How Many GamesDo You Have To Play To Form An Opinion About Games?

A common counter argument for those trying to interpret games, either with an agenda or without, is that they haven't played enough games to warrant their opinion being worth even contemplating. In a post which has just vanished from Kotaku (who knows it may or may not be here) Salman Rushdie has something to say but, you know what, he hasn't played as many games as us so let us just discount everything he says. But exactly how many games does one need to play so that the gamers will listen. Here's our handy guide for when you want to say something about games but may be worried you aren't qualified enough.

0 Games- Rogert Ebgert or whoever, resides here. You ain't got nothing. You got no stock. Anything you say will cause knee flinching reactions and anywhere up to six months worth of everyone chipping in, ironically, about how you have nothing to say on the matter.

1-10 Games Alright Johnny casual? We hate to tell you but Farmville, Snake, Angry Birds, Wii Sports and WoW don't count actually count as games. Go straight to the above category and do not collect £100. Unless of course the one game you've played has been every single CoD (it's the same game, one big long hand holding corridor shooter gallery). In which case, please fill miles of the internet with uninformed poo pooing of every game that isn't CoD. Thx.

11-100 Games You may have played Super Mario Brothers 3 and Deus Ex but you didn't play the Lost Levels or Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles or the fourth remake of whichever Final Fantasy we're supposed to like (hint- anything but 7 or the latest one). You are allowed to read what the better informed write and maybe comment but please don't write anything yourself. You're not qualified.

101-500 Games Okay 300 of those were probably back in the school days but you've put in some time, maybe had your fingers in a number of genres. Maybe you've even queued up to buy a game at midnight or even imported a game. I'm interested, do think about games and I might, MIGHT, accept your right to say something, then disagree.

501-INFINITY Games You have no compass outside of games. Nothing of what you have to say is of any use to anyone because you've never been outside. You'll be critical of everyone who hasn't played ever last piece of shitty DLC. You've lost your perspective son. Your cultural balance is out of kilter. Get a life. Get laid. Go on holiday. You're in too deep. Pull up... PULL UP....

So there we have it. We checked and we've played just under 200 games so there. Only 301 more to go before we need to be retired.


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