That guy's a Maniac...

With the recent """excitement""" around Megaman 9, thatguys would formally like to register a list of series that should just stop. In the alleged billion dollar game industry it is time to reallocate some of the money from employing people to 'make shit shiny' and 'copy what Halo did' to coming up with some new IP. That's right Nintendo, I'm looking at you! Series that should have stopped a long time ago: Megaman- Lets be fair, everyone since the first one has been the same. Come on Capcom. Zelda- Ditto Metroid- Yuh huh Pokemon- Same Halo- Lets just hope that three was the last remake of one. Resident Evil- See above. Tomb Raider- Should have left it after the first one. C&C, Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo- All four of these games haven't changed in over twenty seven years. Every Mario game- If you have a SNES that still works there has been pretty much no reason to buy a new Nintendo console. Fallout

Apologies for the brash and somewhat gratuitous Post title. But we at Thatguys are very aware that our traffic has been increasing, as much as we would like to think there are actual people out there that think, "man these guys are informative ironic and funny". Deep down part of us knows that through pure persistence, much like a kid constantly screaming for attention from their mother, people are just coming back to us. WTF people who are you? what do you do? do you like us? do you hate us? did you vote for bum in willy or willy in bum? We wanna know... Tell us what you think... Take 2 seconds from your day, get off your high horse and leave a comment.. Love and hugs, Richie X.

In case you missed the TV-adverts, radio spots, advertorials, news features, interviews with Will Wright, selling out sponsorship on every gaming blog, magazine adverts and zeitgeist "Sporn" articles then you read it here first, Spore is out. We have had an exclusive hands off playthrough with both the DS version and the lesser known PC version. You won't find another hands off exclusive like this anywhere else! Spore Creatures for Nintendo DS. Many companies release fully fledged games for the proper consoles then release some half-arsed watered down version on the DS. All the publicity and the marketing for the proper versions means that many people buy the DS version on good faith only to find that it is a steaming pile of GBA shite. Spore Creatures for the DS is one of these games. Imagine, if you will, a watered down version of pokemon put through the Fossil League Dinosaur Tournament Championship filter and then whisked together lightly for twenty minutes wit

Due to our important role as a barometer for games due for general release we get sent shit loads of stuff in the post. Games, consoles, merchandise, costumes and magazines. As a consequence we get sent a copy of EDGE magazine. It's not that we would buy it anyway but when you are on the crapper you need something to read that isn't Games TM. Not so long ago you may remember that popular digital culture magazine Electronic Dreams Games Enema (EDGE)published a rather piss poor article about Menu screens. At the time we came up with a list of other piss poor articles that lazy writers could put together but in a valiant show of defiance they went one better and this month's EDGE carries an extremely "interesting" article about booklets with games. The little books you get with games. Honestly of all the topics ripe for an article about gaming. On top of that the editors seem to think it is a good idea to fill ever increasing chunks of the magazines with develop

Did you set up a website to discuss the hot topics in your lifestyle/hobby area of interactive gaming? Were you underwhelmed when nobody cared about what you had to say because the coverage on Kotaku was more even handed and up to date? If the answer to any of those questions is yes then fear not. You are a sad fanboy but by following our hot guide you'll have that template blog up and running again before you google your site url to see if anyone linked to you this week. Step 1: Even if your site is really shit, get sponsored ads almost before you have any other content. This makes your content-lite website look professional and if you get any hits in the future you might generate an income! To add a further professional air get that advertising that highlights words throughout the blog. There's nothing less frustrating than boxes of text popping up every time the cursor accidentally floats over words like "here" or "price drop". Step 2: After taking

Watch the below trailer and join me in disgust! Yes readers, Lara Croft, shooting tigers in the face! Right in the face. We here at TGAM would like to call for an official ban of this game in all territories and furthermore this is call to arms to all the bloggers who usually complain about games being racist and sizeist and all that shit that doesn't really matter. This DOES matter assholes. As you all know, all tiger subspecies are Appendix I listed on CITES and listed as critically endangered and endangered on the IUCN red list. Yet here we have the positive role-model Lady Croft shooting a number of them in the face, in slow motion no less. We and presumably every other gamer, does not want to promote the shooting of any endangered creatures in the face there are already plenty of other things to shoot in the face without sending out a message that flies in the face of environmental conservation ; Nazis, the Japanese, Aliens, Daemons, Spanish Zombies and African Zo

Hot on the heels of number 43 we have a new entry on the best list of best games of all times ever. The votes are in and have been counted and you have voted Tanks! from Wii Play as your 43rd bestest game of all time ever. We are a big fan of Tanks! here which is why Tanks! has been voted as the 42nd greatest game of all time ever. Tanks! what a game. Yes. Tanks!. Did you know reader that Tanks8 from Wii Play is the first Wii game on this prestigious list? Well it is. Check it: 43: Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze 44: Resident Evil "gay den" 45: Final Fantasy VIII 46: Resident Evil Genesis 47: Dino Crisis 3 48: Dead Rising 49: Resident Evil Confidential Report File 1 50: Biohazard 4D Executer Coming next time: NUMBER 41

Oh I see... That Gaming Site Yet another TGAM RIP-off... Should we be flattered?

OMG!!! Rumours of a Resident evil 2 Remake!!! FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP As the top rated Resident Evil Blogsite out there, we found this all out by ourselves, it's not like we read it somewhere else Laters, Richie

Yeah ok, So their list is: Unown - Cuz it is Gimmicky Beautifly - Cuz its a copy of Butterfree Luvdisc - Cuz it looks silly and has rubbish stats Probopass - Cuz it looks really stupid. Mr Mime - Cuz yeah he is the shittiest pokemon ever. Now if we were angsty, under-sexed bloggers , we would dispute this claim saying things like, "Luvdisc can be EV trained to be IMBA". But that is not us, we are better than that. In fact, despite this coming from 1up we whole-heartedly agree! So we are going to gracefully tip our caps to 1up, and expand on the list a wee bit. Top 5 Shit pokemon that are shit, but not quite as shit as the top 5 lamest pokemon that 1up posted: 5. CastForm: Shitty weather dependent Pokemon that changes it form based on whatever weather effect is in play, meaning you waste your moveset on weather changing moves. And of course by the time you have actually changed the weather you are dead anyway. 4. Ditto: Pfft, everyone has at least a

So yeah, it has been a while since I did a bit of blogeriferousness… What have I been up to? Well mainly I have been achievement whoring on Soul Calibur IV which is going well apart from the Tower being a bitch to get through. But in a strange twist of events I went back to Guitar hero 2 and 3 on the Xbox 360, after pretty much getting sick of Rockband. I have done the “Endless setlist” twice now, once on hard and then a second time on expert, though I totally nabbed out on the second time, as the guys I was playing with were on a lower difficulty, and I had got it in my head that I would still get the expert achievement… I have flirted with singin, but I really can’t sing, I failed “Tom Sawyer” on EASY! Though my Glados interpretation was apparently spot on! Drums bug the shit out of me, I’m not willing to put in the hours of practice needed to get my leg working independently of my arms. And bass just makes be really jealous of whoever is playing the guitar part. Then couple that w

What a prick

Yes children! This weekend I actually played some games. Shock and awe is what you are no doubt feeling now. Not satisfied with persistently sitting on the sidelines poo pooing any game that someone else might be interested I decided to see if I still had it and played me some games*. First up I played Turok for the Xbox 360. Totally bog standard shooter that borrows more than quite a lot from Gears of War from the token black guy who carries big guns to running around for six levels for the sake of some comms device. However, it had dinosaurs in it which means an instant 10/10. I totally busted it too! It took me a shocking 15 hours-ish but I enjoyed it nonetheless. All that crap about decent AI was still total bullshit too but it did have some nice boss battles. It is sad that the cheevos were so poorly thought through with the majority linked to multiplayer crap . Then I busted up Dinotopia The Sunstone Odyysey. It took about 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. The game started

In no particular order: Electronic Arts. People who didn't get the memo about free running "the fad" being over. 15-17 year old skateboarders. EDGE magazine until it's rated [6] even after such a glowing preview article. PS3 owners who don't yet realise it is multiplatform. Review Based on Wikipedia Page It had so much potential but despite promises is very linear and frustrating. The camera isn't quite FPS perspective which leads to some odd moments where arms are inexplicably long. Animations of legs and looking at the floor the whole time grates. 6/10

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Wanted: 'Ideas' person for EDGE magazine. Job Description: To think of game-related shit for writers to fill three to fourty pages with. Menu Screens. Menu screens. The latest issue of EDGE includes an article about menu screens. You know, the bit in games before the main game. Not only is the appreciation of menu screens long overdue but it is plagiarised from us, with our prestiguous best menu screen award of DEC 2007 and our love of alternative menu screens hinted at here in August 2006 . Furthermore, it's boring. It's okay for the losers of the world's 715,214 most popular-as ranked by Technorati- blog to write about it. However, unlike TGAM I don't have to waste my life and £4.50 to access it. Just my life and a bit more of my life to write it. In order to help EDGE magazine staff out so that I, and maybe you, don't waste further pennies and minutes here are some more ideas (some of which may have already been used, I didn't check) to fill the mag

That's not what we're going to do here children. No sir. You see, the group: "gamers" can be divided up into neat little slices and everyone within a particular slice demonstrates exactly the same behaviours and acts in a similar way. Schools in America and "the man" will have you believe that we are all different. We're not. Most of us can be neatly pigeonholed and our every behaviour predicted from a mile away. "Diablo players" is the name of one such pigeonhole-slice as is "gays" and "the sikhs"*. So for example, if I said "All the people who like Diablo I, II or III are keeping gaming from becoming a progressive medium in the modern world", I would be: a) Correct and b) A total wanker. All the people who like Diablo I, II or III are keeping gaming from becoming a progressive medium in the modern world. It is true. Don't believe me? Check this utter piece of shite over at MTV Multiplayer. I read it and thou

You can't. It is physically impossible. Anyway TGAM are going to wade into the cluster fuck bandwagon about some game where the job is to rescue a fat princess. It's by Sony or some shit. Anyway the low down is here and here . It turns out that some parties are upset because it depicts a fat woman or something along those lines. That is such a lazy line to take especially when we are judging from press releases and screenshots. Here are some further (and frankly better) complaints to make so that everyone can jump on this bandwagon and rail against evil sony, catering the whinge to whatever floats ones boat. 1) Fat Princess is racist both the titular princess and the katamari dude are white. What? Asians can't be princesses? Blacks can't be fat? Racist filth etc. etc. 2) Fat Princess is ageist. The princess looks young. What? Old people can't be princesses? Babies can't be princesses? 3) Fat Princess is sexist. The princess looks like a woman. What?

It really is. That's the reality folks. You start off writing the blog for your three friends the next thing you know you are googling yourself for hits. THE NEXT STAGE: Writing our own wikipedia page.

Lol, Just LOL xxx

WEWT! In Soul Calibur you can customize your character right down to the underwear ! Though I do wonder for my sexuality, I saw this picture and the first thing i thought was, "Ooooh those icons kinna look like WoW icons." Fig. 1. Power - Some sword from the Warrior talent tree. Fig. 2. Impact - Some shieldy talent. Fig. 3. Boost - Sheath of Light, Paladin talent Fig. 4. Gauge - Spirally green thing Fig. 5. Special - Primal Mana innit Namco... We're watching you. Richie X

Um, Yeah so there is hunners and hunners of new fap-worthy information n the up-and-coming WoW expansion Wrath of the Lich King. One such fap-worthy bit of information is the addition of "Achievements". Yeah that's right I put "Achievements" in inverted commas. Why you ask? Well because, when this was first rumoured the first thing I thought was, "Oh they are making WotLK part of the Games for Windows range." But apparently not, they have decided to make their own in-game achievements, rather than getting gamerscore, you get vanity pets, tabards, and generally other bragging rights. Makes sense though, WoW is bigger than like 10 360 games, with far too many things to unlock 1000 GPs would not be enough... But still I WANTED A GAMERSCORE BOOST :/ QQ Moar? Luv n Hugs, Richie X

Brain Aged and weighed, village weeded, plants watered, fossil collected, furniture bought, pal-parked, nintendogs fed, watered and walked, berries picked, trees watered, lottery entered, vocabulary expanded, ribbon obtained, berries given, letters written, battlegrounds grounded?, shadowcloth created, dungeon cleared, food cooked, fish caught, BMI checked and mystery gifts collected. What dailies* have you done today? *First one to say wank earns the arcade award Most Useless.

Bored of Summer shitty games? Want something more than news about more crappy rock updates for Rock Band/Guitar Hero? E3 is here to deliver. Every year E3 has a theme. This year the theme is "innovation" and the line up of games on show really underpins that. New Resident Evil 5 trailer!- Like Resident Evil 4 but shinier with vehicle sections. Final Fantasy XIII - Like Final Fantasy X but shinier with more androgenous characters/airships and the same summons etc. from every other game. Vehicle sections yet to be confirmed. Gear of War 2 - Like Gears of War but with vehicles. Dante confirmed for Soul Calibre IV!- Like Soul Calibur III but with Dante. Metal Gear Flaccid 4 special edition - With extra cutscenes and the option to turn "jam" on/off because it's wacky you see! It's random and wacky! Kojiiiima is a random whacko! Woo! Woo! I am a train. Rockband 2 Band Manager peripheral - Introduce yet another key aspect of being in a real band! Mo

Welcome ladies and gentlemen for yet another inappropriate combination of sexual release and Nintendo. Look someone has made some attachments for the Wiimote that increase stimulation... TBH Annalee over at io9 says, "Everybody wants to figure out how to put their thinger in somebody else's thinger via bluetooth or TCP/IP or port 1337. " , and this attachment has to be the least inventive Thinger2Thinger yet. Like no-one else thought of it! 2 anal-tickles out of 10 poor effort, see me after class. Luv n Hugs, Richie X

To all those people who have just woken up from an 8, 20, 32 or 44 month coma. Here's Jill Valentine wishing you merry christmas! Thanks the internet! Thanks Jill! Next on TGAM! Happy VJ day and welcome to the 21st Century for those who have had comas for a very long time.

Aaaaron Greenberg is some guy . He was saying some thing about games earlier. But he does have a massive SLAP. Just look at it. It goes on and on. Aaaaaaron Greenberg you have a fine SLAP sir. A fine SLAP. Do you get security guards to patrol it? Do you? Do you sell parts of it for advertising or mineral prospecting? Is your slap self sustaining? It could be. That is some prime farming land you have above your eyes there sir. Yes it is. So there we have it. Greenberg-Slap.

Finally!

So, I finally did the "Endless Setlist" 58 songs, around 5 hours straight playing it... Sickening. Next up... Rock band 2. It has been announced , unannounced , and maybe-rumoured for an acceptable release date in europe (uk) this time. Bet it doesn't, I bet the Americans get it in September, and then we get it 6-9 months later. I mean seriously what the hell is that! The first Rock Band was almost forgiveable, given their excuse was hardware (fake drums, fake guitars) shortages. But this time round no excuses... Harmonix/EA, you are racist, hands down racist. *sulk* Luv n Hugs, Richie

Yes. This is still going on. Today at number 43 it's Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze . That shit was made in thirteen day y'all. Play it now. It's still the number one Net Yaroze game according to us in this list. Here's our low down on it almost two years ago! We don't change very much do we. The already bored of but will see the end of Top 50 list as voted by TGAM readers on our fora so far: 44: Resident Evil "gay den" 45: Final Fantasy VIII 46: Resident Evil Genesis 47: Dino Crisis 3 48: Dead Rising 49: Resident Evil Confidential Report File 1 50: Biohazard 4D Executer

It is not full on boob, It's not cleavage, It's... UNDERBOOB Coming to a System near you soon!

So yeah, I have been officially playing WoW casually * for a while now, my most recent project has been levelling a Paladin (currently lvl 63) which I have really been enjoying in some slightly risqué ways, I have not been RPing her per say. However she does have the Tabard of the Scarlet Crusade , the whole Scarlet Chains Set , and I made sure I did all the Scarlet related quest lines in Eastern Plaguelands and Stratholme . Enough that I think we can all just agree I am a little bit gay for the Scarlet Crusade. Who are the Scarlet Crusade? I ain't gonna go into it, there are plenty of other websites that can go into the details, they are essentially a bunch of Zealots who beleive that the all the Undead in WoW should be eradicated, along with anyone who sides with them, or indeed anyone who doesn't side with the Crusade. But there is a whole load of meaty story to them, political intrigue, spies within the ranks and corrupt figureheads. So anyways, one

WEWT!!! http://eu.blizzard.com/diablo3/ Another Blizzard game to suck all my life/time/friends away!!!

This rather creepy, Something Awful did a generic gamer guy skit: https://www.somethingawful.com/series/gaming-guyz/ It is worrying how similar this is to myself and Cunzy, putting the OTT homoeroticism to one side of course. Hearty Masculine Handshake, Richie

Seriously how effin cool are these T-shirts! Hypno, Mewtwo, Articuno, Cubone... all done in a tasteful* way. If only there were some other gamer T-Shirts that were tasteful... The hunt begins. * i.e. you could wear them in public, without people shaking there heads or pointing an laughing at the disgrace that comes with wearing a Pokemon Tshirt.

Yes it's Resident Evil Gaiden for the GameBoy Color. Color should have a "u" in it. We've never played it, even though it's ten pounds from amazon. We probably won't either because the GBA is no doubt some kind of corroded battery affair by now. We're also opposed to it because it is called "Gaiden". Which sounds a lot like gay den. Resident evil gay den: After the events of resident evil 1 & 2 Barry and Leon are hanging out at their secret tree house base. After Claire goes to Europe to find her brother, the boys discover through a friendly game of spin the bottle that Leon and Barry may be more than just friends. Play as Barry or Leo in in this exciting adventure for the GameBoy color. Choose the right time to come out to Rebecca. Berate Barry for always going on about Chris as if he is in love with him or something jesus Barry if you love him so much why don't you go to Europe to find him. Tell Leon cunning lies about Ada Wong

Welcome back to the Top 50! What comes after 46? Well, it's only 45! Some of you predicted this one on our Top 50 forum thread . Yes, it's Final Fantasy VIII! This is the only Final Fantasy on the list! We know what you are thinking, "Final Fantasy VIII! Better than VI!". And the answer is yes! Final Fantasy VIII had everything and it is still the most played of the Final Fantasies IN THE WORLD. It had a great storyline, especially the bit where you had to talk to a dog and the bit where everyone remembers that they forgot that they all grew up together! Squeenix gold. VIII makes the grade because it is the only Final Fantasy with three "woulds" in the main line up (Irvine, Rinoa, Tifa). Lastly, like all gamers TGAM cried like a widdle girl when Rinoa died! What a game, what a 45th TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever entry! The list so far: 46: Resident Evil Genesis 47: Dino Crisis 3 48: Dead Rising 49: Resident

Well, I'm sure we all saw this coming, but someone has finally done it. As I'm sure most of you are aware, the Wiimote can be linked up to your PC, and using certain homebrew programs it can be used like a mouse, and there are some even some crazy little coders that got the PC guitar hero clone, Frets on Fire, to work with the wiimote guitar! And there was even the inevitable Wiimote vibrator programs. But to take things further, someone has homebrewed some Wii software which allows this vibrator software to wrok with an image slideshow, and has online support for 32 people. There you go, I'll let you contemplate those images for a while... Luv n Hugs, Richie

Taken from the site that took my idea for jillsammichs , and expanded it to include, Halo, Smash bros, pokemon and Orange box, instead of just Resident evil: Yet another site that ripped us off: Halolz

Well we've had zombies, zombies, zombies and zombie dinosaurs in our hotly anticipated TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever. What could possibly beat 50-47? Well something has to otherwise the list is pretty flawed no? Chortle! Well today children in at number 46. We're going to get complaints that this one is so low I know it in my heart! Yes, yes it's only fucking RESIDENT EVIL GENESIS for the mobile phone! Not the first, not the last retelling of Resident Evil 1 but surely the most 46th on the list! Yes indeed. I hear what you are saying. Is this really better than Dead Rising? Well check the list because Dead Rising is lower than this so DUR SPAZMOID of course it's better! Does Dead Rising have Barry Burton in it? No? I didn't think so. Wow what an exciting week. Readers have been voting and commenting in the half dozens at least. What does next week's list bring? I'll give you a hint. " NOT METROID OR

Every now and then the internet helps us to find family members and lost friends. We rediscovered Miss Bea Havin from 90s game magazine Playstation Pro and we even found our sister . Our real sister not the one we made up . And today we may have found one of our cousins "droolingmaniac". We found him commenting on some bullshit post over at Game Daily ? (Who? The site looks like IGN and reads like joystiq so were not even linking it). Anyway the article is about reviewers "seven deadly sins" but the author of the post forgets that writing a review isn't some kind of herculean task. Anyone can do it. Few can do it well. Our cousin, who we will refer to as "drool" put him in his place with this lovely comment: "This piece of superficial nonsense doesn't inspire confidence in the gaming press. So much of it points to the author's inability to follow his own advice. He's conscious of some of his transgressions, but at the same time his

So far, so good. Three great games on the list, I'm sure you'll agree (aside from two of them not really being games). So what is better than Dead Rising you might ask? Well it's only frickin Dino Crisis 3! Although much hated by most gamers, we don't share that opinion because we have never played it. The last time I checked it still wasn't backward compatible with the Xbox 360 which is a testament to how much it is hated considering that titles like Catwoman, Dinotopia and Bass Pro Shops Trophy Hunter 2007 have been emulator enabled. However, it remains one of the greatest games of all time because from reading the instruction book, looking at the back of the box, examining the screenshots and watching videos it has genetically altered dinosaurs in space. Which is kind of like dinosaur zombies in space which in turn means that it is practically Resident Evil in space which is where Albert Wesker lives. What a great game! The list so far: 48: Dead Rising 49: Resid

Time for number 48! Excited? I know I am really excited. Here's a clue to the game via an excellent screenshot from Eurogamer. Yes it's Dead Rising (referred to as Dead Rizzling in TGAM circles thanks to a stupid customer). Why so low? Nobody asks. Well it's a compormise, I love Dead Rising but Richie has no time for it. So it's here. The first proper game on the list. Dead Rising has everything: zombies, shopping malls, hot fat lesbo cops, ban in Germany, Jills Sandwiches, everyday violence, cults, guns, storyline, hideous save system, unreadable text, the Dante, Jill and Ryu zombies, cars, viruses and tits mcgee (never forget tits Mcgee). The usual capcom trappings of being a bit confusing on the first playthrough and the aforementioned save system only work to make it better in our eyes. Perhaps the greatest achievement is that the game works properly. So if you feel so inclined you can sit on the roof for the whole game until the chopper arrives*. It still remains t