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Showing posts with the label resident evil 5

That Resident Evil 6 trailer

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Oh my god you guys, watch this:
 THIS IS DISGUSTING. Capcom should be ashamed of themselves. Did they not learn from Resident Evil 5? This trailer is so racist. 
 1) First of all this game is telling four year olds (everyone knows that four year olds play these games) that it is okay to shoot white men who are world leaders. Could've made the president black or a woman or a black woman. But no. A white guy. Disgusting. Don't they know that this kind of imagery (people shooting white presidents) is charged with history? 
 2) It is racist against white presidents who wear glasses. Ut oh, I'd watch out if I were you Giorgio Napolitano cos come 2012 there's gonna be a whole bunch of racist four year olds trying to shoot you up in the face/eyes. 
 3)All the zombies are white ironically, including a jumping zombie. Don't they know that this kind of imagery (white people shooting jumping white people) is charged with history? Capcom just assumes all gamers are asshats w…

Back on the small screen.

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No thanks to our interview five years ago. We remained true. STILL A SHALLOW GAME THOUGH.
In other news. Hey, hey remember Resident Evil? That was pretty cool right? In Raccoon City and stuff and and the one in Spain with the non zombies. That was pretty cool. Hey you remember when, like the only thing that would make Resident Evil better was loads of shitty dialogue that actually takes itself seriously and generic S.A.S bullshit and ziplines and helicopters and terrorists and all that boring generic military crap that nobody finds cool? No. We don't either.

Quick! Provide Content. Anything Will Do.

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This statement made us LOL over at Penny Arcade in a post in response to bum-slap-gate or whatever it will be called until something else comes up:

"I shot Gabriel once with a shrink ray, and he used his jetpack to fly out the window like an insect. Fifteen years ago. Still talking about it, about scenarios that to this day no game has managed to top."

It's stuff like this that is gaming gold. I know how that's funny and I wasn't even there, nor do I know either of them that well and I probably played one of the Dukes once. I remember shooting pigs and being worried if anyone saw me watching a 6 x 6 pink pixel with red pixel underwear gyrating around a pole. That is what used to pass for titillation. I can't say that recent gaming has come up with any of those emergent bits that have you giggling so hard your ribs hurt. This maybe because I don't spend half as much time playing games so statistically I can't expect it to happen. It's possibly becaus…

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Resident Nonsense

What a nonsense.
Video Games | Resident Evil: Revelations | E3 2010: Debut Trailer XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii It has always been a bit of nonsense but really?

Resident Evil Afterlife

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We're going to break one of our cardinal rules by recognising that Resident Evil Movies exist. Without fail they have all dissapointed (with the exception of does-it-really-count? Resident Evil 4D thing-a-ma-bob).

Anyway, according to Capcom Urethra the producer of yet another dissapointment has the following to say:

"I think if fans look at Resident Evil 5, they will know what is coming and what to expect in the movie"

Does this mean we will see Sienna Guillory with mankey tits? We can only hope so.



EXPLAINING THE JOKE
To get the above tenuous image joke you need to:

1) Be aware that manky was a popular englishism that means gross or disgusting.
2) Have played Resident Evil 5 to the SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERs point where Chris and Nuda pull the gem off of Jill's chest exposing a manky hole in her cleavage.
3) Know that there is a Pokemon called Mankey.

Even armed with the above information, expect no more than a silent inside laugh at best.

Needed: Fanfiction

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Well the Hunk competition is over. After two years we've had no entries. This can be taken as proof that you can't trust the Machinima community. Fuck you Machinima community. Fuck you.

How will the fanfiction guys fare? We're running another competition (wow now we're just like the official Mega Man site!). As you may well now, Wesker is to appear as a rip off DLC pish in Lost Planet 2. What we want to know is how did he get there?

Feel free to dick around with the "Resident Evil Canon" as Capcom so frequently do but do make sure your fic. contains the following elements:

1) Barry Burton's daughters Polly and Moira.
2) Tits McGee from Dead Rising.
3) Dante slicing a whole train in half.
4) A non racist justification for Sheva's totally racist costume in RE5.
5) Jill and Rebecca talking about who they fancy in S.T.A.R.S.
6) Cheryl Jones' supplementary mission in it's entirety.
7) A recurring joke about how Mega Man is into Moira Burton.
8) Tofu.
9) Morri…

TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 41

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We didn't forget. We were working on it all the time. Yeah that's right.

Anyway, number 41 on our list of the TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever, well, it is none other than Johnny-come-lately Resident Evil 5.

Unlike all the other Resident Evil games on this list, this game is new. That is why it is so low on this list. What kind of elitist list making pricks would we be if we put a new game in the top 40? No kind. That is what we would be.

Resident Evil 5 was a departure from the classic series. Staple enemies like white male skinny zombie, white woman skinny zombie, fat man zombie and spanish people was replaced with just black people in this iteration of the classic survival horror series. For the first couple of chapters anyway. Then it was gas mask people. The game received stacks of criticism and some flip reversed racism against Japanese people for it's perceived racism. Then the game came out and everyone kind of got over it. …

TGAM will return

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At the moment the only active member of TGAM is in Africa on fieldwork, proving once and for all if RE5 is racist or not.

Normal service will resume shortly.

In the meantime......YOU FUCKING PERVERTS!

The Sheva from Resident Evil 5 Nude Cheat

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Surprisingly, we've managed to find a little Easter egg from Capcom in their latest survival horror game Resident Evil 5. That is right sports fans, you can unlock a nude(ish) Sheva. Here's how, accompanied by some artists reconstructions because we'll be damned if we can take screenshots. Them shits is too professional.
Here's how to do it. You need to beat the game first. We beat it in co-op so it doesn't seem to make a difference if you do it solo. Then start the game again when you get back to chapter 3-1, (the boat level) you'll need to pick up the Beast and Warrior slates (this is what we did, we don't know if you need to pick up these slates but it's best to be sure). If you then check your map you should see a tiny island to the west of the long tentacle looking thing (the stream) on the South West of the map. Head here.
On this island there is a small hut (previously not much to do with it). If you approach it an "Enter" command will …