Friday, June 26, 2009

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dead Fantasy IV, V and VI

This is not dead fantasyWe're fans here of the one man project which despite being an overwhelmingly fan pleasing endeavour and entirely violence oriented manages to put most modern games and the whole of Hollywood to shame including blockbuster movies featuring transforming robots with million dollar budgets and fight scenes which are made by putting a kettle, two forks and a sieve into a washing machine, setting it on spin and filming it.

This one guy, with less time, staff, money, technology and cocaine does better. By a million. I would happily pay full price for Dead Fantasy I-V on DVD than Resident Evil Shitgeneration, those awful other Resident Evil Films and Advent Children put together.

And who needs a storyline? Buy a fucking book if you want stories. Pricks.

Anyway Dead Fantasy IV, V and VI are kinda up on the net. But we're not going to post a link here until Monty Oum himself uploads the full versions any day now....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Black Wii (racist)

Aw isn't that cute... They made it look like a real console, adorable.

Yeah it's some bundle with Monster Hunter Tri (3) so dont expect the EU to get it, ever.

Luv and shiny wired controllers,

Richie XXX

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

We aren't fans of recycling shit from the internet but sometimes it's worth it.

By *sigh* RoflCopter 761 via Halolz

Monday, June 15, 2009

Heavy Rain

Hot on the heels of E3, there are a couple of Heavy Rain trailers up on the PS3 network. I've seen em both.

One of them is your typical trailer packed with mysterious sound bites, action sequences and a quite impressive looking dance floor. The other is a demonstration of how the game will play.

Now, we were fans of Fahrenheit for the first hour until Monster Syndrome kicked in. Then we weren't fans. Then we were fans for the dead man sexing bit. Then we weren't fans again.

Heavy Rain does look good but the demonstration showing a rather plaid looking woman going into the bogs to sex herself up a bit did leave us feeling. Well. A bit cold.
The idea of the demo is that she has to sex herself up a bit to, I dunno, sex a dead man or something. So she enters the toilets and then looks into the mirror. At this point a bunch of arrows pop up around her hair, face, tits and cooch and the player has to help her get slutified through a bunch of analog stick movements. So selecting the bag makes her get out her lipstick. A SF fireball on the stick makes her apply it to her bottom lip. An inverse fireball on her top lip. Then with some mascara. Then more prompts to make her unbutton her top, rip her skirt a bit and mess her hair up a bit.
Sure, it looks like a good idea but is it really neccessary? If you are too heavy handed will she smear the lipstick all over her face? Or just tear her whole skirt off? How is following all these prompts any better than say, 'pressing X to sexify'? It's forced interactivity for it's own sake rather than being better gameplay or adding anything to the experience? Which kinda summed up most of E3 actually...

Friday, June 12, 2009

Omastar Comics #22

Hidden beneath literally millimetres of wit, satire and irony, the joke in this latest installment of the paint created, pixellated, irregularly posted, fully clickable, popular webcomic Omastar Comics will be missed by all but the sharpest of readers.
This week Omastar is minding his own fucking business thank you very much.
THe Sheva Nude cheat you are looking for is not in this post I am afraid


In other gaming news:

We turned 3 years old a while back. The party was awesome thanks for all those who came along.
Guitar Hero 5! looks like Guitar Hero.
Dread Kong in the upcoming New Play Control! Donkey Kong Jungle Beat has been officially confirmed as racist. Expect N'Gai Kroal to be on the case ASAP.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

We need an ability to project the Penis in to other rooms!

So yeah Project: Natal? We all know and realise it is a glorified Wiimote (but better). But it must have some use in that moral grey area dividing sex and games, here are a couple of suggestions.

1. Interactive Web chat.
Webcams all over the world are currently being used to allow wannabe pornstars work from home, and using the conduit of the internet project themseves naked into the bedrooms of curious teenagers who stole their parents credit card. So why not apply this to Natal, allowing gamer chicks to make some cash to fund their habbit. Hell I can see in the near future a website of gamer chicks avatars showing who is online and you just buy their gamertag. So where does Natal play into this? Well from those of you that saw the Natal preview you'll have seen that there were two burds discussing what outfit to wear and projecting it on them. Cue the frenchmaid, dominatrix and Jill Valentine outfits... But how will this funtion from the fappers point of view? Well ideally you need a game, something that will count your strokes per minute, maximum speed, hand switches, timing, and distance.

2. Multiplayer Ratings.
This does not need to be entirely limited to sad lonely people sitting in front of their 360 sitting next to their collector edition boxsets, painstakingly arranged to look like a "girl". Hell no! Since Natal can identify multiple persons, what's wrong with a 2 (or more) player game which can "script" the activities, changing positions, state tempo... oh man! the possibilities are endless...

Oh and the achievements!

You got her right between the eyes!

The more the merrier.

You got the Natal Cam involved.

The 'achievement blip' got you there.


Never mind online competitive multiplayer, leaderboards and perhaps you can unlock some interesting new outfits for your Avatars?

Remember you heard it here first...

Thatguys Baby!!!

Anal massages,

Richie

More on the Rotombrator

Bulbabpedia have now updated their site with the new Rotom Formes.

So how long till the crazy Japanese actually create one of these...

Luv n Hugz

Richie XX

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Wolverine Origins Nude Cheat

Yeah so the new game is pretty fucking cool.

Essentially it is a 3rd person Hack n’ Slash, however there is a multitude of things that set this one aside from the regular crowd of movie tie-in trash games:

1. It is not a move tie-in. Yes it may have a few things in common with the movie, such as the likeness of many of the characters, but the plot seems to be its own entity. (This was because the game was in development before the movie was in production, good call from the guys at Raven)
2. The fighting is a new level of fun. We have all got a hack and slash game that we all love in our hearts, whether it is Devil May Cry or Kingdom hearts. Thankfully this game differs from the usual repetitive Hack and Slash action of other movie tie-ins or trash games, there is a great mix of skill and luck. Basically the action is not repetitive, the combos and the timing of the button pushes are really intuitive, allowing for different types of gameplay, e.g you can choose to counter or just straight up button mash.
3. Lunge. Lunge is a fucking cool game mechanic! Basically allowing you to leap at an opponent from far away and start combo-ing. Yes I know you have probably played with similar mechanics in a multitude of games but this one is better, it’s hard to explain it’s a sort of “you had to be there” mechanic.
4. Fan service. Plenty of homage’s to X-Men and Wolverine, from an elevator-music remix of the X-men theme tune to classic yellow spandex Wolverine outfits.
5. Levelling up. You can’t go wrong with some XP to level up your dudes, and they do just that in this game, there are plenty of modifiers and skill ups to make going to the character menu actually fun.
6. So much blood. You slash and kill hoards of enemies, there are achievements for dismembering, and at one point Wolverine actually breaks someone in half!


And much more, the game is quite plot driven, it spans two time lines, and during the course of these levels there are well placed laptops which give insights to the plot while you are working out where to go next. Generally each puzzle or boss fight is punctuated with a cut-scene, they are all well acted and generally good. It also play’s very much like Ravensofts other Geekout game, Marvel Ultimate Alliance. The game also lasts a long time, it’s a good 12-20 hours of gameplay plus you have the hard mode after it unlocked.

So what’s bad about it? Well the enemies are a bit samey, a couple of them are just re-skins. When playing it I have encountered some bugs (a classic fall through the world one and one where I was stuck in a wall) but thankfully there is a “restart from last checkpoint” option in the menu.

Other than that, spot on, great gameplay, great fun A worthy movie tie-in game, that actually is not a tie-in

On the Moh’s hardness scale it’s a Solid Corundum (not sure where Adamantium fits on this scale)

Luv n Hugs,

Richie.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

That Natal Video

Creepy 360
So, Milo, where's you Mommy Milo?

She's dead Milo. Died of the bad AIDS.

You gonna cry? Oh you can't because you haven't been scripted to.

Here's a picture of a wang Milo. Do you like it? Here's a picture of a swastika Milo. Do you like that?

We're going to play a game now Milo. But you can't tell anyone about it....

Achievement Unlocked: Do a "Peter Molyneux".