On an unrelated note here is a play I just penned called Some Things Never Change
Some Things Never Change
By Cunzy1 1
A HANDSOME MAN who looks very well hung and charasmatic and could pass for early-mid twenties walks into a GAME store. He wanders around the store with intent and eventually queues up for the till whilst a MORON is trading in 50 copies of Fifa to a GAME WORKER. GAME WORKER 2 is busy stocking the display case behind the counter with about 100 copies of Fifa 2013 for all formats.
MORON: When is the new Pro-Evo out?
GAME WORKER: Pro-evo? No mate you want Fifa it's much better
GAME WORKER 2 stops stacking copies of Fifa 2013, ignores the queue of six people and joins the conversation.
GAME WORKER 2: No Pro evo is by far better.
GAME WORKER: Better than Fifa? No way. Pro evo is the bomb. I mean Fifa is the bomb. See what happens when I work with this guy?
MORON: Nah man, Pro evo is better.
The HANDSOME MAN rolls his eyes and leave the queue and continues to search the store. Once MORON and all the other people in the store leave he approaches the counter once again.
HANDSOME MAN (sweating profusely): Hey umm dude do you have that crazy Pokemon typing game?
GAME WORKER 2: Pokemon typing game?
HANDSOME MAN: Yeah it came out last Friday.
GAME WORKER 2: Typing game?
HANDSOME MAN: Yeah came out last week. Comes bundled with a bluetooth keyboard. Plays like Typing of the Dead?
GAME WORKER 2: Typing game?
HANDSOME MAN: Yeah out last week.
GAME WORKER 2: Pokemon Conquest?
HANDSOME MAN: No.
GAME WORKER 2: Pokemon Black and White 2?
HANDSOME MAN: No that isn't out yet.
GAME WORKER 2: Let me check.
GAME WORKER 2 then goes out to the room in the back, unzips his flies and holds his penis for ten minutes. He then comes back out.
GAME WORKER 2: No sorry it must not be out yet.
HANDSOME MAN: It came out last Friday?
GAME WORKER 2: No.
We now enter the mind of HANDSOME MAN
HANDSOME MAN: So despite the fact that this store recently closed and has now reopened you aren't stocking a spin off game for one of the most popular if not the most popular game franchise of all time 3 days after it launched? Not only that but you have literally no idea it exists. Are you hopeful for the fate of the reopened store given that the Oxford Street flagship store recently closed down and presumably that got a significantly higher footfall than this somewhat satellite store? Is this how the chain is to be saved simply by overstocking Fifa games every year? Because I recall that strategy being tried before and not really working. Well I imagine Amazon must be quaking in their boots as consumers flock from the range and value of their video game retail section to the almost pointless and somewhat redundant brick and mortar shop that offers neither competitive pricing, convenience or stock to the gamer who doesn't want to play Halo and Fifa then. Well bloody done.
We now leave the mind of HANDSOME MAN
HANDSOME MAN: Weird. Can I just buy this then?
HANDSOME MAN puts a copy of Alan Carr's stop smoking game for the DS on the counter. It is priced 99p but GAME WORKER 2 only asks for 98p. HANDSOME MAN pays and leaves the store sweating so profusely that he glistens .