That guy's a Maniac...

69 Thatguys Street Racoon City T6 4M1 Dear Team Ninja, Firstly I would like to thank you on your wondrous attention to detail, and on encapsulating everything that anyone could every want from bouncing CG boobs. However, it pains me to say that this is not a letter complementing your hold on the CG boob market, this is in fact a letter of apology. You may have recently received a letter from my colleague, a Mrs Lvl 70 Richie complaining that her phone was broken due to the rage caused by your game being too 'hard'. However, I implore you to ignore the demands set out in my colleague's previous letter because, well she plays WoW and she just isn't used to real time combat systems or skill based games. She spent hours playing DoA 4 Online desperately trying to "click" on opponents before endlessly being beaten. In fact, it was only recently that Richie learned that DoA had a game element to it at all. She would just sit watching the rolling demo screens at

69 Thatguys Street Racoon City T6 4M1 Dear Team Ninja, Firstly I would like to thank you on your wondrous attention to detail, and encapsulated everything that anyone could every want from bouncing CG boobs. However it pains me to say that this is not a letter complimenting your hold on the CG boob market, this is in fact a letter demanding compensation for damaging my phone. If it were not for your bouncy booby game (RE: Dead or alive 4) being to ridiculously hard for the entry level player, then my phone would not have met with a rather unfortunate event, involving a wall and it hurtling though the air. As such I would like to demand the repair bill for my phone refunded to me (£40), emotional damages (£1000), a nude patch for Ein, damn! I mean Bayman. No! I mean Tengu. NO! I mean Helena… Maybe. Along with this I demand that Cunzy and I feature as characters in the next DoA game, and we each have multiple endings involving us nobbing the DoA girls. Cunzys, can feature him, settling d

Fuck this shit, the game is flawed, you do a move the AI counters it, you try to counter and nothing fucking happens. The manual doesn't even go into detail on how the countering system works, even though it raves on about the countering system being all re-vamped and amazing. Lies. So I'm fighting some fucked up drunk dickface (dont know his name nor do i care to know it) and he just continuously counters it over and over. OH! great job team ninja, or should i say "team wank-fuck-cock-faecal-cunt". And I am on like the tenth time trying to kill him, well actually just trying to get a move in to prevent getting perfected, fuck you team ninja. I know at the start of games you are at zero on the learning curve, it is like tossing a coin, 50:50 chance of winning. Team banjo-string just seemed to ignore this. Yeah so 10th fight with Drunk fuck, and theres nothing i can do He starts som 9 chain combo, which leaves me being juggled, and with nothing to do, except l

Fuck off cats more like. Here is the definitive LOLCAT and I don't want to hear anymore about it. CLICK FOR THE TRUTH

In the small hours of last night I finally did it! I reached Level 70! After hours and hours of grinding , questing and farming I finally did it, My Mage hit Level 70! Whats this you say, you thought I had given up? Yeah I had, but after recent negotiations with the editorial staff it was agreed that to save thatguys.co.uk It was required that someone made a sacrifice. And bring back the classic days of Thatguys, much like in heroes when that artist guy has to take heroin to save the cheerleader. And since i am the most 1337 we needed a level 70 sharpish. So i went out and bought the burning crusade, spoke with a nice GM who re-activated "Richie" the fire mage. News that is six months too late: Well, I say "hours and hours" I started playing again as Richie not long after the recent announcement of Wrath of the Lich King. which led me into a flurry of WoW research and pranging desires to throw some fireballs. The Burning Crusade, is everything WoW should

It's true. I recently bought ONM (for the free gifts of course) and the free gift was crap. A keyring made out of hideous cheap-off-the-market-for-a-quid-"lego"-plastic so I decided to get my money's worth I'd actually try to read the magazine. It was hideous. The writing is by four year old never heard ofs who desperately try to sound like they don't have to give all the games above average marks. Anyway, this is besides the point. They had an article on the hot 100, trying to convince Nintendo fans that there was a reason they have a Wii other than to play Wii Play and Wii Sports or Wario Ware (Zelda can just fuck off). And what games was I interested in? Was it Pokemon Battle Revolution? Well a bit but everyone knows it's just an expensive husk of a game. Was it Mario Galaxy? No. I don't particularly like space as a setting for things and it just brings back memories of playing Super Mario 64 which is sometimes a good thing but sometimes bad too.

Alien Resurrection for the Playstation. Post-Post Analysis. Oh! I've made so many mistakes here. What I did, was explained too much in the title which, left me nothing to expand on in the 'meat' of the post. Also, the parameters I set myself were way too narrow. If I'd spent a bit more time thinking about it, this post could have even been some kind of list. If I'd gone even further, I could have made some comment about horror games in general and how sometimes the old ones are always the best. I didn't even put an image in. Oh this is all wrong. Sorry guys. Dropped the ball a bit here. I'd say 3/10 try harder ? Or maybe 3/10. See Me !