Showing posts with the label just like the escapist

Resident Evil 2: Malocclusion

Breaking News:  Capcom confirm Resident Evil 2 and Devil May Cry 5  are set in the same universe, Claire and Nico share the same genetic trait of increased vertical overlapping of the mandibular anterior (lower front) teeth by the maxillary anterior (upper front) teeth, usually measured perpendicular to the occlusal plane. Nicoletta Goldstein from Devil May Cry 5 Claire Redfield from Resident Evil 2 (2019) In other breaking news:  World's Second Greatest Video Game Blog - That Guy's A Maniac have found that two games from video game developer and publisher Capcom contain characters with a prominent overbite, but struggle to find some kind of joke to tie the two together. have reportedly brainstormed ideas such as "What would these two look like in The Simpsons" and attempting to work around the phrase "biting off more than you can chew". have apparently opted for a relatively unfunny shared universe link, with a medi

Post-Halloween Halloween post

Every year as summer sings its swan song, the plants are subjected to a little bit more frost each day and their tissues burst and decay as they turn brown and mulchy, and we like to celebrate by watching films depicting topless teens getting hacked into little pieces. Alternatively for the past few years I have made an effort to try and play horror/Halloween style games. A couple of years ago I played through the Old Ghostbusters game, that one where they had all the original cast and the game itself is basically Ghostbusters 3? You know that one right? Cuz if you don't and you are a fan of the original Ghostbusters movies you should totally play it! Its so properly done its amazing that it's not in a hall of fame! It has plenty of call back to the films in the form of collectibles like, Vigo's painting! And most other years I do a playthrough of Ghostmaster. Which honestly I am surprised I have not talked at length about on TGAM. Ghostmaster is from 15 years

Doki-Doki Nightmare fuel!

Wow, just wow... Doki-Doki Literature club  is an amazing piece of work. A truly horrifying, 4th wall breaking,  experience, all wrapped up in a cutesy visual novel about school life. And that is so true, the game really messes you around on several occasions, making you believe you are making choices but you are not and that terrifies you even more. Warning *spoilers* ahoy! After a certain event the game glitches the fuck out and send you in a weird spiral of messed up events as if something never happened... You are then approached by an in game character who orchestrates a series of events to prove her love, and even after this confession the game still continues you down a path of truly fucked up madness. Seriously, its free, play it! A whole new approach to gaming, more immersive than that time you had to change controller ports in metal gear. Love and only Monika. Richie X.

Lakeview Cabin collection

Hey guys! Do you want a game that makes you feel: Nostalgic Scared Inadequate Then Lakeview cabin collection  is for you! Lake view Cabin collection is a fun re-release of an older browser game. It is entirely 2D and with little pixel-arty graphics.  It's very simple, straightforward controls and wandering about just allows you to discover fun little Easter eggs in the game, picking up and throwing backpacks makes items fall out, falling off high platforms causes your character to lose a leg, which you can then use as a weapon, there is even pixel orgies to set up! But it doesn't end there in your little world of pounding pixelized six packs and hitting pixelized bongs (which make the screen/controls all jankey) there are terrifying copyright infringing bad guys determined to come hunt you down and turn your characters in to gory piles of pixelized flesh, bone and sinew. In order to defeat/run away from these guys you are given the task of setting up

Another day another pre-owned QQ

This time from should-know-better David Braben. EDGE 'have' the story Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V from Gamasutra. Every now and then someone from the games industry will raise their head above the parapet and blame pre-owned games for their own poor sales without a shred of evidence to back it up. Here's choice quote from Braben on why pre-owned is killing single player games: I mean, the idea of a game selling out used to be a good thing, but nowadays, those people who buy it on day one may well finish it and return it. And of course, marketeers not marketing games after launch week really helps too right? Oh and the so called gaming press asymmetrically hyping a game up to launch then dropping coverage as if the game never existed once it is actually out has nothing to do with it? Perhaps devs should make a game that last longer than a day or even games that people might want to keep? Presumably, Braben has data for how pre-owned has adversely affected Frontier Developments

Why is the Escapist so shit Part 2

Part 1 is here. This may be why the Escapist continues to be so shit. Here be a few gems from the Reddit: Robomonkster in response to the escapist claiming the crunch has caused strain: How are they 'feeling the crunch' with that many fucking ads? Have they found the other end of the online ad-revenue bell-curve, where they spend more money on the bandwidth for them than the ads bring in? Amen to that even if I did have a desire to sift through their poorly designed website through all that crap to find some theoretical gems the constant ads would drive me away. As it is I try other ways of watching Zero Punctuation so i don't have to visit the site and get inundated with advertising before, after, above, below and around and content. Acid Super Sam : "I respect the Escapist" Nooooo ho ho. What kind of person says that. Why god why?

The Best Thing About Dead Space

Dead Space 2 is out and seems to making some waves. We're glad for it. It's one of those franchises that you can get behind and wish it success. The games are excellent and the Universe that Visceral Games has created is the usual sci-fi schlock but it's all very polished. However, the best thing about Dead Space is that when you shoot the necromorphs the sound they make are almost the exact same noise I make when I stand up or have to bend down. I can't get this association out of my head but I think it makes the games slightly better for it.

How should we choose our GOTY?

Do we go: Pretentious Wanker and choose the most obscure flash game, that essentially recreates one alrightish mini-game from an Amiga game once? Nearer the truth but Crass and choose CoD? Back to our roots and choose a Wii game that we might be able to play with another normal human being and not get embarrassed because tits/violence-that-adolescents-find-amusing comes up and undermines all that envangelising about how games are worthy or wider appreciation? Democratic and just say WoW? Completely wrong and say Alan Wake? Like a proper fucking man and say Gran Turismo 5? Full retard and say some iOS game? Or with our heart and say Monster Hunter Tri? Decisions decisions.

Little King's Story Get!

It only took a year but we have finally added (a new copy BTW!) Little King's Story to the collection. We feel really bad for waiting so so long especially considering the tumultuous time that Cing has had recently. As much as we don't want to bang on about internet gaming peoples inane shouting versus real life gamers it does actually take a whole year on longer to purchase a game. We're old enough to have some disposable cash to feed the gaming bunny but finding the time to play them means it can be months of years before we pick up a title. The reason why we had left it so long because it got unanimously high ratings we assumed it would be easy to pick up when we eventually get round to it on our to play list. However, this title, widely considered to be one of the best for the Wii, isn't available through GAME online, let alone in stores and we saw a copy of it for £8 at the local supermarket* sandwiched between some of the vilest shovelware that many complain abou

How do you make a sequel to Starcraft?

Basically, keep it the same but have dual wielding then add a number 2 on the end.