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Showing posts with the label Governmental-Corporate-Double-Penetration-Conspiracy

Over 200 Games Journalists Write an Open Letter To Gamers. Stop the Hate

#GamerGate continues to tear the gaming community apart. Brothers and sisters fight. But there's a shining light. Writing letters to end the hate, harassment and nastiness that haunts our hobby. Theoretical game developers and community managers wrote their letter and gamers have their petition but as a community, video game journalists have not yet spoken out as a group. Until next week that is. An anonymous source who wants to remain anonymous sent us this letter which will be going out next week. 
Dear Gamers (R.I.P) Please stop the hate. The only thing we have is the power of our opinion on games and gaming related things and if you don't like that then we don't get paid. Well a lot of us don't get properly paid in the first place. In fact being a games journalist sucks. We should really do something to improve our plight. Anyways. If games journalists stop writing are we not just gamers? Please stop the hate. Signed
7 of 9
Albert Brooks
Andre Romelle Young
AKB48

Tales of the Abyss

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Right, fine I'm caving.

After all this drama, outrage, scandal and out of court settlements. I'm just going to give you guys what you want. And that is apparently another half hardhearted incite into yet another 3DS game. Eat it up chumps.


Right so. Tales of the Abyss, a wonderful little gem, a PS2 cult-classic remake for the 3DS.  I jumped on this title as I was a huge fan of Tales of Vesperia on the 360. Its an expansive story driven RPG, and a fantastic port at that too! However! That is a double edged sword... Its a port it's really not meant to be a pick up and play title I was enjoying it on the commute until the story progressed to... Dungeon number 1, which left me with little to no save points. I mean that is fine for a PS2 title, sitting there 15 years ago in front of a TV, but the game pushes you to go through a dungeon. Which means you either just have to close the DS and hope that the batteries don't run out, or time how far you get into the dungeon and ho…

Yet another Lego Game...

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Back once again for the renegade master, D4 damager, power to the people.
Back once again for the renegade master, D4 damager, with the ill behavior.

More Lego games... YAWN... Break blocks,build blocks, play through it all again to get all the secrets. Its the same thing over and over, boring innit!

WRONG...

Its fucking great You get to break blocks, build blocks, and it's so good, you get to play it twice. AND ton top of all that its fucking Marvel, and so much fucking Marvel anyone and everyone from the Marvel universe is involved, you cant really hope for more...

...Well, maybe Pizza and a Blowjob.

Because we are lazy, we dropped a note out to our ravenous stalker-fans asking for what they think of the game. Here is a few of the things they said:

"Marvel Lego: Yay"
"Lego Marvel is quite the something though"
"I like it alot the grafics are rele good and the lego men are kool"

Love and Fatboy Slim btw,

Richie X

That Resident Evil 6 trailer

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Oh my god you guys, watch this:
 THIS IS DISGUSTING. Capcom should be ashamed of themselves. Did they not learn from Resident Evil 5? This trailer is so racist. 
 1) First of all this game is telling four year olds (everyone knows that four year olds play these games) that it is okay to shoot white men who are world leaders. Could've made the president black or a woman or a black woman. But no. A white guy. Disgusting. Don't they know that this kind of imagery (people shooting white presidents) is charged with history? 
 2) It is racist against white presidents who wear glasses. Ut oh, I'd watch out if I were you Giorgio Napolitano cos come 2012 there's gonna be a whole bunch of racist four year olds trying to shoot you up in the face/eyes. 
 3)All the zombies are white ironically, including a jumping zombie. Don't they know that this kind of imagery (white people shooting jumping white people) is charged with history? Capcom just assumes all gamers are asshats w…

Meta

I hate using the word meta. There used to be a time when we didn't use it. Those were good times! Anyway here at TGAM we try our damdest to bring you the latest news about videogames. By 'latest news' I mean stuff we thought up/dreamt up and by 'videogames' I mean Resident Evil and occasionally Pokemon and by 'our damdest' I mean infrequently and with fluctuating quality.

However, none of you probably remember this post here called Destroy the Techno Union Chips. This was TGAM journalism of the highest quality and we received attention from outside of the three- people-we- already-know readership. That was when we first received virtual affections from the one, the only, Miss Bea Havin from 1990's playstation pro magazine. She even created a new category for us called 'rampaging stupidity'. Sweet.

Anyway just over a year on and this post continues to be the most popular post on the whole blog with as many as 14! Yes One-Four comments. It turns out…

Omastar Comics #3

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One more before bedtime. Today Omastar discusses (angrily) the english on holiday in Spain


Next week on TGAM:
We do a really boring review of an old game to make ourselves sound better in the oh-so-intellectual field of writing about videogames.

Richie, the supposed co-author of the world's second greatest videogames blog in the world, That guy's a maniac thinks about doing a post. CO-AUTHOR UNCONVINCED

Nintendo make an original Wii game, exclusive right here. Apparently it is controllable.

We explore the 'PS3 online' rumour sweeping the internet. Click here for a sneak preview of the result

Counter Strike Priapism Syndrome: We get all the details on this disturbing medical condition affecting America's youth.

Until then, take care and I'll expect to see you 'all*' next week.

*Well I'm guaranteed to be here so Richie, I'm expecting to see you here is what I'm saying

That Guy's A Hypocrite

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Yeah. Yeah we're hypocrites. Not so long ago we used to call the Xbox 360 the Gaybox 360 (back in our homophobic days but, like all my friends are gay so whatever) and we used to call the Wii the StupidNintendoNoReleasesInEurope-Machine. We still call the Wii the StupidNintendoNoReleasesInEurope-Machine but that's besides the point. Now we are widely perceived by the mass readership as Sony-haters. Well, Mr. I don't particularly like or hate Sony in the same way that I don't love or hate Rowntrees, Oxo or YKK (the zip brand. I fucking hate YKK as a first name and I hate people who call zips, zippers).

Anyway,here we cum buckets for Sony and this is why:

1) Timesplitters and Timesplitters 2. (Yeah but the GameCube..NOPE)
2) GTA (Yeah but the Xbox...FUCK OFF)

Here is TEN reasons why you should buy a PS3, right now:
1) Because you are a bender (robot not rear gunner).
2) To go down in history as the 5th person to buy a PS3 in the world.
3) To prop up your TV.
4) To tie to someone…

The Big UK Con!

And not "Con" as in Convention, "Con" as in the UK is being fucked over.

I'm Privy to a little information, and it is information that i feel should be more common knowledge. Have you ever wondered why consoles cost so much more over here? Well, its all to do with Tax. The consoles get taxed much more here than in places like Japan and the US. Why is this? Well its all to do with how consoles are classified, to this day consoles are classified as VCRs, and the reason VCR's are taxed so heavily is because of their ability to record television. In this day and age this is archaic, hell even at the time it was stupid! As if your fucking NES could record TV. Stupid, Just Stupid. And you know that the government won't change this, nor will they make it common knowledge because they are getting our money! Think about that when you go out to buy your PS3, don't think that it's just Sony Shafting you Mr Blair is too. That's right a Governmental-Corp…