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Showing posts with the label Anal

Tomodachi Life

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Earlier this year, life-sim lite, Tomodachi Life came out for the Nintendo 3DS. Unfortunately 90% of the coverage from the red top gaming sites exclusively focused on Nintendo's controversial decision to exclude same-sex relationships in the game. In itself that decision rightly deserves highlighting but as ever, the proper journalism parodying gaming press reported nothing but this, resulting in a lot of coverage that failed to explain what a 'Tomodachi Life' was in the first place. I don't know if Nintendo were happier to receive any coverage at all or unhappier that it was all negative. Interesting, especially given how the press fall over themselves to create content every time a GTA or Saint's Row comes out, with only a handful of the more thoughtful hacks sparing a sentence or two for the inherent misogyny, sexism and racism that those games portray (hastily followed by hand waivey 'but it's alright cos it's GTA isn't it?'). Anyway, turns…

Not the normal whinge

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We whinge too much. One of the things we whinge about is how game retailers don't seem to be able to distinguish their mid arm ginglymus from their midrectum aperture when it comes to the business of selling games.

In the immortal words of Chief Brian Irons, whose hobby used to be taxidermy "BUT NO LONGER".


We're so happy we even busted out a de-motivational poster and a Resident Evil 2 quote just like it were 2005 all over again.

MCV talk to Robert Hennessy, John Lewis' new games buyer and he be talking a whole lotta sense. Including a Nintendo Shop at John Lewis' flagship store, just around the corner from the hit-and-miss flagship GAME store. In a word, FUCK YES and in more words ABOUT TIME.

The Video Game BAFTAs

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Yes! The Uk's third fourth favourite tolerated awards-ceremony-organiser people also do awards for video games. Badly.


Let's take a butchers shall we?

Initial impressions are, what are the criteria for being chosen? Like when is the cut-off point? How come Halo Wars and Flower is on there as well As Cod 2? Were they all released in a twelve month period of each other? Because where's Resident Evil 5 then? Who knows?

Also, as RPS's Alec Meer points out Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-o-rama. Actual most boring list of games ever. So vanilla. And also really? Best story Dragon Age: Origins really? Best strategy Halo Wars really? Why is left for Dead 2 all over that list? Why is Street Fighter IV the only Capcom game on there? In fact where are all the Wiiware, Indie and PC games? Even the Film BAFTAs have those boring foreign film awards. Where are all the good games? Since when was driving a sport? Oh and Dara O'Briain is the host. The TV guy who couldn't beat the Berserker in…

The Virtual Revolution: A Breakdown

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Over the weekend we watched the first episode of The Virtual Revolution. A series all about the history of the web innit. Presented by I'm-A-Doctor-Now-Former-Bits-Presentertator-Aleks Krotoski. Anyway here's the breakdown just in case you missed it:

10% Gratuitous shots of Dr Al's breasts and butt. Really gratutitous.
5% Aleks nodding/glowing/gushing in the presence of an old San Franciscan.
15%Dr Aleks walking around looking pensive.
15%Dr Aleks walking around looking pensive with her shades on.
30% 5 of the richest men in the world celebrating how the web is the great 'leveller' specifically their software.
5% Bitter hippies claiming it's all gone to shit now.
7% Aleks looking into the camera and flicking her hair out of her eyes.
5% Aleks typing away on her laptop WITH HER MAN HANDS in the street near a famous landmark.
3% HIPPIES!
10% Some pointless graphic which was being 'unveiled' for the first time ever.

Episode two is on at some point. Games might be in …

Sigh!

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Yes people an exclaimed SIGH! This is the cause of the now doubly exclaimed sigh!!.



We are literally sitting two clicks away from a whole section on wikipedia called List of Disney video games by genre Mickey Mouse Series.

Video Games Finally Harnessed for the Power of Good

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A new video game created by celebrity scientist Baroness Susan Greenfield is set to finally harness the power of video games to make children do 'good things' rather than 'bad things'.

Ever since 1996, children have been playing video games to kill zombies, pilot futuristic spacecraft and connect gems of the same colour in a line to make them disappear. "And what we've seen is that children go out into the real world and do these things" Greenfield explains. "Scientists reckon that video games are more powerful than influences from parents, peers and even television".

"So rather than control them to manage a house of people as in the Sims or identify Pokemon footprints as in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time, we've harnessed that power so that children will do better in life by playing this game".

The new game called The best you could probably do given your socio-economic background will launch ready for the Christmas period…

Peripheral Vision

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Is there any other title for a blog post or article even remotely (giggle) related to peripherals?



Back in the day, my gamer friends and I would fantasize about displaying our collection of video game stuff in the unlikely event that any of us could afford more than a rabbit hutch house in the future. Amongst an ever changing set up to the inevitable gaming room the wall of peripherals was something we were particularly keen on.

It would be a cross between a museum display case and a weapons cache that you see in spy movies showing off all the various peripherals that have been available over the years. Of course the recent industry in producing crap wiimote holders went and ruined the whole thing.

However, if it was ever to happen BIG GAME HUNTER 2010 would totally be a justifiable purchase.

Brute Update 23/04/2009

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Oh FFS another 3 losses today, probably the worst Brute out there!

New Pupil...
DAVEMELLIS

Lets get some comments on the go, we'd like to know who you guys are...
Until next time,

Richie X

My Brute. Challenge us, or you are gay...

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So in our random fumblings in the vast soiled panties that is the internet, we stumbled across "My Brute" where you create a little fighting character where random features and stats are created by the name you enter.

Anyways this is a shameless shout-out to all the readers/haters/random-perverts-looking-for-Sheeva-nude to follow the link below and help the thatguys brute level up, follow the link below to become our pupil, and well... beat us up.

http://thatguys.mybrute.com/

Luv n HugZ

Richie XXX

Series of games that need to stop

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With the recent """excitement""" around Megaman 9, thatguys would formally like to register a list of series that should just stop. In the alleged billion dollar game industry it is time to reallocate some of the money from employing people to 'make shit shiny' and 'copy what Halo did' to coming up with some new IP. That's right Nintendo, I'm looking at you!

Series that should have stopped a long time ago:

Megaman- Lets be fair, everyone since the first one has been the same. Come on Capcom.

Zelda- Ditto

Metroid- Yuh huh

Pokemon- Same

Halo- Lets just hope that three was the last remake of one.

Resident Evil- See above.

Tomb Raider- Should have left it after the first one.

C&C, Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo- All four of these games haven't changed in over twenty seven years.

Every Mario game- If you have a SNES that still works there has been pretty much no reason to buy a new Nintendo console.

Fallout- Seriously. WTF.

Earthb…

Once you go fat, you never look back!

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You can't. It is physically impossible.




Anyway TGAM are going to wade into the cluster fuck bandwagon about some game where the job is to rescue a fat princess. It's by Sony or some shit. Anyway the low down is here and here. It turns out that some parties are upset because it depicts a fat woman or something along those lines. That is such a lazy line to take especially when we are judging from press releases and screenshots. Here are some further (and frankly better) complaints to make so that everyone can jump on this bandwagon and rail against evil sony, catering the whinge to whatever floats ones boat.
1) Fat Princess is racist both the titular princess and the katamari dude are white. What? Asians can't be princesses? Blacks can't be fat? Racist filth etc. etc.

2) Fat Princess is ageist. The princess looks young. What? Old people can't be princesses? Babies can't be princesses?

3) Fat Princess is sexist. The princess looks like a woman. What? Men and tra…

Everyone has AIDS

Stupid gamers. Stupid stupid gamers. Nobody cares about anything you think is important so stop wasting the internet filling it up with trite and pseudo-intellectual bullshit like you are debating the future of the human race. Like masturbation, building cathedrals out of matchsticks, and knifing grannies, gaming is a hobby. Some people enjoy it, others don't. the difference being that most other hobbyists don't obsessaboutitto suchahorrifyingdegree There's a lot of "debate" at the moment around video games here they are all summed up and solved by yours truly hopefully freeing up the internet for some more hand drawn Tifa porn pictures.

Games need stories. By far the most popular whinge by game developers themselves. However, here is the lowdown;No they don't. Game makers want to be wanked off by the film and movie critics and the only way to do that is to make your game arty and cinematic and wanky. A film gets released and there are glamorous award ceremoni…

XBL: Total Rip-off

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Woah now, so last night saw the launch of some DLC (due for today, but we wont persecute MS's timekeeping). This DLC included the much anticipated additional Katamari content... with a hefty price tag. Each "new" zone to create a Katamari in was either 200 or 300 MS points, couple this with the new cousins and accessories. Each of the new zones is 384kb, for the non technologically savvy, there is no way that 384kb can be new content, it is simply a wee file that unlocks content that already exists on the disk. All in all this "new" content will set you back over 2000 MS Points (Nearly £20). Shocking.


Also on XBL last nigh the Muse Guitar Pack was up, costing 500 MS Points for a meaty 60mb download including 3 muse tracks. Much better.

Luv n' Hugs,

Richie X