That guy's a Maniac...

Let's milk the cash cow till only blood comes out. Milk it like a Polaroid picture. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it. *We're still gonna buy it like a bunch of kidulthood fags.

So GTAIV still grabbing headlines. Some good some bad. But one statement that crops up time and time again, by the naysayers, then reiterated for ridicule by the defenders, is that GTAIV is some kind of prostitute murdering simulator . Which, to be fair it can be. But why focus on such a tiny little possibility in the game? Oh to grab headlines and take up some column inches. But come on journos, senators, presidents and prime ministers. You ain't gonna beat GTAIV. No the game is way too popular and successful. Rockstar has had more court cases than hot dinners and there is even a book out that pretty much says GTA, it's okay. So come on hacks and political wannabes. Rockstar and GTA are a well defended fortress. You aren't gonna beat them. But if your criticism about games you never played boils down to repeating a single sentence to get the mob going, why not choose a softer target than the battle hardened Rockstar. So once again Christian Mothers Against Everything, Dai

Woah now, so last night saw the launch of some DLC (due for today, but we wont persecute MS's timekeeping). This DLC included the much anticipated additional Katamari content... with a hefty price tag. Each "new" zone to create a Katamari in was either 200 or 300 MS points, couple this with the new cousins and accessories. Each of the new zones is 384kb, for the non technologically savvy, there is no way that 384kb can be new content, it is simply a wee file that unlocks content that already exists on the disk. All in all this "new" content will set you back over 2000 MS Points (Nearly £20). Shocking. Also on XBL last nigh the Muse Guitar Pack was up, costing 500 MS Points for a meaty 60mb download including 3 muse tracks. Much better. Luv n' Hugs, Richie X

Introducing the SaSi... This ingenious piece of tech is due in stores very soon. How does it differ from every other sex toy out there? Well for starters it retails for £225, but don't let that put you off, Lets see what you get for £225: From the manufacturer website Je Joue : SaSi is the ultimate, customisable vibrator. Using the latest Sensual Intelligence technology, SaSi is uniquely intuitive. It learns and remembers exactly what you like, giving you the perfect, intense sensual massage every time. Fantastic for partner foreplay or solo massage Splashproof, non-porous and bacteria resilient Removable covers made from phthalate and latex-free medical grade silicone, using the newly patented SMITEN membrane technology Fully customisable with fascias available in different colours. Rechargeable Beautifully packaged ideal as a gift A smooth, rounded head undulates under a thin, silky cover, creating a soft kneading sensation that can be customized by adjusting m

Back by popular demand. Unfortunately, due to the Hollywood Writer's Strike, Omastar wrote this one himself. As you can see it's not the greatest of adventures. EXCLUSIVE REVIEW OF OMASTAR COMICS 18. They're just cranking them out now. It used to have a plot but now it's just like Lost. 4/10.

We got a reply!! Which will go down in TGAM history because no one normally replies to our open letters. Here it all is: Hi Cunzy1 1, or whoever. Thanks for your email. I always appreciate it when somebody takes the time and effort to contact us, as you have done, regardless of your opinion. Thank you also for continually buying the magazines. Your loyalty pays our wages and funds our passion. Thanks for your points and the detail of your email. All criticism is taken on board. It's kind of flattering to see that you're 'onto us hacks'. It's always nice to hear that people actually read the words and don't just look at the pretty pictures. I look forward to reading further analysis of the magazine, should you see fit to provide it. Lastly, let me reassert the point that I/we really appreciate the fact that you continually buy the magazine despite thinking it's far from the standards needed to satiate your refined gaming ideals. Have a great Bank Holiday, Cha

Aussieman: So I'm really tired today. I was up till four last night playing GTAIV. Aussieman's friend: Oh yeah? Any good? Aussieman: Well it isn't as good as Gears but maybe I haven't played it enough yet. Aussieman's friend: I used to play Vice city on my housemates PS2. It was sweet. Aussieman: Yeah well it's okay but there was another game on the 360 that was much better. The graphics were smoother and the story was better. No one I know has ever played it though so.. Aussieman's friend: What game was that? Aussieman: Saint's Row. O-o. So yeah GTAIV. I had a bit of a throw down with it the other day. It's good but as you are pissing around you know that this game is huge and you start to feel a bit scared and overwhelmed. The side missions, cheevos, hidden packages? and silly easter eggs. But as Aussieman shows maybe GTAIV isn't such a big thing for the casual gamer. Oh well time will tell but at least someone may notice when Saints Row 2 com