bothered me was PC input of Joypads. You dont get it so much nowadays, as most are cross compatible with the 360 Joypad. ut for those games that still demand a Keyboard mouse combination. I always wanted a "Multiple input" translation. I wanted things like do the Hadouken input to relate to a function or even the Mortal Kombat controls like Up, Up+B top to be translated to a keypress. Admittedly this harked back to the days when I played WoW and I wanted D, DR, R+HK/MK/LK to relate to the different types of fire spells I could cast as my mage. Just... Why hasnt something like this happened? It may not be entirely useful, but c'mon, we're all gamers here. Surely some technophile out there wanted to run a browser or something using Street Fighter moves? :/ Well anyway. Love and Shoryuken!, Richie X

A common counter argument for those trying to interpret games, either with an agenda or without, is that they haven't played enough games to warrant their opinion being worth even contemplating. In a post which has just vanished from Kotaku (who knows it may or may not be here ) Salman Rushdie has something to say but, you know what, he hasn't played as many games as us so let us just discount everything he says. But exactly how many games does one need to play so that the gamers will listen. Here's our handy guide for when you want to say something about games but may be worried you aren't qualified enough. 0 Games- Rogert Ebgert or whoever, resides here. You ain't got nothing. You got no stock. Anything you say will cause knee flinching reactions and anywhere up to six months worth of everyone chipping in, ironically, about how you have nothing to say on the matter. 1-10 Games Alright Johnny casual? We hate to tell you but Farmville, Snake, Angry Birds, Wii Spor

So Pokemon Black and White are now out in some parts of the world and there's now a whole bunch of new Pokemon to go after for the impossible task of catching them all . As ever when there's something new of different people will fear, hate and even write essays on their own wiki discussion pages. Team TGAM is split on the new critters. Richie is excited about some of the new type match ups and I just look at this page and slowly shake my head until my neck aches. However, love them or hate them this new generation has finally given us that last Pokemon with the specific characteristics needed for us to create this image which we've been dreaming of making for years. Click for its splendor to fill your screen. Okay. Time for a new dream!

Like all aspiring middle class people the only paper we buy is the Graudian and the Observer and every week we get a little bit angry that games are never covered in The Review supplement. That Travel and Sport get their whole own separate supplements is a bog post for another day. Like a lot of other gamers we're still waiting for an audible 'ding' to alert us to the fact that yes, games are now socially acceptable. If you so wished you too could hijack a dinner party/pub lunch with a boring lecture about games in the same way that it is acceptable for wine bores, travel bores and I've just popped a child bores to do. Even though games probably already are socially acceptable we're still waiting for the ding. The batman signal in the sky, the ironic t-shirt that becomes an unofficial trendy uniform, the endless historical documentaries on BBC4 or even our own OBE. Even more frustrating is that the Guardian do have a fairly decent crop of games writers who don't

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are happy to announce that the Barioth from Monster Hunter Tri is the latest video game character to enter the 'Jumpy Twat Hall of Fame'. Barioth is the latest video game character to have solicited over 1 million frustrated calls of 'Jumpy Twat!' and thus eligible to enter the JTHoF joining such luminary jumpy twats as all of Bowser's children, Half Life headcrabs, Alien facehuggers and eliminators from Resident Evil. Jumpy Twats all. Why can't you just stand still for a second? I'm just trying to do something.

CLICK THIS SHIT.

...another whinge about the problem with pre-owned games. Our stance is very clear and we've bored each other (and hence 100% of the readership) silly with it but until news posts about it desist we won't desist looking on in amazement. Our problem with retailers is that they, in no way, really try to offer up the best of gaming. Older platforms vanish from shelves within weeks and new games enjoy the spotlight for a couple of weeks. We for example are keen discerning gamers at the time of life with a little bit of disposable income yet time and time again we have to head online or buy second hand games to get the kinds of games we want to play. At all. There isn't a brand new copy sitting on a shelf with convenient distance that I'm ignoring. I prefer to buy games brand new (although not on launch day and certainly not at the ridiculous prices some games are). In most cases, these games aren't obscure or limited run games. They're fairly big releases (recent ex

NOT BEN10 that hideous cartoon that isn't as good as all those cartoons we grew up on M.A.S.K etc. but a charming little Belgian film. When we're used to getting excited about, analyzing and dismissing media before it has even been released it was nice to be taken by surprise by this little film. I hadn't heard of it and in fact wasn't really aware of it being at all video game themed and a quick Google seems to suggest it wasn't picked up by the monolith of websites calling themselves video game blogs. It's a touching tale 'based on real life events' that quite heavily features video games but not in a brainless sense a la Gamer or a massive advert a la Wizard but featuring a video game ( ArchLord , missed that on the wikipedia page didn't ya, wiki cunts ) as part of a normal life. Dare-we-say-it even in a positive light? For gamers out there I'd recommend giving it a watch. Not only is it the best video game related film out there at the moment

The unreliable eurogamer has an interesting piece just up about some guy who made the blogeadlines back in 2007 by ranting against the Wii at GDC. That's fine, each to their own but what Hecker does go on to say is the kind of idiotic rhetoric that gets our goat here at TGAM. From the linked article: "Game design and gameplay is not separable from CPU power," he told Eurogamer. "You can do more interesting games with a faster CPU. Nintendo made an underpowered platform, relative to what you could have made at the time. This in itself is theoretically uncontroversial but is moot in reality. Where are all these 'more interesting games?' on other platforms? We've said it time and time again but the reason why at least one of us isn't writing off the Wii as an acceptable console is because now, perhaps more than ever there is a real dearth of diversity of good games across all the current generation of games. Furthermore, the quality of graphics with Xbo

Three working days is up bitches so I'm posting my letter to Konami here. Then maybe we'll put it on twitter and start a facebook group and maybe make page 416 of the Guardian Guide this weekend until Konami reply to us. Dear Konami, We here at the blog That Guy's A Maniac have been debating buying the new Castlevania: Lords of Shadow Game. It has received excellent reviews all around and we are a fan of other Konami games. Silent Hill is excellent. Not so much Metal Gear Solid but each to their own. Anyway, despite being just over a month old it is already retailing for less than £20 in some places. LESS THAN £20! How is this sustainable? I'm a discerning gamer and the above game price is not even for a second hand copy but I bet the game cost a fair million to make and is already discounted to a half/third of the price. Perhaps a bit longer pride of place in the spotlight would be better for the game? I couldn't see a copy on the shelves of the largest GAME store

So editor of Gamespot UK, and owner of a name that still makes me giggle, has come out and stated that the 360 should be gadget of the 21st Century: As a gadget fan with an iPad, an Android phone and many of the other gadgets on this list, there's still only one thing I'd take to a desert island -- my Xbox 360 S. With a flat screen TV, an Internet connection and a copy of Halo: Reach, obviously. Surely the flat screen and "teh internets" is cheating? but yeah, ok 360 as Contender for Gadget of the 21st Century? It's a big claim! I mean we are only 10 years in (I assume this must be some sort of rolling competition?) anyways. I love the 360, i prefer it to the PS3 and the Wii. So yeah if a console is gonna get the Gadget of the 21st Century, I would vote for the 360. Honestly though, I don't see a console winning. The contenders consist of the usual Apple products, a selection of Phones (some as outdated as the Motorola Razr), some Cameras/Camco

Watching the goggle box yesterday was almost like watching the PS3/Xbox360 ads channel with the occasional television programme in between. PS3 are gunning for attention with an Assassin's Creed Brotherhood ad with music and very mild violence ("exclusive features for the PlayStation 3" presumably means you can play as a Sackboy). Meanwhile Kinect ads ran almost every single break. I don't know if it was deliberate or not but every single advert had a glitchy blip at the same place when the 360 logo came up at the end. Maybe they've changed their branding to be more in line with the Kinect experience. Anyone else notice that (for reference, during Vampire Diaries- yes now you can JUDGE ME ON MY TELEVISION WATCHING HABITS)?

Guitar hero is shallow. 6 versions later and not much has changed whatsoever. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Guitar hero 6 has brought in a slapdash "plot" element the "Quest" mode, akin to the story mode in previous versions. You pick a character, play a few songs from their setlist, get enough stars, unlock the encore song, and also unlock some new outfits/character designs. Later Rinse, Repeat, till Final boss. There is also a plethora of cheevos to pick up on the way. Quick mode offers challenges, more fun cheevos  and a rather nice addition, a full collection of all the songs from the other Guitar hero titles (and DLC) giving me 200+ Songs in one place. The Setlist is different this time round; It seems neversoft have decided to stay in the Rock Genre, which is a good Niche, let Rock band have the Family Fun appeal.. In Short, the game cost me £20 brand new, it does not add much to the series, just some nice aesthetic changes and some fun