After years of attention seeking it finally happened. It's the fourth biggest day of our lives. We got a link on Kotaku after we sent a link to this post after Brian C (Big C we call him) didn't take to kindly to our latest tip. Tip 25 reposted here for your eyes only:
25. Rumours abound tips too
Handwashing and gargling? Seriously. Are you even trying over there? Here is a good tip for you though which might cause your stomach to erupt if handwashing floats your boat!
In the game 100 Classic Books for the Nintendo DS, the summer evening BGM makes a fine accompanyment to a quick read of the Hunchback of Notre Dame because, wait for it, it has bells tolling in the background. Share this tip carefully boyos.
He replied with "Hey how’d that happen? You’ve landed on my spam filter."
Then I shared the link to the post and it turns out he was a lie head because he then went on to share the link with the whole of Kotaku.
What happened next?
Then overnight we recieved an influx of Kotakuites (3662 to be exact) which brings our total visitor figures to TGAM up to 2461. Some of them were kind enough to leave comments here, which I wil now take time to respond to a la Soloman or Smith. Names have been changed because most of them pussies went anonymous.
Thumb it in said "Uh on the 24th tip, how bout not reading the day and night notes?Would help in the not being annoyed by them, wouldn't you say?"
Well Thumb it's not a problem since day note and night note seem to have mysteriously dissappeared following our glorious link.
Matthew wrote us an essay "SO WE WERE ALL IN JAPAN THE OTHER DAY AND WE WENT TO A JAPANESE PLACE AND AtE SOME JAPANESE FOOD AND IN JAPAN FOOD IS DIFFERENT THAN IN AMERICA AND IN JAPAN THEY HAVE DIFFERENT TRADITIONS AND STUFF. buy my book".Wow that is great. It does seem that all I ever hear on Kotaku is about Japan if it comes out of that guy.I'll have to return to finish reading this when I have more time, but it's great so far.
OK, it took me a little time to go through it all, but I have confirmed you are insane. Just give up, is one tip. The only tip I ever got posted was one about the Call of Duty 4 beta release. I've sent in cool stuff before of varying subjects (All related to gaming), but now that I understand how many emails they get, I can give them a little slack.I do like what you said here:. Yesterday must have been cold without a hot tip so here's one that's been scorching a hole in my faceDon't bother with Second Life.I think the best tip you ever got is from Kotaku themselves (The link that is), so you're probably peeing yourself right now, congrats.
Thanks Matt although we gave up peeing ourselves when the cold weather settled in that nice warm feeling just doesn't stay warm long enough. Although, if we see a fire engine, who knows?
Leadbythenose said "What a waste of time, I wish kotaku hadn't linked me here." It's nice to see such frank honesty these days and glad to see that at least Lead got the joke unlike:
>9000 who helpfully pointed out that "Your tips are lame. seriously they are weak tips are supposed to be for information about new games not game guide help. and duh ashcraft lives in Japan I think he is going to be slightly japanese...." We feel so embarassed the whole time we thought we were being helpful! Thank god women like +900 are here to point these things out.
Hotnblack said: "Its easy to hate kotaku, I mean I know I do at times...but their coverage is too good to overlook. Every other game site/blog out there is just copy and pasting off their feed." Which is pretty much what we said in the post he had just commented on when we went:
"Kotaku is a gaming news site, probably the best one actually at least in terms of volume and frequency, not neccessarily consistency....... From here the escapist and then EDGE copy and paste all their news." But it might have been worth reiterating I guess.
Nothingbuthenews found a third use for his arsehole and said: "I totally agree, I wish I hadn't followed this link. This is what you do with your time and call news? Ugh." HE JUST CAN'T STAND THINGS WHICH PEOPLE SPEND THEIR TIME ON THAT ISN'T NEWS. Which is most things.
Slowbutsteady doesn't know his sister started her period. All he knows is that his Dad's dick taste funny once a month: "I, for one, very much like the Day and Night Notes." Then it's a shame they've gone now then [replaced by just Note but whatever].
RegIII resisted the debilitating FIV long enough to choose a poor turn of phrase to suggest he has tried email stalking men and masturbating, preffering the latter: "Seriously? This is how you waste your time? Here is a scorching hot tip for you...... jack off.... far better than email stalking guys."
Nicoffiend goes: "Congrats on wasting two years of your life attempting to get a rise out of someone you don't know and who couldn't give a rats ass about you." Dude. We took breaks.
What happened next
Thanks to our traffic tracking software we were able to follow the kotakuites. Well over 1000 of them then 'found' the CG Boobies tag. They then spent an average 30 seconds looking at the posts. The little quiz box on the right went up 5 votes for put my bum in his willy and 4 votes for put my willy in his bum. Sadly, RegIII died of the FIV. The world is a slightly better place. Then they all went back to Kotaku for some good old fashined naivity and some circle jerking. It'll take some time for the chip smell to go away though.
I never did say which email broke the will of the Big C. In fact for a guy who didn't notice he said this after the Second Life tip: "Does the hole, perchance, lead to your brain?".