Posts

Warning new term approaching: Kuntaku

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As some of our more diligent readers are aware we don't like Kotaku very much. For those of you who are not so diligent and here because you were linked here, these are the reasons we don't like it: 1. The colour scheme. 2. The half truths and rumours. The dodgy reporting  and then reposting their own failed reporting  as some kind of flaw in ' games journalism' . 3. The dross you have to sift through... Nobody cares (and if you do, you really need to rethink your priorities) about the latest maximum risky doll from a 10 year old jRPG. 4. Day/night note. We thought we killed it off but it has come back. Remember kids, you should buy Arcade Mania. 5. I have never laughed with Kotaku, only at it. To say it is devoid of genuine grown up humour is being overly generous. 6. It's too American. Way too much attention on tits. There are even better parts on a woman (hint:around the armpit and pantsu regions work well) and almost no talk of the wang despite 25%

Microfanficcing- Our Story.

We've literally just invented microfanficcing everybody. And now after all the lies, plagiarism and law suits we're now ready to tell our story about how it all started. Richie : Well it all started when we I was excited about the Chocobo for the Xbox 360 avatars. Cunzy1 1 : Yeah. I was ridiculing him for having a light sabre, chocobo and megatron hat and being over the age of 15. Richie : That's right. Well I went on to say that the only reason I wanted the chocobo was to pretend I was Irvine from Final Fantasy 8 and get to bad touch Selphie. Cunzy1 1 : Then... oh god this sounds so bad. Then we went on to talking about Zell. I mean here is this guy in this band of merry men each with different skillz and all he can do is punch people. Richie : He doesn't even have a dog. Cunzy1 1 : Exactly and then I asked Richie what he called Angelo because I called Angelo 'bitch' so Rinoa's limit break was Bitch Strike and Bitch Rush. Then Richie fan ficked the Bitch n

Why games are not art.

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Did you see what I did there? The Saatchi's Best of British TV show has inspired this post. We are not ones to bore you all to death with information written in paragraphs. Our preferred method is the list: games are/aren't art thing is long dead. Nobody talks about it anymore and we're not ones to be ahead of the curve! However watching some of the top artists and art critics talk absolute bollocks about what is or isn't even good or bad art in the excellent 1) Games are of too broad appeal. From a midnight addiction to Minesweeper through to the latest mini game on the iphone. Everyone has at some point played a game. It is really hard to be elitist when everyone knows what you are talking about and can call you out on the BS. So games aren't art because it is too popular. Also, a game which nobody has played makes headlines for a scene taken out of context. A tunnel in which an artist rapes people barely makes Gawker media . People care about games ev

Why I hate Street Fighter [Maximum Risky]

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All the time, the cold lonely empty silence of the comments section and TGAM's email inbox seems to be asking me "Why if you are the official Capcom website do you never do anything on the Street Fighter series?". I'm sure that is what the silence asks of me. And if I were to answer it, my answer would be a three parter. Firstly, why do we only seem to ever write about Pokemon and Resident Evil? This is the bigger concern. Why pick out Street Fighter? Jeez. Secondly, I hate Street Fighter but it isn't because I think the fighting genre hasn't progressed at all in over a decade, it isn't because now there are stupid bars everywhere and nobody tells me what each of them mean or how to activate any of them so I just button mash until something explosiony happen and it isn't even because 'So there is this fighting tournament' has been the standard plot for fighting games since forever. Thirdly, the real reason why I hate Street Fighter is beca

The six degrees of Dante

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From Dante to Mario. Can it be done? Started off quite hard because we figured we couldn't get out of Capcomland. But here's how it is done kids. Dante-Viewtiful Joe courtesy of Viewtiful Joe. Viewtiful Joe-Ryu courtesy of Tatsunoko vs Capcom Then we go Ryu to Mitsurugi courtesy of Namco X Capcom Then we go from Mitsurugi to that Link chap via Soul Calibuuuur 2. And finally from Link to the podgy plumber via Superu Smashu Brotheru! Can you do it with less degrees? Do have a go. And while you are at it see if you can beat: Mickey Mouse to Sonic the Hedgehog- 4 degrees. Master Chief to Solid Snake- 3 degrees (cheating a bit). Megatron to your own Mii- 2 degrees. And if you can get those you can get practically anywhere! Anywhere worth going anyway. Characters with no degrees to anybody just aren't worth it people.

Lady Gaga - Gagame

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Exclusive: Lady Gaga: Glitz, Glamour and Gaming. Ok well... when we heard about this we were worried that it was going to be some kind of soulless cash-in, but after chatting with the (undisclosed) developer we have reconsidered our stance a little. "We are attempting to encapsulate Gaga's individual fashion, glitz and glamour and translate that to a playable medium. It is not our intention to create some droll dress-up aimed for tweens, we want to create something iconic and playable, essentially a game worthy of the uberstyle that Gaga herself represents. Without giving too much away, fashion and music will feature highly in the game, along with re-imagining of many of the current gaming themes on the maket, but with a Gaga-twist." There you go, yet another Thatguys exclusive. Love and Disco-Sticks, Richie XXX

Miyamoto tries to justify 2D

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Artist rendition of how Miyamoto actually sees the world. So recently he said: “I don’t think everything needs to be 3D, or that just because we’re seeing more 2D games now, that everything’s going to shift back to 2D. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a 3D game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of 2D games were. When going 2D, you need the courage to not be so attached to visual appearance of the games and to really pursue the gameplay experience.” Interestingly this also reads well if you replace 2D for SD (Standard Definition/Poor-man's TV) “I don’t think everything needs to be HD, or that just because we’re seeing more SD games now, that everything’s going to shift back to SD. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a HD game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of SD games were. When going SD, you need the courage to not be so attached