Palaeo-Guitar

Well, Seeing that Cunzy aint here at the moment…

I though I’d give you a “Dinosaurs in Video Games” update.

Today’s game is Guitar hero 2. Yeah that’s right Guitar hero 2! I’m sure you are all asking yourselves, “Dinosaurs in guitar hero? How? Where ? As if!” Well they are and they are not… there are 2 separate references to Dinosaurs.

First up we have the two player select screen:

As you can see from the above picture it depicts:

- A Mammoth
- Sabre-toothed Tiger
- Some crazy extinct Ungulate. (antelope looking thing)
- An ancestor of the foxes
- An emu-esque big-bird
- Smaller mammals, cats etc.
- A Fighter jet dropping a bomb on them all.

When I first saw this I was admittedly shocked to see some obscure extinct animals just on a 2 player co-operative sceen. But then I realised that this may be a graphical representation of one of the songs, which brings me nicely onto the next instance of “Dinosaurs” in Guitar hero 2:

One of the bonus tracks: Fall of Pangaea, by Valient Thorr

Admittedly when I saw this track name in there I should have spewed a load into my underwear straight away. However my ejaculate was suppressed as Pangaea nowadays is rarely used properly, it is usually used in Sci-fi or Fantasy as the name of some country on a different planet/reality. For those of you who don’t know what Pangaea is, it is the name given to the “Supercontinent” millions of years ago when USA, Russia, Africa, Europe Australia etc were all joined together in one big happy land-mass. Anyways back to me attempting to fertilise my boxers… I never really listened to the song as, well, the song is rather “Metal” and the lyrics can sometimes be inaudible.

Check out the Lyrics:

before the dawning of mankind
other creatures roamed this land
they were from a far off time
and they brought with them a plan
from a dying portal in the sky it came, a grey transporter set the sky
ablaze in search of sanctuary to the earth they came all life before
this point had just been washed away asteroids and comets ripped right
through the atmosphere laid waste to all the dinosaurs its a cycle its
a cycle thats been going on since before this world began, even though
they cause destruction they’re vital they’re a vital part of reality,
the spores in side were alive, when the dust settled over the oceanbed
they watched it they watched the natural process of evolution in the
raw, lifeforms grew in the water and this is what they saw they saw
volcanoes, Earth was a wreck, the cooling of the lava produced a side
effect they saw amoeba combine with light, they saw the first thing
crawl on land and try to walk upright they saw the dolphin, they saw
the ape, the combination of the two would help the world take shape
(they bred them) on the beaches, it was called Pangea population spread
so fast it caused an imbalance, but that couldn’t stop em even then,
c’mon!
let’s get on the road, i got somethin to show, pull up yr roots, and
pack yr bags, let’s go!
let’s get on the road, i got somethin to show, pull up yr roots, and
pack yr bags- let’s go to the mountain and then you will see the place
where Pangea Ma-jor used to be the tectonic plates moved where workers
had mined the shift in the continents divided mankind Tidal waves broke
the goddamned thing in half, 7 pieces that wouldn’t last spread like
germs, thats the human virus form seeds were planted here on earth,
young mothers then gave birth they remembered the men from the sky,
named them gods and never questioned why?
climb up the mountain and see for yrself, the ice caps are melting away
from the shelf the earth is evolving, you must have forgot, the life on
this planet has only one shot.
Tidal waves broke the goddamned thing in half, 7 pieces that wouldn’t
last earths been silent many times, u seem to forget:
we are temporary
you are temporary
we’re all temporary

As you can see the lyrics do site some rather humorous palaeo-references. The whole song almost seems like an evolutionists “The end is nigh” sign… “The mass-extinction is coming”

Richie Signing out.

P.S. The song is really long, and fucking hard to play. Wnak.

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